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Needing Some Advice: New Magnetic Relationship

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Hi All,

First, I'm so glad this forum exists!  I am in my 30s and I have recently embarked on my first relationship with a HIV positive fellow.  I am an HIV negative gay male.  I guess I'm writing for support.

My manfriend was diagnosed last fall.  He is still adjusting to being positive.  He started treatment two days ago, in part due to my urging him, but he was also thinking about it.  I care for him sooo much, I want to be with him more than anything, but I am conflicted lately.

At first, I thought I could handle this.  Now, I'm not so sure.  I thought that treatment today being what it is that I could mentally get past his status.  I don't know anymore.  But I do love him, I already love him so much.  I just want to make him happy and take all his pain away.  I wish I could be with him and not place myself in any risk at the same time, but I know that would be impossible, there is always some level of risk.  How do I overcome my fears and feel comfortable in this relationship, any words of advice?

Have you considered counseling? From your tenure in the AM I INFECTED forum it's oretty obvious you have an ongoing and irrational fear or HIV.

If, after over a year as a member of the forums, you are still freaking out about your boyfriend's tears, then this is a real problem for both of you.

Perhaps you're right.  Perhaps its best that I move on with my life.

Getting him on meds is the best way to protect yourself. Once he is undetectable, the risk of him transmitting it to you is very small, add condoms into the mix and its almost nothing!

An HIV+ person should go on HAART when he/she decides to under the care and advice of a doctor.
Not because a partner is ignorant about the risks of protected sex, can't live with miniscule risks, has fear and obsession about HIV, and pushes the person to go on HAART.

So: "Getting him on meds is the best way to protect yourself."  not.


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