Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits > Mental Health & HIV

Didn't realize how having HIV affected me

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BT65:
Dsh, you need to figure out what it is about you that you do not think others can accept (other than the HIV).  Many of us may have felt "unloveable" at times due to the HIV, but have other personality traits that make us loveable, outweighing any possible bad feelings because of the virus.

I hope you get insurance through your new job and can get into therapy, or at least find your county mental health center, many of which operate on a sliding scale, and get into therapy that way.  It's been four years and it's time for you to move on and stop feeling that others won't want you.  But you have to feel good about yourself to do that.  I know that many times, when I feel others won't accept me, it all comes back to my insecurities, issues I don't feel I've resolved with myself, rather than what others are thinking or feeling.

Good luck.  If you do more soul searching and can talk to a professional therapist I believe you will be fine.

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