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New Member, just got my results

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Welcome to the forums, theres a ton of great information on here. I'm in NYC too and was diagnosed in September. I started going to a support group for newly diagnosed gay guys in their 20's that was really helpful. There's lots of great resources here in the city so it's not a bad place to be if you're positive. Sorry to hear about you dx but glad you're getting the help you need!

Hey everyone! Thanks for the replies.

Slowly but surely I've been feeling better. Granted, I'm becoming a hardcore pothead which does worry me a bit. Otherwise, I've been eating healthy, drinking less alcohol and more water, and exercising. I still haven't talked to anyone I know besides my Dr. but reading about it online has helped.

I see my Dr next monday and we'll go over what meds I need. The following week I see a psychiatrist and that should be interesting since I'm horrible at talking about issues and tend to convince others I'm fine even when I'm not. Part of me feels like I won't be honest and instead say what I think they want me to say. I guess i'm afraid they'll put me on additional drugs and that makes me uncomfortable. At the same time, I think I smoke so much pot because I'm self-medicating. I look forward to taking meds for hiv but not for being crazy and I'm sure I'll get diagnosed with something.

good thing you live in NYC, there must lots of support groups. when i learned my test result almost 1 year ago, i was devastated and wished for a group therapy, just to hear how other people lived through that horrible days. but you seem to doing good for a starter.

Hey Gavel,

Sorry about the diagnosis, but you've come to a good place.  I tested positive in September and it's been a roller coaster ride.  There's tons of information out there but don't overwhelm yourself!  It's actually incredibly brave for you to seek out medical and psychological help so quickly, it's going to do you a world of good. 

Like you, I'm not one to express my feelings and inner thoughts well, especially in a face-to-face meeting with a stranger, but they are there to help you.  In fact, they WANT to help you, and if they were referred to you by your doctor (who is, I'm assuming, experienced in hiv treatment), they've dealt with what you're going through.  Be honest about what you're feeling. 

What I did the first couple of weeks after my diagnosis, I started a journal.  Yeah it sounds cheesy, but it's incredibly therapeutic.  It helps you really wrestle with some of your thoughts, especially if you haven't told anyone yet, and that gives you a chance to get more comfortable with what you're feeling before you talk to the psychiatrist.  Plus, in the months since, it's been nice to go back to those first entries, hear the darkness I was in, and realize just how far I've come.

Best of luck with your doctor on Monday, keep us posted. 

Good health, hope, and love,

I second the journal idea. Just after I was diagnosed I poured EVERYTHING out onto paper, it helped unburden myself of so much darkness and depression. I did think I would go back to it but haven't felt the need recently.


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