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Sorry - Personal Qualm

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Need a little info.

I am planning to, looking forward to Chicago.  My first encounter. I have concerns about “fitting in,” however.

Here in backwoods Maine, there are no HIV support groups.  And I don’t even know another individual infected with HIV. And while it is likely I’ve been infected from the very early days, half the time I did not know, only to be figured out after 12 years in monogamy and partner being negative.  And the other half of the 28 years, in studies at MGH and NIH.

Just last fall the virus mutated inside me to escape control necessitating therapy. Baby Jesus, and gift to the world egomania, severely and permanently thwarted. . .

I’m really excited, really excited, anticipating to meet others. But I am a bit anxious about fitting in.  I have no personal experience of the struggles and losses that many have had to survive in heart, perhaps not too much in common with others.

But since I found out, I’ve always been doing everything in my power to end this nightmare for all of us. Politically in silence, but always in research.   

Is this a meeting of 20 or 30 individuals, or hundreds?

Is there room for someone like me in Chicago?

I have a kind heart. Even doing things like for the last 30 years making sure every needy family in my county got Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners and toys for the kids . . . even though many I have helped would have strung me up because of my sexual orientation. . .

Although I have “always been here” with this infection, because of a recent change in my status, it is only now, that I am reaching out to others of my kin.  In the past, I’ve done my work and efforts in a different way, research.  No gay community here, just cows.

Now, I need community, communion, and support. And I am so needy to meet others, but I am so fearful to be shunned and ignored and left out, because I do not share the history and intensity and trauma of this disease. . .

Will I be welcome?

Jeff G:
You will fit in just fine and you will make some friends along the way . Willy will be there I think and he eats like a cow so that will make you feel at home .

Kidding aside , you will have a great time there and I think you will find that being different is something most of us have in common ... its called uniqueness and boy does this group fit that description .

I was a bit worried about fitting in for my first AMG too -- it was Boston 4 yrs ago, I think.  Anyway -- the wonderful thing is that there are far more things that "different" about us all than similar.  We all have the virus, of course -- oh hell, some of us have a number of viruses, but I digress.  My point is -- we are really all just a group of very different people who have been pulled together for a singular reason. 
AMG is really a fun time -- you get to put faces to names.  It's amazing that some "matched" for me and some were not even close.  However, I've had a fantastic time at all 3 I've attended.  It is something to look forward to, not to worry about.  We don't bite, well not without consent anyway.

Looking forward to meeting you.


Miss Philicia:
You'll enjoy yourself Fisher, people at AMG are very welcoming and make the extra effort to fit the less shy participants into the many activities. I think you would regret not going.


--- Quote from: bocker3 on April 04, 2013, 10:02:23 PM ---I was a bit worried about fitting in for my first AMG too -- it was Boston 4 yrs ago, I think. 


--- End quote ---

That's because I took you under my wing and took you to a Baseball game... ;)

Fisher you have no need to be worried, the guys will look after you , they really are a great bunch, I have been travelling from New Zealand to the AMG's for the past 6 years, this is the first year I won't be attending...relax and have fun, like Miss P said if you don't go you will end up regretting it.



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