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loved one is hiv+ , afraid I might contract :(


Hi everyone,
I am new to this forum.
My mom is hiv+ since couple of years. My dad passed away because of AIDS. It was very tough for him and my mom. I came to know about my parents' status when my dad reached the stage of AIDS. My mom is healthy.
I love her a lot and make sure she follows a good diet, takes her med on time.
And I bear no stigma in my mind whatsoever. But I feel fearful sometimes on account of the past. Since I was unaware of their status, I never took any precaution. I have read it everywhere that it spreads only through unprotected sex, from the same needle and blood transfusion.
But what about having used the same tooth brush by mistake and similar petty stuff?
It freaks me out, that I might have it as well. Too afraid to go for a test.
Secondly , I have heard that the test results are not always correct. You might be positive, but the test might not be able to detect that in the first go.
Me and my bf are scared.
Once I gave my mom a bare back massage and my nails were big. Thoughts like "what if her skin was flaky and my nails dig in her flesh a bit?", freaked me out for days. I had asked my mom to see if she had any cuts on her back, the next day.
She couldn't see any.
But I was ashamed to ask her that. As if I wasnt caring for her unconditionally. She is my mom afterall.
Can hiv spread through these means. Plz elaborate. I wanna take care of her without having any constraints in mind.

Jeff G:
HIV is acquired from unprotected penetrative vaginal or anal intercourse , sharing IV drug equipment and some times from mother to child . The mother to child transmission occur during childbirth or less frequently from breast feeding , in other words , infants are more susceptible because they still have a developing immune system .   
You can put your mind at ease because HIV is not acquired by kissing , Toothbrush's or giving back rubs . You can treat any HIV positive individual as you would any other person you are close with . You can drink and share food without harm if you wished too also .

Just keep loving your mom and know that you are not going to get HIV from her , its just not going to happen .

If you are a sexually active adult you need to be having regular sexual health checkups anyway . You should try and conquer your fear of testing for HIV because its the responsible thing to do .

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care checkup, including but not limited to HIV testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine checkups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine HIV tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than HIV. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid HIV infection. It really is that simple!   

Hey Jeff G,
thankyou so much. :)
I am much more relieved.
Me and my bf have a active sexual life and are going to get married. We haven't had sexual relationship with any one else. Given that, should we still get regular checkup for STDs done?
Secondly, I have read that if the viral load of a person is high, you might possibly contract hiv if you by mistake use the same brush, or scratch them or something similar**. And my Dad had AIDS with a very high viral load. Should that be a concern? :-\


Jeff G:
If you never had a sexual health checkup I would think its a good idea , not just for you but for ALL people to have unless they are in a secure monogamous relationship . 

HIV is a very fragile virus that cant live outside the confines of the human body and is rendered unable to infect almost instantly after its exposed to air . You saliva also contains dozens of proteins and enzymes that render HIV unable to infect .

The honest truth is you do NOT have to worry about contracting HIV in the manner you have described from a HIV positive person no matter what the viral load .     

Thankyou so much Jeff..!
my love for humanity just grew exponentially!  :D :-*


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