Quantcast
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
December 05, 2016, 09:07:43 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 29666
  • Latest: Box
Stats
  • Total Posts: 704464
  • Total Topics: 56076
  • Online Today: 289
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ pages, including our "HIV Transmission and Risks" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" basics, will remain accessible to all.

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: I'm losing my mind...please help me...  (Read 1472 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline goingcrazi

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
I'm losing my mind...please help me...
« on: August 15, 2015, 03:55:09 PM »
2 weeks ago I made the mistake of hooking up with a stranger. I met up with him at a video store, and to make the long story short we had unprotected sex. Stupid of me because I had a condom, but didn't use it...we were both verse, he stuck it in for a while, but I felt uneasy so I stopped him, I paused for a second because I wanted to leave, but felt stuck.

I asked him if he was "clean" (instead of asking him if he was HIV negative--another mistake) he said he was good. I took his word for it and in the heat of the moment he bent over and pushed back against my penis. I ejaculated inside him, I tried to pull out but it all happened so fast. As we left the booth, I asked him if he came inside me because it felt wet, and he said it was just spit.

He hadn't ejaculated, so he went inside another booth and with the help of another guy he came.

As I left I had a feeling of guilt and disgust, still do. I messaged him on kik the next day because I wanted to ask him if he was HIV negative (a bit late, but I still wanted an answer) he read the messages, never replied, and when I tried to message him again, I realized he deleted his account. This is where my fear began. It was at a bad time too because I was leaving out of town to visit some friends in another state, but now I had this in the back of my mind.

A few days later (still stressed about this situation) I went out of state to visit my friends. While I was out there, 2 of them decided to go and get tested for STD's (exactly a week after the hook-up, and even more alarming to me after what I was already dealing with). I was so scared, I didn't want to go, and kept asking if this was a sign of something bad. I get tested for HIV every 3-5 months, but I hadn't tested for STDs in over a year, so I was very nervous but I did it anyways.

I flew back into town a few days later and got a call from the clinic out of state. They told me all the results came back negative, but I had contracted rectal chlamydia.

My reaction wasn't drastic because deep down I had a feeling something was wrong. While visiting my friends, I had a case of diarrhea, wasn't bad, but it was slightly painful, not sure if this is something I had and didn't know about, or if the man gave it to me. I quickly went to a clinic and got my antibiotics. In 6 weeks, I have a follow up appointment to make sure they antibiotics worked.

I'm very scared because I fear that if he gave me chlamydia, he might have given me HIV, especially since he never answered me and deleted his kik account.

I keep looking up symptoms, and fear that the diarrhea wasn't due to chlamydia, but to a an HIV infection.

I've been crying so much the past couple of days, I'm trying to remain optimistic, but it's so hard. I'm a strong believer of Karma, and I feel like this is Karma coming around full circle for the selfish decisions I've made.

 :'(

Online Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 29,918
Re: I'm losing my mind...please help me...
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2015, 04:01:13 PM »
Forget about karma and all the guilt stuff. Yes, you made a dumb, impulsive decision which put you at risk for HIV. You can test initially at 6 weeks. If you get a negative result for HIV, then in all likelihood you will test negative again (conclusively) at 3 months. It's in your favor that this was a one-time happening.

Having chlamydia is not an HIV-specific occurence. Just get it treated. It's a very common STD.

Learn from this experience. You can have all the anal sex you want to. Just do it the safer way which means the insertive partner always needs to be wearing a condom.

Good luck with your test results.
Andy Velez

Offline goingcrazi

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: I'm losing my mind...please help me...
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2015, 04:16:02 PM »
Forget about karma and all the guilt stuff. Yes, you made a dumb, impulsive decision which put you at risk for HIV. You can test initially at 6 weeks. If you get a negative result for HIV, then in all likelihood you will test negative again (conclusively) at 3 months. It's in your favor that this was a one-time happening.

Having chlamydia is not an HIV-specific occurence. Just get it treated. It's a very common STD.

Learn from this experience. You can have all the anal sex you want to. Just do it the safer way which means the insertive partner always needs to be wearing a condom.

Good luck with your test results.

What do you mean by "It's in your favor that this was a one-time happening"?

Also, what about the diarrhea symptoms I had a few days after?

Offline Joe K

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 5,820
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: I'm losing my mind...please help me...
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2015, 04:32:11 PM »
What we mean is you only had this one risk, which is in your favor, as opposed to multiple risks.  You cannot tell by symptoms what your status is and nothing you mention is specific to HIV.

Joe 

Offline goingcrazi

  • Standard
  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: I'm losing my mind...please help me...
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2015, 05:29:15 PM »
Hey guys..

It's been 5 weeks, I've been trying as hard as I can to stay cool and not be depressed over this situation as they noticed at work that I wasn't my usual charismatic self. My supervisor even went as far as suggesting I find someone to talk to.

Since that day I've used the expression "fake it, till I make it" and I've been acting a lot happier at work, but truth is, deep inside I am so scared.

I wandered into the other forums and read a few stories that really have me shaken up.

I haven't had any symptoms (that I can tell), but it's planted in the back of my mind that I might have contracted HIV.

I'm so scared, I'm waiting till next week to test (it'll be the 6th week), but I don't know if maybe I should test now, even though I know I should wait the 3 months.

I'm so frightened.  :'(

Offline Jeff G

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 17,061
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I'm losing my mind...please help me...
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2015, 05:43:09 PM »
You can read about testing here http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/HIVtests_5029.shtml

Test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months. If you are having anxiety please talk to your doctor about it. I would also strongly advise that you avoid sitting on the internet googling and looking up HIV topics . Go do something you enjoy and the time between now and your test will go by faster.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2016 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.