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just test poz my gf is neg

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OK so I was in hospital for 2 weeks very sick that's when I was diagnosed it took some time but I'm now on meds. My girl friend is right here with me does all she can for me. The question I have is we have unprotected sex still we never used a condom ever.. we want a baby how is she still neg. Can she be 1 if the very few that is immune or maybe I don't have it or I ant passit to others she has been tested every month since Jan I don't want to ask my doc I will sound like I just don't care about her. I did cheat on her a lot but I do love her n now I see it. Please help me understand. She even gotme on the Ryan white program n goes to all my do appts

Hi Gotta, welcome to the forums.

It could be (probably is) sheer luck that your girlfriend is still hiv negative if you were having unprotected intercourse before your diagnosis, while you were poz and didn't know it.

Not every "exposure" will result in the person becoming infected. It can be a difficult virus to transmit. Sometimes a person will become poz after having unprotected sex one time. Sometimes a person can do it many times before becoming poz. There's no way to predict which time the conditions will be right for transmission. It's the luck of the draw.

If you've been having unprotected intercourse after your diagnosis, but before your viral load became undetectable, then she will need to test out to three months for a conclusive result regarding her negative hiv status. The three month window is counted from the last time you had sex without a condom.

If you have an undetectable viral load, you're unlikely to transmit your virus if certain conditions are true, such as...

Being med compliant - taking your meds when you should every day.
Not having other sexually transmitted infections.
Having an undetectable viral load for at least six months.

Poz/neg couples have conceived and had negative babies. This works best in the context of a stable relationship.

Sometimes the negative partner takes PrEP while they're trying to conceive, for "double insurance" against infection.

Also in terms of "the lucky few who are immune" its not that some people cannot contract HIV but that the virus doesnt effect them in the same way. so some people can go years with the virus without ever getting really sick, but this doesnt mean that they don't have it. anyone can become positive.


Wanted to welcome you to the forums.  I am glad to hear you're doing better.  I've heard many stories of poz/neg couples having children.  I do not know any personally, but I would say I have read 25 stories over the last four years, where a poz/neg couple conceived.  Those are just the ones I happened to read.  I am sure there have to be thousands more out there.

I wish you both the best, and hope you can have the family you want.


Thank you all for ur response and for u not looking at us like we r crazy. I don't want to hurt her in any way any more then I already have  I feel like maybe just maybe there is a mistake in my blood work. I still can't understand how after 6 months she is negative. Lease don't get me wrong I am happy she is OK but it just seems ood  to me n who knows how long I have really been pozfor. Is there really no one else out there that is not a lil thrown off by this. I mean we even had unprotectedse before my meds started before n after I found out I was poz with aids yes they consideredme to have aids because of me cd4  and over a million vl. Jan she was beg I waspoz Feb same thing march same thing will test again soon for April but in Nov we started having sex again n I did have sex with anyone but her since then.... please help me understanding no its a great thing that she is OK n I understand that HIV is very hard to pass but we have sex very often n well I'm so confused .....


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