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Less than 2 weeks since positive diagnoses

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Just want to give you some reassurance. I also tested positive in a foreign country and continent, in a totally different culture than my own far away from family and friends. First time was ROUGH, I mean like hardship I never faced before. But with time it slowly got better, and a part of that was these forums, knowledge is power!

I really do understand what you feel like and the thoughts running through your head at this time, but believe and take comfort in that you will get through this and come out more than ok :)   

Yes, you can imagine how your family will take the news and react to the "new you".  Based on your family history, or your culture. But, please don't bet on being right... Families are surprising.  Also, sometimes they say one thing, publicly, in accord with cultural norms or family tradition, then act differently in private...  Right?

Concentrate on yourself, and accepting yourself, and put all the family stuff on the back burner if you can.  This might not seem natural, to you, I dunno.  This insistence on the individual.  But you don't necessarily have to disclose to them now..  All in good time.

When you feel strong and accepting about yourself, this might make a difference in how your family perceives the news, anyway.  People do feed off others energy. 

That said, a good rule for living well with HIV is to evacuate ALL shame about the disease from one's own mind.  Other people's reactions are their shit, their problem.  Yeah, they can make it difficult for us.  Or, they might not... But its ALL their shit.  Even if its family. Even if its loved ones. Even if you think you have responsibilities to them, whatever they are.  Its all their shit, and you are responsible only to yourself and you can make yourself happy, content, successful, and healthy.

I realise not all cultures nor all family traditions leave a lot of room for individual destiny.  But if, god forbid, worst case scenario, your family were to judge you or make something needlessly difficult, a concentration on the individual would be the route to successful living. And they might not react the way you are expecting, anyway. 


--- Quote from: Ann on February 26, 2013, 08:03:26 AM ---False positive results can and do happen to gay men all the time. The test doesn't know your sexual orientation and being gay does not automatically mean you're going to end up with hiv.

ANYONE who has had a preliminary positive test result MUST have that result confirmed - or ruled out - with further testing.

--- End quote ---


Actonye, you will smile again. Believe me.

Do you have a support network in place? Not family obviously (if you want they need never know, at at least not until you're ready to tell them) but a few good friends. They'll make all the difference and will help you rebuild your confidence.

I get what you say about mourning, I went through similar, it was hard. But like you will, I got there (am getting maybe?). What's life without a bit of a challenge hey?

This is My third Day after the diagnosis. I try very hard to eat something and drink some water. I still cannot breath normally and sleeping pills help just for a few hours. I am in a foreign country, away from home, but here is where my bf is and we need to stick together. My worst fear is not only  how this will affect my relationship, but also my job. I am a surgeon  you see . And this is all I have Been since I graduated high-school. In Germany where I live, it is very complex. I need to see a lawyer about this.
Right now I just wish the pain would subside just a little, so that a can take a whole breath or that I can move myself to the kitchen. I am so alone. So afraid.


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