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Author Topic: Kind of an awkward question.  (Read 985 times)

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Offline dannyg87

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Kind of an awkward question.
« on: April 23, 2013, 08:17:40 AM »
Hey guys I love you do on this forum and now I have a couple questions of my own.  So, a few days ago I was invited to a gloryhole by a guy I met online.  He initially wanted be to top him but I've never had anal sex before as a top or a bottom and wasn't really comfortable and said no and that I would prefer oral sex.  While at the gh I noticed kind of a different feeling and got a little concerned because I didn't know what was going on on the other side of the curtain. So I guess my question is, what does anal sex feel like? Would I have known if I had penetrated someone? I didn't feel any pressure at all but do you feel it at all? If I did penetrate him it would only have been for maybe a few seconds and then I because I got uncomfortable and decided to leave. What would be my risk? Thank you so much.

Danny

Online Jeff G

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Re: Kind of an awkward question.
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2013, 09:17:18 AM »
Hi Danny , I rather doubt you penetrated someone and didn't know it , other than that its not productive to guess about what happened , much less assign a risk to it . The only way to know your HIV status is to test at the appropriate time and that's 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm your results . Its hard to say if you had a risk so why not just do the right thing and test like all sexually active adults should be dong anyway .

 To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but HIV is forever.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care checkup, including but not limited to HIV testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine checkups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine HIV tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid HIV infection. It really is that simple!

Offline dannyg87

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Re: Kind of an awkward question.
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2013, 09:35:13 AM »
Thanks Jeff! I don't think I penetrated him either, but then again I can't say I know for sure.  But I will get tested at 6 weeks and start doing STI screenings every six months instead of once a year.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Kind of an awkward question.
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2013, 02:00:32 PM »
Not to add caveats to your situation, but there is a theoretical chance that someone could be loose enough, due to recent anal sex or self pleasuring or drugs, to back up on your penis in a glory hole without you realizing it was an anus and not a mouth. Then again, isn't part of the allure of the glory hole situation the not knowing who, or what, is on the other side?

It's a risk that you take when you enter into the tacit agreement for gloryhole sex. It could be a mouth, an anus, a fistful of razor blades, anything. The thrill, I imagine, stems at least in part from that choice.

As long as you are willing to assume the risk that the person on the other side won't be backing up on you, or mutilate you, then it's not a complete stretch to consider that you are risking exposure to any number of STDs, including HIV. It would be uncommon, but not at all impossible, for an insertive partner in this situation to become infected in this situation.

Any time you are foregoing condoms for sex that might or might not be penetrative in an anonymous/blind situation, you are assuming the risk for all sorts of things, from castration to STD/HIV infection.

A test might be a decent idea, not only for HIV but as you mentioned, for STDs in general. Please note that syphilis shares the three month window with HIV and is far more easily transmitted.

As this situation seems to have caused anxiety, perhaps using a condom when entering into such an arrangement might be an idea worth pursuing.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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