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My boyfriend gave me HIV and I just found out how

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mecch:

--- Quote from: betterdaysahead22 on March 25, 2013, 03:19:38 AM ---Casinokiwi, I'm really sorry about your loss. I think you were really brave to tell your wife, and I regret that she couldn't get past it. But I was hoping to know (if this is too invasive a question I understand), what were you thinking when you did what you did to contract this? I'm trying to get into my boyfriend's head space, and I just can't understand how someone could not even think of someone they supposedly love when doing something so dangerous. I'm sorry if that sounded judgmental, please don't take it as such I'm just trying to understand.

Thank you generally for welcoming me to this community too, by the way!

--- End quote ---

I think Casinokiwi gave you a beautiful reply.

I just wanted to point out a fallacy in your line of thinking, underlined above.  It is very rare, I think, exceedingly rare, for someone to do something "in order to get" HIV.  I don't think that is what you meant - "in order to get it" -- but I was just checking to be sure... 

HIV is an STD or result of needle sharing, maybe even cokespoons or snorting tools, too.   Viruses are passed because there is a transmission route.. People are not doing the things "they do" with the intent to "contract" an annoying virus.  (There maybe a few nihilistic bugchasers out there, but its very rare.) 

I'm sure you know this.  Most people know this.  HIV has absolutely no morals. Its not necessarily a sign of anything whatsoever.   Infidelity is infidelity.  Drug use is drug use.  The world is filled with millions of people who got HIV through no "moral failing" that some people might nevertheless perceive.  Sure, HIV can be transmitted because of poor decisions, risk taking, or not because of such things at all.   

Ann:

--- Quote from: mecch on March 26, 2013, 06:00:18 AM ---
HIV is an STD or result of needle sharing, maybe even cokespoons or snorting tools, too.   


--- End quote ---

Hiv is NOT transmitted through sharing coke-spoons or other snorting tools. Sharing snorting equipment (straws or other tubes in particular) has been implicated in hep C transmission, but NOT hiv transmission. Never ever.


--- Quote from: mecch on March 26, 2013, 06:00:18 AM ---
I just wanted to point out a fallacy in your line of thinking, underlined above.  It is very rare, I think, exceedingly rare, for someone to do something "in order to get" HIV.  I don't think that is what you meant - "in order to get it" -- but I was just checking to be sure... 
 

--- End quote ---

I'm pretty sure she meant "what were you thinking when you took part in an activity known to be a risk for hiv?" Betterdays can clarify this point for us.

I agree with Casino; he most likely wasn't thinking of consequences at all, he was just acting on impulse as we humans are prone to doing.

I know where my partner is concerned, if he had the slightest idea that what he was doing (ie unprotected intercourse) would irrevocably change not only his, but also other people's lives down the line, he never would have done what he did. He would have either passed on the offer of free pussy (to be blunt), or he would have used a condom. I know this because we've had many heart-to-heart talks about all the issues surrounding hiv that impact our relationship. 

mecch:

--- Quote from: Ann on March 26, 2013, 11:00:40 AM ---Hiv is NOT transmitted through sharing coke-spoons or other snorting tools. Sharing snorting equipment (straws or other tubes in particular) has been implicated in hep C transmission, but NOT hiv transmission. Never ever.

--- End quote ---
Oh yes, stupid me, what was I thinking. Sorry!  I got it confounded with Hep C because a few friends in Geneva told me thats how they think they got Hep C.  My bad. Sorry again.

Ann:

--- Quote from: mecch on March 26, 2013, 01:46:18 PM ---Oh yes, stupid me, what was I thinking. Sorry!  I got it confounded with Hep C because a few friends in Geneva told me thats how they think they got Hep C.  My bad. Sorry again.


--- End quote ---

I thought you might have been confuddled, but wanted to correct the mistake for the benefit of all the WWs - on both sides of the fence. :)

betterdaysahead22:
"I'm pretty sure she meant "what were you thinking when you took part in an activity known to be a risk for hiv?" Betterdays can clarify this point for us. "

Yes Ann that's what I meant, I can understand the confusion though. I knew my boyfriend wasn't trying to hurt anyone at all, if anything what happened was a reflection of his fundamental altruism - he wanted to believe the best of people. It is my opinion that the drug dealer, or Justin as he said his name was, actually switched the needles in an attempt to get my boyfriend sick, and it has been much cause for debate between us and his friends as to whether we should try to find said person and bring them to legal justice.

However Justin doesn't live near us anymore, and is probably infecting countless others with the security of his anonymity. Obviously I think his actions are criminal, but it's my boyfriend's actions that I still can't truly fathom. While his trust in the goodness of people is in part why I love him so much, I can't understand the blatant stupidity of chasing down free drugs. He said he didn't realise how "bad he'd gotten" until he was sitting in our bathroom injecting himself with speed in the company of a scary looking drug dealer.

I guess I was hoping someone who has used speed at any point can clarify this for me. I'm still grappling with the idea that a drug could be so good that you'd invite a virtual stranger into the home you share with your girlfriend in order to consume it int he most dangerous way possible. So far the only justifications I have were that he was half asleep and would never have agreed to it if he was in his right state of mind, but that the functioning part of his brain was thinking that since he hadn't done it in about a year, had never injected and because it was free it would be the ideal "one last time."

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