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Author Topic: Going crazy!!  (Read 1748 times)

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Offline scared_guy

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Going crazy!!
« on: March 09, 2013, 05:34:14 PM »
Hi People,

First of all I want to say you have a great forum and your help and knowledge is really appreciated!

Don't really know where to begin...so I just start.

I'm 25 year old gay male and I have a few questions. I hope you can provide me with some much needed info and help.

I have always thought I was very careful with safe sex, but I'm not so sure anymore.
I had this encounter with a guy who is very into kinky stuff and he tried it on me...I was curious and scared, but I gave in (something I really regret now!).
There was no anal penetration, but he used a variety of sex-toys on me. And I'm so scared I had a big risk.

We did electro-sex, where he put a buttplug in my anus and a very small pin (I think they call it a sound or something) in my urethra. Not all the way down, probably just haf a centimetre or one centimetre.

I don't really know what it was or how to call it, but it was very small (not like the ones you see in the picture if you google it). Of course I asked if he cleaned everything ( he told me, he did) and whether it was safe . He is really experienced...but still I'm so nervous and scared. He told me the HIV can't live outside the body on a toy or such a pin. But what if somebody else's blood was on it...I didn't see that, but you never know.

That thing was not far in my urethra, but I'm very scared I had a big risk. I did catch a UTI (urinary tract infection) because of it , but that's gone now...since I have used antibiotics. I went to the doctors. I didn't dare to ask for my other risk...

I have asked him over and over again if he cleans all his toys, and he insists he does. But how could I then catch the UTI? And is my risk for HIV even bigger since I had that UTI?

I know this is quite a weird story, but I really hope you guys can help me!!!

I'm scared to even post this, but I know I have to.
I would like to hear your opinions

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Going crazy!!
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2013, 05:48:00 PM »
Hi Guy . I read your concerns very carefully and have concluded that you did NOT have a risk for HIV in any of the activity's you described .

The information about HIV surviving outside the confines of the human body is correct , small changes in temperature and oxygen render HIV unable to infect so you were never in danger of exposure .

Its safe for you to move on without fear and put this out of your mind now . If you use condoms consistently and correctly for vaginal and anal sex you will avoid exposure to HIV . Remember the fact that other STD's are much easier to pick up than HIV , so if you aren't doing so already its best to have a full sexual health checkup at least once a year that includes HIV testing . 

Offline scared_guy

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Re: Going crazy!!
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2013, 06:14:23 PM »
Thanks for your answer Jeff G.
Are you really sure?
Because what I don't understand, how can somebody for example contract hiv from a used needle during doing drugs?  That needle has been in touch with oxygen, so how is it able to infect?

maybe I'm just over analyzing....And in my case your saying I was not in risk of exposure to hiv, but I was in risks for other std's?But NOT hiv?

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Going crazy!!
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2013, 06:25:40 PM »
Thanks for your answer Jeff G.
Are you really sure?
Because what I don't understand, how can somebody for example contract hiv from a used needle during doing drugs?  That needle has been in touch with oxygen, so how is it able to infect?

maybe I'm just over analyzing....And in my case your saying I was not in risk of exposure to hiv, but I was in risks for other std's?But NOT hiv?

The bore of a hypodermic needle when full of blood is in fact a low oxygen vacuum and that's why the freshly drawn blood inside a syringe while sharing needles is a perfect environment for HIV exposures .

The conditions that were present when you share a sex toy are vastly diffrent than what one would encounter while sharing injection equipment . You didn't have a risk for HIV .   

Offline Ann

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Re: Going crazy!!
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2013, 06:08:53 AM »

In order for there to be a risk for hiv infection when sharing drug injecting equipment, the needle needs to be shared immediately after the other person has used it. Drug needles are hollow bore and the type of "needles" used for electrical stimulation are not.

In other words, the type of "needles" (more often referred to as a "probes", if memory serves) are NOT hollow bore. It's only hollow-bore needles (such as used for injecting purposes) that provide a place for hiv to remain viable and able to infect, and even then, only for a short period of time.

You also need to understand that most bacteria are MUCH more robust than hiv and can remain viable and able to infect outside the body, UNLIKE hiv. UTIs are bacterial infections, not viral.

Also, the irritation inside your urethra caused by the play you engaged in could be enough to cause the UTI you experienced as irritated membranes are much more susceptible to ordinary bacteria found in the everyday environment.

I hope you're aware that we are completely surrounded by bacteria in and on our skin at any given time, unless you live in a medically controlled bubble environment.

I have a suggestion for you: If you ever decide to take part in this type of play again in future, wash the toys yourself before they are used on you - and make sure you wash your hands and he also washes his hands before play commences. 

Any understanding partner won't mind you doing this. Sure, they may want to supervise you while you do so (just to make sure you're not damaging his - or her! - toys), but any person who really has your best interest - and pleasure - at heart will allow this.

You should also wash dildos or probes if you're going to use them immediately after another person. This is NOT due to any hiv concern, it's due to reducing the possibility of transmitting bacterial infections like chlamydia or gonorrhea. If it's inconvenient to wash a dildo between people, put a condom on it.

There's nothing wrong with this type of play, provided it is also something you're interested in and it's not being forced on you. So please make sure your hiv fears are not based in shame or embarrassment over taking part in sex play that is a little on the "kinky" side. Kinky can be good, pleasurable, fun and SAFE. Did I mention FUN and PLEASURABLE?

Just to make myself perfectly clear, no, you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection during this out-of-the-ordinary play session.

While you're here, and for future reference, here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER THIS PLAY SESSION, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

By the way, if you go to a sexual health clinic as opposed to a GP, you're not going to have to explain why you want a full panel of STI testing. All they need (and usually all they want) to know is that you're sexually active. You don't have to give them a blow-by-blow (no pun intended) account of your activities.

GPs can be a little more nosy, probably because they don't often come across (again, no pun intended ;D ) details of kinky sex play. Sexual health clinics have heard it all before.

Kinky play can be very pleasurable and add a whole new dimension to your sex play. Provided the kinky play is agreed upon by BOTH parties, there's nothing wrong with it. Just make sure any toys or other props are clean, because you're much more likely to end up with a bacterial infection than a viral one like hiv. Hiv really is a difficult virus to transmit.

All you need to do is to make sure condoms are being used when the kinky play leads to penile-anal or penile-vaginal penetration, whether you're the top or bottom when the penetration takes place.

Please don't feel ashamed or let that shame lead to unwarranted hiv fears. Lots of people - hiv negative as well as hiv positive - enrich their sex lives through a bit of kinky play now and then. Make sure the toys are washed first to avoid bacterial infections, then relax and enjoy your session.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!


edited for clarity
« Last Edit: March 10, 2013, 06:36:19 AM by Ann »
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

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Offline scared_guy

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Re: Going crazy!!
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2013, 09:42:37 AM »
Thanks again Jeff!

And Ann, thank you so much for your very detailed information!
I know that I have serious (unwarranted) HIV fears... and that's really complicated (maybe because of shame...I don't really know).
The very few times I did have anal sex I have been very scared that the condom broke without me noticing it. The very few times I did do that we very quick (only a few minutes) and I used lube and everything (and didn't even cum). So I should know that it's very unlikely that the condom broke. I was the top, so I should have felt/saw/noticed it.

Still this is something which I can worry about.... ( as I noticed I'm not the only one here). 
I did read your condom tips (about "the stroke" etc.) and I think they are very helpful.

Thanks again for your time! It means a lot


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