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best friend...should i disclose?

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oksikoko:
.

texaninnyc87:
well, as i said earlier, i really do feel like for the past few months id been using the seriousness of my status to trivialize her issues and was also resenting her because i felt like i couldnt trust her even though i never gave her a chance. she's been building up a lot of resentment towards me, with good reason, and regardless of what I was going through she needed support and guidance from me, and i wasnt there for her. one big difference is that she put herself out there and was honest and open with me from the beginning about what she was going through and what she needed from me and i wasnt there for her. regardless of my status, we have issues.

elf:
Having HIV is for many a dark secret.
Don't disclose it to anyone, unless they love you unconditionally (your parents, brother, sister, ex love who remained a friend without 2nd intentions)...

Life is a game of cards,
you are going to lose, if you show your cards to everyone, in advance.

While for some people, knowing that you're HIV positive won't change much,
they might interpret your disclosure to virtually everyone as playing a victim card.

jkinatl2:

--- Quote from: elf on February 26, 2013, 12:15:23 PM ---Having HIV is for many a dark secret.
Don't disclose it to anyone, unless they love you unconditionally (your parents, brother, sister, ex love who remained a friend without 2nd intentions)...

Life is a game of cards,
you are going to lose, if you show your cards to everyone, in advance.

While for some people, knowing that you're HIV positive won't change much,
they might interpret your disclosure to virtually everyone as playing a victim card.

--- End quote ---

This seems like a recipe for a terribly unhappy existence. How can a person ever expect to be unconditionally loved if they choose not to trust? How can someone expect to be accepted when they hide?

I certainly don't think everyone is in the position to change the world, but let's never pretend that building a prison for ourselves isn't just that.

YellowFever:

--- Quote from: elf on February 26, 2013, 12:15:23 PM ---Life is a game of cards,
you are going to lose, if you show your cards to everyone, in advance.

While for some people, knowing that you're HIV positive won't change much,
they might interpret your disclosure to virtually everyone as playing a victim card.

--- End quote ---

That analogy broke down somewhere. I might have understood it wrong. I'm assuming that playing a card means to perform an action with a specific goal of how you want those actions to reflect on you. In this case, You play the "honest full disclosure" card and people see it as a "victim" card. So if people can freely interpret your actions as playing a different card, then it doesn't matter what card you played.

I think what is more important is what your actions mean to you. Do what your gut tells you, as Casinokiwi says. Choose what you're comfortable with as buginme2 says. Follow your heart, as Disney says.

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