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Author Topic: First scare; how worried should (or shouldn't) I be?  (Read 851 times)

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Offline kiete

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  • Posts: 2
First scare; how worried should (or shouldn't) I be?
« on: March 08, 2013, 10:33:43 PM »
My partner and I discovered his HIV status several years ago and have been living as a happy sero-discordant couple ever since.  Yesterday we had our first 'scare' when a small amount of his semen got in my mouth during oral sex.

I don't have any mouth sores or cuts and I assured my partner that the risks were low, but his worry makes ME worry.  I called my GP for advice but her nurse-assistant didn't even suggest PEP... In fact she was rather too blasé about the whole thing.

My regular 6 month checkup is in the middle of April, too soon to be a definitive 'no'... So that's why I am here, looking to see how high/low the risks are and any helpful suggestions with dealing with the worry when it crops up.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: First scare; how worried should (or shouldn't) I be?
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2013, 12:42:04 AM »
There are two possibilities here:

A) If your boyfriend is not on meds and has a huge viral load, there is a theoretical risk. It's called theoretical because each and every study of serodiscordant couples who used condoms for penetrative anal/vaginal sex but ZERO barriers for oral sex yielded ZERO transmissions.

B) If your boyfriend IS on meds and his viral load is low/undetectable, the risk was the same as sucking him with a condom.

Obviously, if your partner falls in situation A, then the negligible and impossible to quantify with no "in vivo" data risk is yours to decide upon.

If your partner falls within category B) you likely owe him about seven hundred blow jobs.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline kiete

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  • Posts: 2
Re: First scare; how worried should (or shouldn't) I be?
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2013, 10:14:18 AM »
I appreciate your candor jkinatl2.  I should have mentioned in my original posting that my partner is on a trifecta of meds and his latest results have him at undetectable levels and a CD4 over 400 (though I'm not sure if CD4 is directly related to infection rates)

Obviously we're still going to test at my 6-month checkup in April, and then again a few months later; but I'm going to do my best not to worry and fret.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: First scare; how worried should (or shouldn't) I be?
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2013, 11:14:25 AM »
Even as I understand and appreciate the efforts you two make to protect your negative status, I want to say again what JK told you, your risk was really only theoretical. Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV.

There have been 3 longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight. There were lots of variations on unprotected oral sex and only protected vaginal and anal intercourse. Not one HIV negative partner became infected.

You do not need to test beyond 3 months after the incident. And testing is strictly for your peace of mind because I would not consider what you had to actually be a real risk.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

 


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