Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits > Mental Health & HIV

Emotional detachment?

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DrewEm:
I also am emotionally isolated. No matter the situation, no matter how much I can identify with it I just look cold and frozen. It drove my ex to distraction.

I have learned that I internalize.

I explained this to the latest guy I am seeing and he understands. If it bothers you, seek counsel. I come from a nonemotional family (back to my great, great grandparents) that I recall so while no problem to me, it bothered my ex who was from a very emotional family.

oksikoko:
Buckmark seems right on the money. You mentioned an HIV charity where you get therapy. At one ASO here in NYC they have a special support group for people with this very problem. Do you think something like that might be useful and can you try to find one in your local area? I know it's pretty specific, but they do exist, and I would have never known about it if it weren't something I thought about on account of my ex-husband. He was affectionately called "the robot", and we joked that I had enough emotions for the two of us so it would all be OK in the end. Yeah, that went as well as you're imagining it might. ;)

Good luck, buddy. There's hope and help out there somewhere. :)

YellowFever:

--- Quote from: Alan_B on February 21, 2013, 12:40:30 PM ---Problem is, being a science / engineering person I look for practical solutions to problems, to which I can't find one for my problem. I leaves me feeling scared that ill end up alone :-/

And just to reiterate - it isn't just with this guy, it's been over the last 5 years or so. Ever since I was dumped by the one man I have ever truly loved. Maybe that's still having an effect. No idea.

--- End quote ---

Yay to science/engineering people. I'm one too!

I too tend to downplay my emotions - because they are often the cause and not the solution to my problems. But that also makes me reserved. I don't think you can substantially change the way you handle your emotions but maybe just identify the moments when wearing your heart on your sleeve is a source of joy/happiness, then make an effort to fight the urge to downplay it.

oksikoko:

--- Quote from: YellowFever on February 23, 2013, 09:37:45 AM ---Yay to science/engineering people. I'm one too!

I too tend to downplay my emotions - because they are often the cause and not the solution to my problems. But that also makes me reserved. I don't think you can substantially change the way you handle your emotions but maybe just identify the moments when wearing your heart on your sleeve is a source of joy/happiness, then make an effort to fight the urge to downplay it.

--- End quote ---

Emotions get a bad name. I'm a programmer too, by the way (well, a front-end developer [not a designer], so you probably don't count me in this rigid system of left-/right-brain people).

I don't think emotions are the cause of anyone's problems any more than alcohol is the cause of an alcoholic's problems. Alcohol and out-of-control emotions may help reveal underlying problem, but they're rarely *the* problem.

I'm sure there are exceptions.

Alan_B:
Well the good news is we got our problems sorted for now, just going to see how things pan out. He's an LTSer too, someone I look up to very much.

As for me, I am going to try my best and I am also going to make an appointment to see a councillor.

Jus did something huge there (to me). Informed my parents who know that's am gay but we have never talked about it that they will have to meet my partner as he is going to be my plus 1 at my brothers wedding. Really proud of myself :-)

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