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Author Topic: A Little Vent/Rant  (Read 360 times)

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Offline RobbyR

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
A Little Vent/Rant
« on: February 03, 2013, 04:44:45 PM »
Have a little rant/vent to get off my chest. Hopefully some can relate to me..I have been poz for several years and have it under control and am taking meds for it now. I am the healthiest I've ever been overall and I have a lot to be thankful for. I spent a few years in denial before I sought treatment and didn't want to admit it to myself. I went to parties, sex gatherings, where drugs were abundant, mostly meth, cocaine, or pills. In those situations, everyone else there was doing them, so I experimented to fit in as it were. I figured what the hell. I never shot up with anything, and wouldn't say I was ever a full-blown addict, but definately became a recreational user, when opportunity presented itself. Mostly I used at sex parties. Of course I regret this now because I had some dangerous experiences where once after an all-night meth binge with these guys I hardly knew I went to a friend of theirs house to come down off the meth, took a hit from what I thought was a bong but it must have been spiked with something because I passed out and hit my head and knocked out. I came to in a strange house, around strange people. I remember them talking about me like "let's just dump him somewhere", and finally I was able to tell them to take me to a friend's house.

Anways I didn't learn my lesson from that and continued recreational use of meth and coke and weed for a few more years. I didn't have any more bad experiences until I met this one guy who I knew socially and went over to kick it with him and smoked meth. I guess I finally did way too much because I got extremely high and stayed that way. I felt like I was having severe panic attacks and my heart didn't stop racing for days. Two days later, I woke up and started having what I thought was a partial seizure, so finally I went to the ER. They said I nearly had overdosed on it. Well that was my rock-bottom moment. I told myself I was going to face my HIV status, seek treatment, and never use drugs again. I have  been clean & sober since 2009!

What I would like to rant about is some peoples' comments about drug users. Having been a user myself, I know now I was trying to not face my HIV status, and also cover up some other issues. But these holier than thou politicians and people who are so quick to demonize all drug users are just plain wrong. Drug use is a painful road, and is VERY hard to come to terms with not to mention the chemical effects of it.

I also hate when people in the media or everyday people still refer to aids and hiv in the same breath. The two are NOT the same thing! Before my diagnosis, I was petrified I might have had full-blown aids, but luckily I did not and ask anyone, including Magic Johnson, hiv is very manageable and NOT a death sentence. Granted, having hiv is not easy due to the treatment side effects and such, but it is not a death sentence. My doctor told me I can expect to live a full, long life. I had a friend who did have full blown aids, but he caught it in time and now is healthy as can be. There is still so much ignorance from people who just don't understand, and also from these thin-lipped Republican bitches who are so quick to judge but a lot of them still go in restroom stalls and tap their feet because they want to get their old shrivelled dicks off. I just wish people would make the distinction more between hiv and aids, and that hiv is in fact a treatable, chronic condition rather than a disease persay.

People should not be so quick to live in glasses and throw stones. Most of my friends I hang with today have no idea I am HIV positive, or that I once used drugs, and it bothers me when sometimes they make a comment about either one of those. I guess that's all my rant for now. Hope some can relate  8)
Started Atripla August, 2010.

vl in December, 2013: Undetectable

cd4 in December, 2013: 650

Diagnosed Bipolar I in 2013.

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,588
Re: A Little Vent/Rant
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2013, 09:28:43 PM »


    Hi Robby ,

                   Glad you are doing better with bad habits .
 I can't really relate , never did crack stuff .
 As for people talking about  AIDS and HIV , people tend to be uninformed
 and do not bother to get the  knowledge they need until they have AIDS in their
face and go oops  ???
  Ranting is good !

                                              Be well ,  Weasel
" Live and let Live "

 


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