Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 28, 2014, 05:04:48 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 23060
  • Latest: Creme
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632125
  • Total Topics: 47863
  • Online Today: 257
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: How do you deal with ignorance?  (Read 1440 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline TabooPrincess

  • Member
  • Posts: 279
How do you deal with ignorance?
« on: March 09, 2013, 02:12:51 AM »
So we were talking at work about the recent case with the baby.  One of my colleagues (female) said 'I can't believe any woman would ever have a baby knowing they were hiv positive, it's the most selfish thing I could ever imagine from a woman.'

I went into full on education mode, giving statistics.  Adding that in 18 years our city has never had a positive baby from women getting treatment.

She continued on that if that were her she would remain child-less all her life as she couldn't take that small risk. 

She was horrible about it.

First I wanted to punch her in the face and afterwards came away feeling pretty rubbish about myself.  I know it's just ignorance and people who haven't been there will never understand.

I had my baby in the full knowledge that there was a very tiny, but possible, risk of infection.  So I guess she's right, that is selfish?
09/ 2008 - Seroconversion
11/2008 - Tested pos, cd4 640 vl 25400
12/2008 - cd4 794 vl 27798, 35%
03/2009 - cd4 844 vl 68846, 35%
06/2009 - cd4 476 vl 49151, 33% (pregnancy confirmed)
08/2009 - cd4 464 vl 54662, 32%
Started meds for pregnancy (Kaletra, AZT, Viread)
09/2009 - cd4 841 vl 3213, 42%
10/2009 - cd4 860 vl 1088, 41%
11/2009 - cd4 771 vl 563, 38%
12/2009 - cd4 885 vl 151 42%
Discontinued meds after baby born
02/2010 - cd4 841 vl 63781, 38%
05/2010 - cd4 1080 vl 113000, 39%
08/2010 - cd4 770 vl 109242
12/2010 - cd4 642 vl 111000, 34%
06/2011 - cd4 450 vl 222000, 33%
11/2011 - cd4 419 vl 212000, 24%
03/2012 - cd4 280 vl 118000, 26% (repeated Cd4 at 360)
05/2012 -cd4 360 vl 99,190
10/2012 Atripla, cd4 690, vl 80
12/2012 Darunavir, norvir, truvada, Cd4 680, vl u/d
07/2013 cd4 750,ud

Offline Larsen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2013, 06:46:02 AM »
The problem with the people who smear this sort of thing as selfish is that they are more often than not also the people who object to contraception and abortion. To my mind, given the state of science, it is no more selfish for an HIV-positive woman to want a child than it is for a mother who, knowing that the result will make no difference to her choices about the pregnancy, decides against an amniocentesis diagnostic test to assess whether the foetus could develop, or has developed, an abnormality or serious health condition .. or, for that matter, any more selfish than me having my sperm washed in order to father a child.

It is a personal choice and it is no-one else's business. End of story as far as I am concerned.

I'd venture to suggest that the overwhelming majority of people who are living with a congenital disorder / disease would, if asked, rather be alive and facing adversity, than have been aborted (and that isn't a comment on the rights or wrongs of abortion, which, as we all know, is equally about the rights of the mother). I'm pretty sure the same would go for children born with HIV.
In a far better p[lace than this minging shithole

Offline Larsen

  • Member
  • Posts: 41
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2013, 06:56:30 AM »
On a slightly pedantic note, the mother didn't actually know that she was HIV-positive. She wasn't diagnosed until she was in hospital and in premature labour. This is more the story of a broken healthcare system than it is selfishness - real or imagined - on the part of one individual.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2013, 07:07:18 AM by Larsen »
In a far better p[lace than this minging shithole

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,335
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2013, 07:56:05 AM »
Ask this woman how she feels about people who unwittingly pass along Huntington's or mental disorders. Too bad you can t ask her how she feels about passing along stupidity. Oh why not bait her and ask about the 60 year old who had twins? Ultimately you get to walk  away smirkin' that you have a neg kid and an open mind.

Offline TabooPrincess

  • Member
  • Posts: 279
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2013, 10:27:06 AM »
She doesn't know my status - I always find it interesting to hear people bang on and not even realise they're offending you to your face.

I'm frustrated about it though.  I'm sure less than 50% of women actually PLAN to get pregnant, sometimes it's reckless, mental health issues, substance misuse, alcohol (as in my own case) and as you say some women don't find out until they're pregnant that they're positive.

I think I speak for most of the women here that one of the biggest fears when diagnosed is that they'll never be able to have children.  Every woman should have the chance to have a child in my opinion.  I don't think I was complete as a person until I had my son.
09/ 2008 - Seroconversion
11/2008 - Tested pos, cd4 640 vl 25400
12/2008 - cd4 794 vl 27798, 35%
03/2009 - cd4 844 vl 68846, 35%
06/2009 - cd4 476 vl 49151, 33% (pregnancy confirmed)
08/2009 - cd4 464 vl 54662, 32%
Started meds for pregnancy (Kaletra, AZT, Viread)
09/2009 - cd4 841 vl 3213, 42%
10/2009 - cd4 860 vl 1088, 41%
11/2009 - cd4 771 vl 563, 38%
12/2009 - cd4 885 vl 151 42%
Discontinued meds after baby born
02/2010 - cd4 841 vl 63781, 38%
05/2010 - cd4 1080 vl 113000, 39%
08/2010 - cd4 770 vl 109242
12/2010 - cd4 642 vl 111000, 34%
06/2011 - cd4 450 vl 222000, 33%
11/2011 - cd4 419 vl 212000, 24%
03/2012 - cd4 280 vl 118000, 26% (repeated Cd4 at 360)
05/2012 -cd4 360 vl 99,190
10/2012 Atripla, cd4 690, vl 80
12/2012 Darunavir, norvir, truvada, Cd4 680, vl u/d
07/2013 cd4 750,ud

Offline DrewEm

  • Member
  • Posts: 53
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2013, 12:49:51 AM »
I had a coworker like that - all high and mighty and preachy. She railed against anyone who was less than stellar having children.

At age 36 she and her husband finally conceived - they had been trying for a decade.

An amniocentesis revealed the child had a risk for Turner's Syndrome.

She still went through with the pregnancy though she left before the child was born.

Again, a lack of education often guides many people who are not in the situation to pontificate.

Offline Lane

  • Member
  • Posts: 10
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2013, 08:49:33 AM »
I do not think it is selfish for a woman who is poz to want to have a child. Yes you are infected but i still think that women who are poz still deserve to be loved and cherish and eperience the same joy that a neg woman experience. I have come to understand that neg ppl never really try to put themselves in the other shoes and wonder how they would feel, if they were poz and someone behaved like that around them. I urge you to raise your child to be an understanding human being when it comes to these matters because i think it is the proliferation of myths and stigma that make some ppl not come forward for early testing and why some do not go for treatment because they are scared of what others might do or say.This world needs more empathic ppl cause it would be a better place. Live your life make the most of it.

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,375
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2013, 10:04:55 AM »
I have come to understand that neg ppl never really try to put themselves in the other shoes

Really?  Is this an example of proliferating of a myth?  I know many neg folk who totally emphasize with our struggles. 

Wolfie
productivity breeds content

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,240
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2013, 06:43:57 PM »
So we were talking at work about the recent case with the baby.  One of my colleagues (female) said 'I can't believe any woman would ever have a baby knowing they were hiv positive, it's the most selfish thing I could ever imagine from a woman.'

I went into full on education mode, giving statistics.  Adding that in 18 years our city has never had a positive baby from women getting treatment.

She continued on that if that were her she would remain child-less all her life as she couldn't take that small risk. 

She was horrible about it.

First I wanted to punch her in the face and afterwards came away feeling pretty rubbish about myself.  I know it's just ignorance and people who haven't been there will never understand.

I had my baby in the full knowledge that there was a very tiny, but possible, risk of infection.  So I guess she's right, that is selfish?

You were not selfish. She is not right.  She's a close-minded limited IQ bigot.  Don't waste your time after the generous 10 or 20 minute education.  If she can't digest facts, she's a lost cause, not worth more time, and not worth worrying over.  The world is filled with such bird brains.  They're particularly annoying when self-righteous, or if they possess any power.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Flugufrelsarinn

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2013, 05:50:05 PM »
If I can't get through to them, I take a last effort and tell them that I have researched the subject, and that I am positive - straight up.  It usually shuts them up, and generally makes them feel sorry for you; that is usually undeserved phrase/bashing.
þetta er ágætis byrjun.

Offline LiveWithIt

  • Member
  • Posts: 377
Re: How do you deal with ignorance?
« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2013, 05:46:07 AM »
I ignore it.  It's their problem not yours.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.