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Author Topic: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?  (Read 2777 times)

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Offline stressedboy92

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Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« on: April 03, 2013, 03:30:54 PM »
To start, I am a 21 year-old Male. My anxiety started in overdrive about 6 months ago when I got drunk and had unprotected anal with my now Ex boyfriend. I got my negative result about 4 months later, and everything was fine until about a month ago. I was fooling around with a good friend of mine and I decided to give him a blowjob. Now, he's not very "experienced" (only had anal once, maybe 3 oral partners in his life) and without warning, ejaculated in my mouth and I swallowed. I know that these 'HIV from Oral' questions have been done to death, and I have read almost anything I can find on the subject. I know this forum has a No to little risk stance on the subject, and I understand most of the science, but I can't get over that I have read that there is a fair bit of risk involved here.. But should I be worried? I have a generally healthy mouth, no sores that I know of, and have never had any gum problems to date. I'm just really scared about this. Any advice?

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2013, 03:55:55 PM »
You didn't have a risk in the situation as you described it and here is why .

There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections. I think you can safely move on and put this behind you . 


Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2013, 06:17:31 PM »
Thank you for your reply. I know that this does not mean that I can give multiple blowjobs with multiple partners and not worry about it, but just so I am clear- I can move on from this one incident (and not test) and probably have no real cause for concern?

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2013, 06:29:00 PM »
but just so I am clear- I can move on from this one incident (and not test) and probably have no real cause for concern?

That's correct , you can move on and put this behind you .

Offline stressedboy92

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Hiv risks - negligable or realistic?
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2013, 11:59:28 AM »
Hello everyone! I have posted here in the past in regards to oral sex, but I actually had a few more questions I would like answers to.
I am currently not "sexually active" - in the sense that I haven't had anal intercourse in 5 months, and for my own mental health, probably will not until I am tested with a new partner. I have however, since my negative hiv results I'm February, participated in oral/mutual masturbation acts with 3 different partners.

1) received/gave oral sex to and from another male, no protection, ejaculation took place both ways.
2) received oral from a different male twice.
3) mutual masturbation - with the presence of small cuts on my fingers (that probably came in contact with another male's semen) and I have also anally stimulated him with my fingers.

Situation 3 has been giving me the most level of anxiety as he has recently (about a month ago) been the insertive partner in anal intercourse since his last test. I am mostly concerned with this individual because of this fact. Can I continue my current sex behaviors and not be worried about Hiv in particular?
Under what circumstances is semen on hands/anal fingering a risk?
Can I be sure (as close to 100% as science can get)
that I did not put myself at risk for HIV?

Thanks in advance.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2013, 12:03:59 PM »
Hi Stressed . You are not permitted to start another thread so please keep all of your concerns in this one thread . If you have trouble finding it simply look under your profile and select show own post .

You didn't have risk for HIV in any of the situations you described . 
« Last Edit: April 19, 2013, 12:07:26 PM by Jeff G »

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2013, 05:17:16 PM »
Since my last "scare", I have decided that for my own mental health, I am choosing to not have penetrative sex unless I am fully comfortable with that idea.
Saying that, I engaged in anal frottage (i don't know if i penetrated him..)  with one of the aforementioned partners as before (who I am currently seeing).
We both went for testing a couple days ago (INSTI rapid test) and we both came back negative.. I do know that it has been a little over 6 weeks since HIS last unprotected sexual encounter (anal), and although he is going back for more testing in another six weeks.. Do you guys think that a 6 week negative might be somewhat reassuring that he isn't infected?
Can I feel easy for him?  :-[

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2013, 05:25:02 PM »
** By "I don't know if i penetrated him" I just mean that i was rubbing the head of my penis around the outside of his anus with no actual intention to penetrate. Due to the brevity and the amount of anxiety of said incident, I can't recall if maybe the tip of my penis actually did insert into him. I am sure I would have known, but due to my anxiety, this is most likely a non-existent threat. **

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2013, 05:26:07 PM »
Your friend will need to test 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 nonths to confirm the result .

Anal frottage isn't a risk for HIV . 

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2013, 05:30:37 PM »
Is there any kind of comfort or reassurance in a 6 week test? Would it change?

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #10 on: May 04, 2013, 06:05:59 PM »
I can only reiterate what the testing guidelines are he will need to test 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the result . Its good he got a negative result but its sounds like you just met or you are not sure of his HIV status o begin with .

The thing is , use condoms correctly and consistent  for anal sex and you need not worry about exposure to the HIV virus .





Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #11 on: May 04, 2013, 06:11:37 PM »
I have known him for a while, but I do not know his previous partner since his last test. We will obviously refrain from sex until we're both ready.
As for me being unsure if i "dipped" him (I know this might be a stupid question) but I would have definitely known had I entered him enough for transmission to occur right?
He has told me whenever I bring it up that I didn't. I am just unsure. Related: Has "dipping" ever been known to transmit HIV from a one-time insertive exposure?
Am i really just worrying about my own status for nothing?

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #12 on: May 04, 2013, 06:16:14 PM »
Sorry for so much posting. And I know that you need to have a diplomatic stance on this just to err on the side of caution. But if only going by anecdotal evidence, have you ever seen a 6 week result change by 12 weeks? Assuming we are able to talk personally and relative to one another, because I have read a wealth of info from the CDC.

http://www.bcmj.org/bc-centre-disease-control/don’t-wait-test-hiv

• 20 to 22 days for third-generation enzyme immunoassay (EIA) tests, which detect HIV antibodies.
• 16 to 18 days for fourth-generation EIA tests, which detect p24 antigen and HIV antibodies.

"Point-of-care (or rapid) HIV antibody tests are reactive at the same time or up to 1 week after third-generation EIA tests. (The bioLytical INSTI HIV-1/HIV-2 Antibody Test is the only licensed POC HIV test in Canada. "

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #13 on: May 04, 2013, 06:22:37 PM »
I have known him for a while, but I do not know his previous partner since his last test. We will obviously refrain from sex until we're both ready.
As for me being unsure if i "dipped" him (I know this might be a stupid question) but I would have definitely known had I entered him enough for transmission to occur right?
He has told me whenever I bring it up that I didn't. I am just unsure. Related: Has "dipping" ever been known to transmit HIV from a one-time insertive exposure?
Am i really just worrying about my own status for nothing?

I honestly think you are worried about your status for nothing.

HIV is significantly more difficult to transmit from the receptive partner to the insertive partner, even in full-on start to finish sex.

I doubt you will find any verifiable statistics for "insertive partner dipping/one time exposure" because i'ts an extremely unlikely scenario in the first place.  Very few people would think twice about such an event, let alone bother to test over it.

Your friend is wise to get tested, as unprotected receptive anal sex is a significant risk. However, even if he was infected and has a high viral load, your "risk" was still insignificant.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #14 on: May 04, 2013, 06:35:37 PM »
Thank you both for your replies.

and jkinatl2, thank you for reassuring me. I'm sure I sound totally crazy. Just irrational fears and whatnot. So bottom line here is that I really have no actual possibility of being +?

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #15 on: May 04, 2013, 06:49:33 PM »
Your thinking too hard about , its simple . You know the testing window period , you know to use condoms for penetrative sex ... Until you are in a SECURE monogamous relationship you must correctly use condoms every time and you will not have to worry about this ... it really is that simple .

Its a good thing your BF tested negative , now you must wait till the 3 rd month mark to test again and you will know . 

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #16 on: May 04, 2013, 06:55:43 PM »
If it makes any difference, his last exposure was insertive anal.
But yes, you are right - He does plan on testing out to the guidelines. I was just looking for reassurance on the reliability of his six week test, just to ease my own mind. I'm prepared for the worst, i know nothing is 100%, but I keep seeing that an INSTI at 6 weeks as opposed to 12 is the difference between 95% and 99%.

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #17 on: May 04, 2013, 08:11:39 PM »
anyone?  :-[

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #18 on: May 04, 2013, 08:32:40 PM »
anyone?  :-[

Your questions have been answered to the best of my ability and I can not assign % to a your situation or how your situation applies to the testing window period , there are too many factors involved for any one here to delve into that .

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2013, 01:36:20 AM »
I'm not asking you for an in-depth analysis and precise percentages. I know what has to be done medically. I just wanted an opinion from a human being's point of view. It's not like if you're wrong then anyone would blame you.. I just want an informed opinion.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #20 on: May 05, 2013, 01:45:07 AM »
We have been more than helpful and forthcoming with advice , lose the attitude if you want advice from the other moderators .

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #21 on: May 05, 2013, 02:05:25 AM »
I'm not asking you for an in-depth analysis and precise percentages. I know what has to be done medically. I just wanted an opinion from a human being's point of view. It's not like if you're wrong then anyone would blame you.. I just want an informed opinion.

Like I told you, this whole episode has been a tempest in a teapot. You had a negligible risk but should likely test just for peace of mind.

I cannot imagine being clearer than this. I strongly suggest that you seek counseling for this HIV phobia. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been known to really work well with these situations. No one should have a sexual life as fraught with fear as this.

I respectfully recuse myself from further conversation over this event, which IMHO needed no intervention whatsoever.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2013, 12:26:55 PM »
Hello, it's me again. I will try and be as concise as possible..
I have received amazing support and information on here previously, as well as medhelp. I am very thankful or these resources, but unfortunately I am still dealing with some anxiety from my "no risk event".

I topped a new boyfriend (after we had gotten tested together) but his results may be unreliable due to the fact that he had only waited six weeks since his last unprotected encounter.. And we do plan on getting retested soon.
I am just still concerned over my own health after this incident.
To the best of my knowledge the condom remained intact..
I have been repeatedly told that I would know without a doubt had it broken, and I do not think I am being lied to, I just feel insecure because I still really don't know what the condition of the condom was. There was definitely semen still in it, and (I know I am considered a worry-well) it held water to the best of knowledge.

What do you guys think? I am seeing a therapist for my anxiety in a few weeks also.

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2013, 12:33:28 PM »
Stressed,

You've been around these forums long enough to know the score.

Protected intercourse is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

A broken condom is VERY obvious. You would have KNOWN if it was broken.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Paying a subscription does not mean you no longer have to follow our rules.

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
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Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stressedboy92

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #24 on: June 04, 2013, 01:01:28 PM »
I am sorry Ann. I'm just really scared, and every source I have available tells me "well, your condom could have had a small hole".. It's just really frightening. To your knowledge, this cannot happen, correct?

Online Jeff G

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2013, 01:17:31 PM »
I am sorry Ann. I'm just really scared, and every source I have available tells me "well, your condom could have had a small hole".. It's just really frightening. To your knowledge, this cannot happen, correct?

Your question is a prime example of what Ann warned you about , you have been told before and she just told you again that a broken condom is VERY obvious. You would have KNOWN if it was broken.

You must understand that we do care that you are upset , we get that but if you cant except our risk assessments then there is absolutely nothing we can do to help you .

You didn't have a risk and HIV isn't your problem . I'm sorry you spent your hard earned money for a subscription because we are not going to be able to give you what you need . This is clearly something that you and your therapist need to deal with . 

I'm going to bow out of this thread but I wouldn't be surprised one bit if Ann doesn't give you that time out when she reads this .   

Offline Ann

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Re: Worried about possible exposure.. Anne or Others?
« Reply #26 on: June 04, 2013, 02:12:49 PM »

I'm going to bow out of this thread but I wouldn't be surprised one bit if Ann doesn't give you that time out when she reads this .   

You know me so well! :)

Stressed,

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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