HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

I think I'm in trouble.

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Over 4.5 months ago, went to my first massage parlor, like an idiot.

Girl walks in, proceeds to give me handjob immediately.  She used some kind of KY type lube from a pumping bottle. 

She was not very good at it, and she spent quite some time trying to get me to finish, having to "reload" from the bottle an additional time during.

I started to get uncomfortable and left, only using some Kleenex to clean up.  Couldn't do a proper rinse till about 15 minutes later when I got to my shower.

I know from doing some reading, that handjobs are not considered and STD/HIV risk, so I wasn't worried much about catching something... However guilt of doing this behind my partners back had me feeling pretty low.

About two weeks later, started to get symptoms of urethritis.  Docs all told me that it couldn't be STD because of no risk scenario.  Put me on multiple antibiotics anyway like Amox, and Cipro over the course of the next 60 days.

Did very little good to relieve symptoms. During this time, guilt/anxiety causing total lack of appetite and some significant weight loss began to occur.

In addition, was dealing with going on and off multiple anxiety/depression meds because they thought it was all in my head.  This did not help my appetite or fatigue issues.

Was finally diagnosed with chlamydia and epididymitis around 65 days out, and given even more antibiotics.  Needed both zpak and then doxy to finally get rid of it.

How did I get this from HJ?

Around day 90, my groin nodes began to feel uncomfortable.  Thought it might be lingering effect of the above issues, but started reading on HIV symptoms.

The nodes, along with the 30 pounds that I have dropped began to concern me, especially since I was so tired al of the time.  Months of depression and not eating have made me skeletal in appearance.

Around day 95 I took an Oraquick home test, which returned "negative".

Since month 3.5, (and continuing till now - 4.5 months after exposure) I have been experiencing the following symptoms:

Stiff neck

Swollen and (sometimes) painfull nodes in the front, sides, and back of neck

Non tender node between my chest and collar bone (left side)

On and off swollen nodes in my pits, mostly on left side

Palpable node in left elbow

Sore spots on back near shoulder blades (in mid upper back)

Some spotty , but painful muscle pain in various areas of my body, legs, back, biceps, quads, elbows, etc... That last for a couple of days then move to different spot(s).

Everyday my temperature starts and ends between 97.6 and 98.4, but I shoot up to 99.5 for 5-6 hours in the afternoon/evening


Random joint discomfort

Possible spleen pain.

From week 13 through week 19, I have tested negative 9 times with Oraquick home.

My questions are:

The same people all over the net (Medhelp, etc...) that said HIV is impossible from HJ also said Chlamydia was too, yet it happened.  With the Chlamydia present, and apparently some infected fluids - either on her hands or in/on the pump bottle... Isn't HIV possible?  Wouldn't the STD cause higher viral load threat?  Could a water based lube protect HiV from the environment for a few moments?

Are my tests conclusive at this point, even though my HIV symptoms didn't even start till month 3.5?

I wonder if the significant courses of antibiotics didn't mess with my immune system a bit and throw me off of a normal seroconversion course....

I am terrified, and do not know what to think at this point.


You are indeed testing way too much over a handjob that absolutely did NOT put you at risk for hiv infection.

Chlamydia is a whole other thing. It is much, MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv. UNLIKE hiv, it can remain viable and able to infect when it is outside the body. Most bacteria can and chlamydia is a bacteria. While it is unusual to get chlamydia from a handjob, it is totally possible. As you can attest.

None of the antibiotics or other meds you have taken would have the slightest effect on your antibody tests. Even if you DID have a risk (which you did NOT), you are conclusively hiv negative.

You do NOT have hiv.

If you continue to feel unwell or have other problems, see a doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with a virus for which you not only have not been at risk, but have also conclusively tested negative.




     I have read archives of responses from experts such as yourself, and find relief in the consistency of your thoughts on this subject.  I certainly don't want to be the "first" to be dx'd with HIV from the HJ scenario, nor does my rational mind believe me to be so unique.

But these symptoms are REAL.  Is the Oraquick home test really able to provide a conclusive result?  The studies out there are inconsistent at best.

(I spend WAY WAY too much time on the Internet.... Especially over the past 4.5 months....)

Have you (or anyone else) really never heard of anyone being infected this way?

I can come up with no other explanation... Every day seems to bring a new ache or a new swollen node.

I am way beyond the normal period for ARS, and most of those symptoms all occur at the same time, no?

Is it foolish for me to continue testing?  I am soooo scared for my wife and small children, that I cannot risk being even .01% unsure.... Know what I mean?

Thanks for your expertise.

I know ya'll get innondated with these anxiety type situations, and I hope not to annoy you to the point of getting banned like some of the others I have read!


While your symptoms may be real, they are in NO WAY connected to hiv. You need to work with a doctor to find out what is actually going on. You have already conclusively ruled hiv out as a possible cause. You could be missing something serious through your misguided focus on hiv.

Not one person has EVER been infected with hiv through a handjob and you are NOT going to be the first.

Yes, you are way beyond the time frame when ARS occurs (usually week 2/3 following infection). The symptoms come on all at once and go all at once.

You can test all you like, but your negative result is NOT going to change. Keep in mind that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. And yes, the test you used is reliable at the window-period time-frame in which you used it.

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection.

You do NOT need further hiv testing.

You do NOT have hiv!



     Anxiety won again, and prior to reading your latest response, I went out and took a home access express test.... I read that the results from that test are more reliable than the Oraquick home.

I guess it's going to be a long couple of days waiting for the results of this test, but I have promised myself that if these results are negative, I will make a Dr. appointment to explore other options - up to and including some psych evals.

Wish me luck.

Thank you for your consistent expertise.


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