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HIV+ friend is sharing needles but not disclosing infection

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jkinatl2:
Participating in your friend's dishonesty will fuck up any chances you have to continue or restart your program. Assuming you want to .

If you want to get or stay sober again, you know you will have to get far. far away from this guy. Whether you want to keep his secret depends on how many bridges you want to burn. And of course, even if the other folks are OK with it, if you aren't then that's a huge harsh on the whole situation. And if you told, you need to consider that it might not make a bit of difference.

YOu could, of course, tell your friend that you are nor comfortable seeing his behavior. But then you would likely need to find another place to live.

You are in the middle of a snake pit. You can either complain that snakes are being snakes, or get out.

Your friend is doing IV drugs, not taking his meds, and sharing needles with other folks. Other consenting folks, of course. I can't imagine seeing all these people killing themselves wouldn't get depressing after awhile. Even if it's not "your" fault.



emeraldize:

--- Quote from: jkinatl2 on February 16, 2013, 11:26:48 PM ---Participating in your friend's dishonesty will fuck up any chances you have to continue or restart your program. Assuming you want to .

If you want to get or stay sober again, you know you will have to get far. far away from this guy. Whether you want to keep his secret depends on how many bridges you want to burn. And of course, even if the other folks are OK with it, if you aren't then that's a huge harsh on the whole situation. And if you told, you need to consider that it might not make a bit of difference.

YOu could, of course, tell your friend that you are nor comfortable seeing his behavior. But then you would likely need to find another place to live.

You are in the middle of a snake pit. You can either complain that snakes are being snakes, or get out.

Your friend is doing IV drugs, not taking his meds, and sharing needles with other folks. Other consenting folks, of course. I can't imagine seeing all these people killing themselves wouldn't get depressing after awhile. Even if it's not "your" fault.

--- End quote ---

I agree with what JK wrote -- aside from being depressing, at some level within you, this can't be tolerable. If it were, I don't think you'd have posted here.

The old adage, ' birds of a feather flock together ' has truth in it. If you're willing to take a long look and make a move in defense of your own life, you'll take flight -- even if it's uncomfy.

I can't do a what-would-I-do-in-your-situation response because I've not been in your exact scene. BUT, I can tell you that once I stopped blowing dope, I didn't know any other users, stopped drinking, wasn't around alcoholics, stopped smoking, and I wasn't hanging out with smokers. Stopping the habit has a way of moving you out of range quickly and quite naturally.

If you introduced me to your friend tomorrow, providing he doesn't pack a piece, I'd pull him aside and clearly say -- Fuck yourself up all you like -- to death if you wish, but don't knowingly take another addict down with you.  Oh and another thing, you and I could never be friends until you dropped your addictions, got back on your meds and made a choice to live.   (Understand, it is your decision to hang out with this 'friend'.)

Now, the other thing you can do without repercussion to you because the state folks across the board are bound to non-disclosure of such information, is contact the health department (whether local or state level) and explain what's happening. They can't do anything legally powerful, but they can write him a letter, he'll be on record from an infectious disesases perspective. The health department wants to know of souls who are infecting others.

The other saga-ending thing you could do if you feel very large in the testicular area is inform the police anonymously through a silent complaint. I would strongly suggest you get your ass out of the house permanently before doing that. While it seems an outrageous action you might save his life and the lives of those with whom he's shooting up. He's not doing so well is he? And sometimes the Higher Power comes through help from others -- watching him die is the other option it seems.

First things first, get your addictions addressed -- the sooner your veils lift, the better decisions you'll make and the faster you'll make them.

mecch:

--- Quote from: countrygrace on February 16, 2013, 12:46:02 PM ---I've seen him share needles with several people and he never says anything to them about his HIV status. Sometimes he bleaches them first sometimes he doesn't. I've kept his secret but it's really getting to me that he's showing no regard for our friends' lives. These are people that he's known for years, they TRUST him and would never think to question his actions.

--- End quote ---

So, um, the ways HIV can be transmitted have been known for decades...  I am guessing all injection drug users are aware of the risks of needle sharing.  True?

People do risky things, despite knowing that they are doing risky things. 

I don't believe there can be a group of people sharing needles on a regular basis who truly trust that it is risk free, who truly TRUST each other, and "would never think to ask questions"....   But maybe you can enlighten...   To me, it sounds like willful denial...   We are all cable of that, so its not a judgement. 

This by way of saying, as an HIV+ person, I agree with Ann - we HIV+ people do NOT want people going around outing our HIV status. 

But you don't have to sit there silently.  First of all, protect yourself, of course.

And secondly, you can tell your friend exactly what you think about his behavior. 

Third, you can bring up health issues when any of these people are around, bring up the subject of doctors, risks, HIV, etc.  Whatever...  Obviously people don't want to talk about this, but tough shit, its bugging you, so putting such subjects on the table might provoke a round of questions... 

If someone asks your friend if he knows his HIV status, he might have an opportunity to reveal it, or lie about it.  If he lies in response to a direct question... Then you can decide, what are you going to do about this person being in your life?

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