Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
September 17, 2014, 07:53:48 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 639160
  • Total Topics: 48518
  • Online Today: 218
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Boyfriend Positive  (Read 1560 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline gric11

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Boyfriend Positive
« on: April 08, 2013, 04:10:05 PM »
My now boyfriend and I met in November and he disclosed his status to me in March. We always used protection no matter what and I got tested immediately after he told me and I tested Negative. Since then, I've been totally supportive and I never thought I would be in a situation where I'm knowingly dating someone that is HIV positive. So my question is, is anybody in a relationship where their partner is negative? How do he or she feels and how long you've been together?

Online Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 11,714
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Boyfriend Positive
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2013, 04:21:01 PM »
Hi Gric . I have moved your thread into the proper forum so that it can be seen by others who are going through the same thing .

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Boyfriend Positive
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2013, 04:48:35 PM »
My now boyfriend and I met in November and he disclosed his status to me in March. We always used protection no matter what and I got tested immediately after he told me and I tested Negative. Since then, I've been totally supportive and I never thought I would be in a situation where I'm knowingly dating someone that is HIV positive. So my question is, is anybody in a relationship where their partner is negative? How do he or she feels and how long you've been together?

Howdy and welcome to the forums!

I think it's terrific that you've found someone, and that he has found you. Wear a condom for penetrative anal/vaginal sex and you will avoid HIV :)

I have been in three serodiscordant (also called "magnetic") relationships, and have dated a bunch of HIV negative guys. Two of the relationships lasted five years each, and I am about to celebrate my second anniversary with my current guy. Some hIV positive folks sero-sort, but I never have, really. And of course none of my guys ever tested positive while we were together. The relationships (before this current one) ended more or less organically for reasons that had nothing to do with HIV.

Because I am an HIV/AIDS educator, it's really important for my partner to be up to speed on A) transmission, and B) My unique illness. If a potential partner doesn't understand what is and is not safer sex, then it simply won't work out. It can really tear down a person's self esteem to be treated like a diseased pariah in the bedroom, and that's something that's hard to fake and harder not to notice. I have, in retrospect, been very lucky.

UNderstanding my disease is also really important. I have had too many potential situations fizzle out when the other person looked at me like some fragile flower, waiting to topple over and die. Not that I haven't been sick, really sick - and then I was grateful to have a partner (who is not a dear friend) willing and able to do a little heavy lifting and sleep in those godawful uncomfortable chairs next to a hospital bed for a bit. But now, I am doing pretty well. I have energy level issues from time to time. but my boyfriend knows me well enough to know when I am playing the "AIDS Card" to get out of something, and calls me on it.

For my part, I take my meds with as close to 100% accuracy as I can, and my viral load reflects that. This provides him with not only a healthy boyfriend who can actually do fun stuff, but also a boyfriend who is essentially uninfectious. This is in part due to our sexual practices (which I am itching to go into great and graphic detail here but wont.)

Having a partner who is very smart (I'm a science nerd and he's a tech nerd, so there's overlap) has really been an exciting thing for me. When we first met, he didn't know much beyond the routine HIV prevention stuff. When he took the initiative to read the studies I showed him, put my illness in it's proper perspective, and even send me relevant articles, I knew I had someone special.

There are folks on this forum who have been in serodiscordant relationships for a decade or more. Hope you and I can someday say the same :)

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.