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best friend...should i disclose?

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Anqueetas:
I have  similar experience with you but my ex-close friends that I disclose with can't deal with it in the end. SO we go parted way and now we are just someone that use to know.

DO NOT DISCLOSE TO SOMEONE THAT YOU NOT REALLY TRUST, WHEN YOU DISCLOSE, YOU CAN NEVER  TAKE IT BACK. REMEMBER PEOPLE THAT HAVE PROBLEM WITH HIV OR CAN'T DEAL WITH IT. CAN BRING SO MUCH DRAMA AND PROBLEM INTO YOUR LIFE, THAT IT WILL BURDEN YOU SO MUCH. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU ISSUE AND THEIRS ISSUE TOO????????

LOVE YOU SELF, BE SELFISH IF YOU MUST. MAYBE IF YOU NO LONGER FEEL COMFORTABLE TO BE WITH HER, FIND A NEW FIREND. I DID AND I FEEL MUCH BETTER AND MOVE ON.


PEOPLE ARE DRAMATIC, DO YOU WANT TO BURDEN YOURSELF WITH THEIR CRAP WHILE DEALING WITH YOU OWN HEALTH AND MENTAL ISSUE ?

Casinokiwi:
I would be a great friend to her and help her in her journey to sobriety (assuming that she is ready and wants that).  If the time is right to tell her then you can let her know.  However, if you feel anywhere in your gut that you should not tell her - I would wait until the feeling in your gut is gone.   

mecch:

--- Quote from: texaninnyc87 on February 08, 2013, 08:08:02 PM ---is it really that odd for people to compare their situations with others they're close with?

--- End quote ---

But is it productive to do so? And is it kind? Every one has his own problems and they are serious to him.  If you are friends with someone, it goes with the territory that you can stand in her shoes and have empathy for her challenges. Which have nothing to do with your own.  Yes, to your limits. If you think she wants to waste your time on some melodrama, just say that. You don't ever need to say something like "well your problems are so minor compared to my own, sorry." 

You each seem to begrudge each other for a lack of support.  But you cannot resent her lack of support for you living with HIV, if you have decided that its not time to tell her. You can't tell her because you dont trust her discretion, so stick to that and move on from that point. 

Everyone has their own challenges and friends should show interest and empathy in the problems that their friends choose to share.  If you really can't find empathy, then whats the point of the friendship?  Its not kind to her and a waste of your own time. 

mikeyb39:
why don't you just 'test the waters' so to speak  Just bring the topic up in a conversation saying that you know a 'person' in this situation and ask her what her thoughts are about it.

You don't have to let on that it is you.  If she has a problem with it well there is your answer.  This is what I would do that way you don't implicate yourself and just move on to someone who can be supportive.

Just my 2 cents.

Dachshund:

--- Quote from: texaninnyc87 on February 08, 2013, 08:08:02 PM ---is it really that odd for people to compare their situations with others they're close with?

--- End quote ---

No, not at all, it's human nature. I'm betting if your circle of friends include the people you've told then she already knows. Maybe you should give this a minute and let her deal with her issues before she's dealing with yours.

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