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Author Topic: Scared and guilty  (Read 1003 times)

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Offline nik123

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  • Posts: 3
Scared and guilty
« on: March 17, 2013, 05:22:37 AM »
Hi All,

I am really scared and worried about an incident which happened almost a month ago, It has been 31 days now. I was in Vegas got intoxicated and took a girl to my room and we had sex. She was a csw I believe, she charged me money, I picked her up from the casino floor, she seems to be +ve or at least on the higher risk side she was black and had a bad smell from her vainal area, which I suspect may be coz of Bacterial vaginosis, which I read later in the forums.

I kissed her on the way to the room and we had protected sex in the room, she gave me oral and I entered her vagina, with Condom for protection. I was intoxicated and never really cared about what was happening. I am a married guy, happily for the past 10 years, and never has such a situation happened to me, and now I am deeply in guilt coz of this incident, I have no been able to sleep properly and cant have sex with my wife too coz I am really scared and don't want to spoil her life. I cant stand this feeling and reading all these forums I feel even more scared.

To summarize the incident: We kissed, I had dry and chapped lips with possible cuts due to dryness., then she gave me oral with Condom and then I went inside her vagina with condom and she finished off by giving oral to me. I may have tried fingering her but she did not allow and I have touched her vaginal area. Next day I remember I had some small cuts and broken skin under my nails and on my finger which happened while I was doing my nails the previous day. I remember not putting my finger too deep in coz she dint allow me and also I am sure the condom did not break. Though I did not check if it had any small pores. I believe if condoms break they completely break

My Question is;
1.What are the possibilities I may get infected with the above incident?

2.I am planning to do a test, which test should I take at say around 6th or 8th week? I was suggested HIV 1 & 2 Antibodies ( Elisa ) is this sufficient or should I take any other test?

3. How conclusive can the test be at 8 weeks?

4. I don't seem to have any visible symptoms although I feel like scratchy throat and swollen lymph nodes and rashes, which I am not sure are any related to this or whether I am just assuming the scratchy throat and swollen lymph nodes.

5. If the condom was intact, as I believe it to be, although exposing mid to the bottom half of the penis when I went weak during vaginal, what are the chances of me getting infected?

6. Does fingering pose any risk with very small wounds on the finger? I don't think I fingered her deep in, but touched her vaginal area.

7. She had a really bad smell which I could get even after being intoxicated, I got it as soon as she pulled down her trousers and she never wore an underwear. What could the reason be? Does this make her having a higher chance of HIV+?

Please answer me.

Thanks and god bless.
Nik
« Last Edit: March 17, 2013, 05:41:39 AM by nik123 »

Offline nik123

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Re: Scared and guilty
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2013, 05:32:51 AM »
To add to the above, I am really not sure about the condom I used, the type brand or name. The hotel room in  which I was saying had a box called "intimacy kit" at the mini bar which had condoms and other things in it and I used this and paid for it later. $45 per kit though I used only a single condom form the kit, and I trust it should be a good brand and make.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2013, 05:37:04 AM by nik123 »

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Scared and guilty
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2013, 06:30:04 AM »
Nik,

The only problem you have here is your guilt over having strayed from your marriage. Nothing you did or had done to you was a risk for hiv infection.

1. As I said, no risk, no possibility you were infected with hiv.

Kissing is not a risk - and getting a blowjob is also not a risk for the same reason.

The reason you weren't at risk during these activities is that saliva is NOT infectious. Not only is it not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

Before you ask the inevitable question about blood in her mouth, unless you're in the habit of repeatedly punching a person in the mouth before they kiss or blow you, then there could not possibly be enough blood present to cause the least bit of concern.

Fingering is also not a risk for hiv infection, regardless of any cuts, hangnails or whatever on your fingers. Not one person has ever been infected through fingering and you're not going to be the first.

2. You do not need to test for hiv specifically over anything that happened that night in the hotel room.

When there has been a risk (you did NOT have a risk), the earliest one should test is at six weeks. The vast majority who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days - when there has actually been a risk. YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK.

When there has actually been a risk (YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK),  a six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point but is highly unlikely to change.

3. An eight week negative (when there has actually been a risk - YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK) is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at the three month point.

4. If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with a virus for which you have NOT BEEN AT RISK.

5. The only part of the penis where hiv transmission/infection can take place is the head of the penis, not the shaft. As long as the head of your penis was covered, you were protected.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

6. I've already covered the fact that fingering is NOT a risk. (See answer #1.)

7. Hiv does not make a woman's genitals smell bad. Regardless of the cause of the bad smell (whether it was an infection or just plain old being unwashed), it does not change a single thing about your NO RISK level for hiv infection.

As for your condom question in your second post - any hotel that supplies kits like you describe are NOT going to put anything other than normal latex condoms in them. Latex condoms are the least expensive and most effective condoms available.

As you yourself noted earlier, if the condom had broken, you WOULD have known about it. Broken condoms are NOT about tiny holes or "pores" - a broken condom would look like a fringe of latex hanging off your dick. It's obvious!!!

The whole "tiny holes in condoms" thing is a myth put out mainly by the Catholic church who were trying to scare people away from using condoms, because we all know the Catholic church wants their members to have as many children as possible, because more bums on pews means more money in their coffers. And more altar boys to molest.

Short answer? You're worrying about hiv for no good reason. Dump the guilt overboard - shit happens. And when shit happens in Vegas, it's supposed to stay in Vegas. Let go of this, forgive yourself and move on with your life.

For future reference, here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER ANY OF THE ACTIVITIES THAT NIGHT IN VEGAS, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline nik123

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  • Posts: 3
Re: Scared and guilty
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2013, 07:09:28 AM »
Thank you Ann for the quick reply. It does make me feel a lot better, as you said I am not able to overcome the guilt, I don't believe myself doing this, It has never happened in my life, and I am going to make sure it will never again. Abstenism is the best way to keep you safe and guilt free, be trustworthy to you partner however unsatisfied you are and don't look for trouble.

If I am to take the test which test should I take? Elisa 3rd generation or DUO fourth gen or both?

You mentioned about a study report on Condoms and its effectiveness, do you have any further details or links to the same?

How many people have visible symptoms after possible infection and when do they start to appear and how long? Any valid studies about this?



Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Scared and guilty
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2013, 07:58:58 AM »

If I am to take the test which test should I take? Elisa 3rd generation or DUO fourth gen or both?


Both are accurate, reliable tests, neither of which you need as YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION. Even if you did have a risk (you did NOT have a risk), either test would be just as good as the other.

We do NOT discuss symptoms here. Neither symptoms nor even the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing at the appropriate time will.

If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with hiv.

As far as you are concerned, you ONLY need testing if that's the only thing that will enable you to put this NO HIV RISK situation behind you.

However, you may want to test for all of the other, MUCH more easily transmitted STI infections. They can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

But you're worrying about hiv needlessly. Seriously.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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