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Author Topic: Concern about life  (Read 1659 times)

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Offline rad1021

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Concern about life
« on: April 11, 2013, 11:04:30 PM »
Hi there. So I was diagnosed with HIV about a few months ago and have already started treatment. I'm 22 years old, I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and try to live as healthy as possible. But I'm constantly worrying about everything I can get now that I've been diagnosed like cancer, ect. I try not think about it sometimes but I just get scared that I won't live that long. It's a constant fear that I have. I was just wondering if anyone has dealt with similar issues and if I should stop worrying so much.

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,685
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2013, 11:21:21 PM »
I was diagnosed when I was about your age and Im 50 now , so I have lived with HIV longer than you have lived at all .

You can do this , life may be different than you planed it to be but the new path can filled with wonderful things as well .

Its easer said than done but try and find a way to enjoy your youth and not worry so much . In time , you will be my age and planning your next adventure .

Offline DrewEm

  • Member
  • Posts: 53
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2013, 04:24:29 AM »
I was diagnosed 3 years ago this month (April). My advice, and many others in Philly, live! Keep to your meds schedule and you will be fine. As my ID doc says, something else will get you first - and I eat healthy, have the occasional martini or bourbon and visit the gym every other day. I'm not a "recreational" drug user.

Offline ARMANDO

  • Member
  • Posts: 249
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2013, 08:10:52 AM »
I THINK EVERYONE  has had theses kind of feelings early on.THE  decision is ultimately up to you if you want to live or die!!!MANY OF MY FRIENDS said that they wanted to live but yet they did not want to change their lifestyle,they continued to drink ,smoke,do drugs,party all nite which always led to random unprotected sex.YES THEY WANTED TO LIVE but they felt that they had been handed a DEATH SENTENCE ,so they figured that they would all go out with a bang......and they ALL DID....they all died!!!SO YES if you decide to live ,its gonna take work and many sacrifices but you will thrive and learn to live with HIV instead of dying because of it!!

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,629
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2013, 09:09:29 AM »


  Hi Rad ,
              You will be fine ! It takes time to get used to the HIV  .

     I also have had HIV  longer than you have been alive .

     My life is rather normal   :)    I stopped thinking about HIV daily a long time ago .

     When I was told I had AIDS   in 2004 I was very much like you are now , But time really does heal our minds of these awful thoughts .

                               I hope you don't worry to much ,

                                                       Weasel 
" Live and let Live "

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,332
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2013, 10:22:09 AM »
I imagine the majority of felt exactly as you do at first.  As with most time journeys, some get there pretty quickly whille others move slowly. 

Like a few others, I've had this virus longer than you've been alive, having been diagnosed at a younger age than you are now.  I was consumed 24/7 with the thoughts of what this virus was doing to me.  It wasn't until I started unloading the emotional baggage that this virus brings that my journey became easier.

Take care and best wishes.

Wolfie
productivity breeds content

Offline rad1021

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2013, 02:13:28 PM »
Thank you all for replying. I do my best not to let it scare me too much. I think I just have to get used to it. The good thing is I'm not alone I have my family and my partner, who is also Positive, to fall back on. But thank you all for the advice. I'm pretty sure ill stay healthy. I hate smoking and alcohol and I work out as often as I can. :) thank you.

Offline LiveWithIt

  • Member
  • Posts: 377
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2013, 06:51:32 PM »
Don't worry yourself unnecessarily, people diagnosed these days and in treatment live a normal lifespan.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline jaace24

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2013, 08:01:33 AM »
I feel like this stuff doesnt really happen anymore since HAART.

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,092
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2013, 09:55:16 AM »
I agree with what others have said about the improved life outlook nowdays with HAART.

I just went past my 28 years HIV positive in January.

I also invite you to view the following link for a dramatic visual reminder of hope matching reality:

http://blog.joinred.com/2012/10/red-on-ground-travel-journal-day-4.html#!/2012/10/red-on-ground-travel-journal-day-4.html
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline Fisher

  • Member
  • Posts: 269
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2013, 06:25:32 PM »
Hey Rad:

Time heals. And at some point you'll calm down and remember that you have a lifetime to live!

And the quality of that lifetime is likely to have much less to do with HIV then your approach to living. Probably the extent and duration, also, provided clear and precise, or close to precise discipline with your HIV regimen.

That does not mean an easy life without challenges, but pretty much a life similar to the umpteen billions on this rock. . .

Like with others who have spoken, I've likely been infected for ages.  I live in the North woods.  So old, that Paul Bunyan calls me auntie . . . And likely infected most of that duration.

Feel what and how you feel. Nothing wrong in that, just your particular bent on how you are responding to HIV. I can’t talk for others, but suspect “we’ve all been there, done that. . .”

While I would be a fool to say HIV infection is a blessing, or that living with a life-threating disease is “cool. “ But I have no doubt at all that your coming to terms with yourself and this truth provides an opportunity to open new depths in your mind and life, otherwise not likely to have ever occurred.

Not exactly a blessing at all. But not a damnation, either.

Time heals. And you have a wonderful life to live, as all of us, if that is the choice made.
- fisher
04/14 CD 486 %23 VL <20
11/13 CD 351 %21  VL <20
10/13 CD 390 %16  VL <20
06/13 CD 315 %19  VL  22
02/13 CD 396 %14  VL <20
12/12 CD 392 %13  VL 320
11/12 CD 428 %13  VL 1200
*Started Meds: Atripla
10/12 CD 427 %11  VL 139000 -- 09/12 CD 408 %13 VL 92928
09/11 CD 745 %27 VL CLOT -- 10/10 CD 863 %29 VL 2782
10/09 CD 597 %30 VL 2537 -- 05/08 CD 809 %28 VL 1504
04/07 CD 797 %25 VL 3558 -- 11/06 CD 720 %28 VL 1214
06/05 CD 731 %25 VL 1575 -- 12/04 CD 1176 %30 VL 1329
01/04 CD 959 %26 VL 1011 -- 11/03 CD 1000 %28 VL 1581
12/02 CD 748 %28 -- 10/01 CD 860 %25
08/00 CD 1022 %28 -- 04/99 CD 854 %27
11/98 CD 899 %28 -- 02/97 CD 1400 %37
11/96 CD 1325  VL <500 -- 09/96 – Western Blot
05/83 – 04/98 - Monogamous Partner Being Negative
ARS - Los Angeles Dec '82

Offline 2blessed

  • Member
  • Posts: 49
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2013, 08:41:48 PM »
Hey Rad:

I'm newly diagnosed so I'm going through the same feelings that you are but we're so fortunate to have alot of the members of this forum that we can look at and say "they definitely went through the worst part of this epidemic" I believe in my heart of hearts that our generation will be the last to really worry about this but those of us that are being diagnosed today will live(in general) the same life span as our negative counterparts.

Offline betterdaysahead22

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2013, 03:01:47 AM »
Hey Rad,

I'm exactly the same age as you and was diagnosed 6 months ago, and also am with a positive partner. Friends! Haha

What I can tell you from my limited experience is that the health scares are the worst - just when you think you're fine they have to test for something else. BUT what's also good to remember is that 99% of the time you wouldn't even be getting tested for those things if you didn't have HIV - they're just being fanatically careful and covering all bases.

Things get better, and after a while you slowly wrap your head around it. Don't worry too much, who knows they might even find a cure in our lifetime :)

Offline strongbrownguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2013, 06:24:24 PM »
Hey Rad, I too, like you are recently diagnosed. In fact had and still struggle at times with the very concerns that you questioned. I think it the norm when something of this nature happens to us. Fortunately, there have been some great people who have written and shared some encouraging words. I have worries too at times. Such as what if I get a new job whose insurance isn't as great as my current one? I agree with everyone that has responded thus far. The one bright side that those like yourself, 2blessed and myself, we caught this thing fairly early and got on medicine. I'm on complera and fortunately have responded very well with it. Within 4 weeks of starting it. My CD4 went from 620 to 671 and VL from 15541 to 67. That was taken on March 1. Just had my last labs drawn on Friday. My doc said I should definitely be undetectable. I'm looking forward to that call. I know I've been long winded. But maybe we can look at it like this. Keep adherence to our medicine so we can be alive to take that cure when we finally get to it.  Keep us posted. I know for me. Being on the forums and responses. Makes me feel supported and not so alone with this thing.
 ;-)

Offline Elkan

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: Concern about life
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2013, 06:34:38 PM »
Hey, I am just diagnosed and I am one year younger than you. I do have the same concern as you do. Just try to do other things to distract yourself when your mind is on this stuff. I am also just getting started to go to gym and eat more healthily. I guess all we could do is to try to keep our body healthy and leave the rest to God. At the end of day, you really don't know when your life is going to end. Nobody does.

 


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