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Author Topic: just tested positive  (Read 5359 times)

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27years

  • Guest
just tested positive
« on: October 15, 2006, 11:00:11 AM »
I have just tested positive and seem to be alright with the news though am not very sure if it will last like that forever.  The problem now is i  have told some of my family members and they are mourning me alive.  I really don't know how to handle the situation as its leading to depression to some of them.  How can i let them know that i am fine and am not that worried as they are thinking.  I am physically fit and not on any medication at the moment the only difference is that i now know my status.  I am actually thinking of keeping it to myself because i don't want people to feel sorry for me as if its the end of the world.  Has anyone out there been in this situation.  surely it would make me happy to let people know my status and some people may benefit from my disclosure.

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: just tested positive
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2006, 11:53:19 AM »
27 give them some time to digest your diagnosis.   Certainly educating them that in current scheme of being hiv in the world is not a death sentence.   You most likely will live just as long as they will...   I hate pity and I hate sympathy.   To rid that you must educate them on what HIV means to you...   I would discontinue disclosing until you get your schpeal polished so you can have an upbeat ending to your disclosure.

Just Sayin,

Love
« Last Edit: October 15, 2006, 11:55:36 AM by Eric »

Offline rugger

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
Re: just tested positive
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2006, 12:14:14 PM »
27,
  I can sort of relate to your situation but I haven't told anyone.  The only ones that know are my doctor and my commanding officer (and she is getting on my nerves).  I came close to telling my bestfriend last night but chickened out. So I am dealing with to myself for right now.


Rugger
June 7, 2006 diagnosed
July 2006 CD4 400 VL 220
Feb 2007 CD4 743 VL 2010

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,095
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: just tested positive
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2006, 07:03:13 PM »
Hello There !,

Welcome!...Sorry to hear that you have tested positive, but you have certainly come to the right place. We are quite the global community here.

Disclosing ones status, can be a very delicate issue. Throughout my 21 years of living with HIV, I have seen those that have been shunned, by their family and friends. I myself, have had those few occasional "friends" that seemed to have disappeared, the minute I had mentioned to them that I was HIV positive. Hell, I had friends of mine years ago, that would have nothing to do with me, when they found out I was gay. Screw them I say !!


I was one of those that immediately told my family and closest friends, that I was positive back in 1985. It was a difficult time for many of them( after finding out ),as it was for myself, but things eventually settled down. And yes, I remember many asking me constantly"how you feeling today"? I understood their concerns, but I really hated that !! I never look back in regret, that I disclosed, when I did, but once again, this is a delicate issue.


As Eric stated you have a lot of information to absorb right now. There is no rush, in disclosing to everyone.Take your time. There is a lesson here on the site, that you may find helpful. Click below :

http://www.aidsmeds.com/lessons/Disclosure1.htm



Also, if you haven't already, I would suggest that you read the lessons, and if you have questions, don't hesitate to ask. There will always be someone here to help you out:

http://www.aidsmeds.com/lessons/StartHere1.htm


Take care of yourself, will be looking forward to hearing more from ya !!



--------Ray


Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Offline tigger2376

  • Member
  • Posts: 462
  • too bad to die youngish!
Re: just tested positive
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2006, 06:10:05 AM »
I made the mistake of getting drunk and dislosing to a not very sympathetic audience. Take your time, it'll feel like the right time when you are ready. the real bitch is telling prospective new partners, it's all very well to say if they can't handle it they're not worth it, but it puts added pressure on a new situation. Still. 5 years on I've come to terms with it, just gone on meds having been healthy in the meantime and that does jolt you a bit but you get there. There unfortunately IS still a stigma attatched to HIV diagnosis, a shame but true. Be careful, look after yourself and know that we are all here for you.
I know i'm going to enjoy the party in the afterlife, but do you all mind that I'm going to be VERY late!!!

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: just tested positive
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2006, 06:44:56 PM »
Hello 27years,

It is unfortunate that you have tested HIV positive. However, it is good that you DO now know of your status so that you can take action with your health. It is important for you to have some sort of Support System in place. Coming here to this site is an excellent start for this. As far as your relatives are concerned, they are acting out of concern and it will take some time for them to digest this.

In the meantime, focus on YOU and your health. Start a multi-vitamin , grab some Omega 3, cut out the fast foods, drink plenty of fluids, get you some sort of exercise, keep your stress level to a minimum, and most importantly, get your proper rest. These are some of the things that you can DO to help the situation out.

Aside from that, I wish to extend to you a warm WELCOME to the forums. Here (as you may have read) you will find understanding, communication, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered. We have an excellent group of people. With their combined experiences, there is a lot that you can learn. There are lessons here on the site that you can go to and read at your leisure.

Please DO feel free to come from time-to-time to vent whatever is on your mind. People Do listen and they DO answer as well.

Again, WELCOME, and make the BEST of each Day!

Offline Pebby577

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: just tested positive
« Reply #6 on: October 24, 2006, 09:04:21 PM »
Keep your chin up as things will get better for you down the road.
I have been positive for 20 years now.  My husband is negitive and has been tested many times and Im so thankful he doesn't have this disease.
But you need to help reassure your friends and family who are going to be support for you.  That your not going to be dying anytime soon.  As you have alot of living to do. 
I have found as good medicine is humor, as if you can laugh as some of the dumbest things in life then it will help out with your immune system.
Remember to always let your lolve ones know how much they mean to you.
I always live my life to the fullest each day as I never know what tomorrow may bring.
Having HIV used to mean a death sentence years back, but it isnt that any more as people are living alot longer.
Stay positive and know Im here for you.
Positive since 1987
HIV 1 & HIV 2
Hep C
T-4 Count 180

Offline c69

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
Re: just tested positive
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2006, 05:14:57 PM »
Hi ,
I was diagnosed dec 2005 and started meds May 2006.
So I am also still in the process of getting used to the idea.
I took my Dr's advice to first come to terms with it myself and then disclose and I am glad I did, because this can be a tough thing to deal with, without family and friends also getting involved. You will find some people here on the forums take it very well and I admire them for that, but for me I am the worrying kind.

So now some eleven months later I know and my wife knows, which is enough for the time being.

This is just how I handle it.
But it is different for everyone.
Hang in there !

C69
Meds since May 2006, Abacavir, Tenofovir, Reyataz & Norvir.

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,493
Re: just tested positive
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2006, 12:00:35 AM »
Hey 27,

Telling your family was the hard part and now you need to let them adjust, the same way that you are adjusting to your new status.  They have the same hopes and fears and each of us deals with traumatic information in different ways.  For some they need to hear assurances that you are fine and others will just pull back for a while, uncertain of exactly how they feel.  These are all normal reactions and as with many things, time will take care of most of it.

The real challenge is to balance your need of support with the needs of support that your family has.  I used to tell my mother that I would tell her if I was really sick.  OK, I lied through my teeth, but she would worry and that is just not a good way to live your life.  You know your family and friends and I do not think you can ever go wrong when you follow either your heart or your guts.

Also you should never underestimate the abilities of others, nor should you assume they will be unable to deal with the news.  You have dealt with the news and so will others.

Your status has shook your family so give it some time for what families do in situations like these.  They listen, they face some of their own fears and life goes on.  Be grateful for the support and enjoy those that bring joy to your life.

HIV or not, life is much too short to ignore the love that surrounds us.  All things in their time.

 


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