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Anyone else isolated?

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oksikoko:
Hey, everybody.

Is anyone else here completely isolated from others? I don't mean a little bit. I mean is there anyone else here who doesn't have anyone else in their life period?

I can go days without speaking to anyone, and when I do it's a social worker or doctor or something like that. I don't have friends or family of any kind. I guess I have some acquaintances, but no one I could call up to say "hi" without having some specific reason.

I've always wanted that, of course, but it's not in the cards for everyone, so rather than be upset about it, I've tried to just learn to live with it. The HIV thing has made it a little more, oh crap, than it used to be, but I'm learning to get lab results and other stuff back without needing to tell anyone else or share it or whatever. I mentioned in another post that I forget to eat, and since there's not really anyone around, it's harder to do things that supposedly keep you from advancing to AIDS quicker. I put a reminder in my phone, but I tend now to just click it and still forget unless I go right that second and eat something.

For me, the hardest thing is not turning into a "brat". I mean, I'll go a long time without interacting, then every once in a while it blows up and I'll jump into some online discussion and just be "bratty", for attention, I think.

Anyway, I figured I'd ask this and see if it prevents impending brattiness. ;)

Maybe it doesn't belong in Living with HIV, but I was doing better with this before. I lost my job and housing stability at the same time I was diagnosed, so it's hard to differentiate what's the source of what.

Oh, and I'm not looking for solutions to isolation. I think it's too late for that. I'm just curious if I'm alone in this or if there's at least one other person out there somewhere.

Jeff G:
I can certainly identify with the isolation you are experiencing . I wont go into the long story but it became necessary for me to move back to Alabama in 2001 and I was very alone , so very alone .

During that time I found this forum and it helped me to not feel so isolated and bit more connected until I could work through some issues and rejoin the human race . I hope you use this forum for the support you need until things improve for you and then to offer the same support to others , I promise you , you are not alone .

As far as the brat issue , just be able to take what you dish out because there are many here up to the challenge LOL ... better yet just be yourself and expect the same .

mikeyb39:
hi oks,
yes i know the isolation all so well.  Sounds like you and i are in the same boat. i dont have many folks that i talk to or hand out with.  its depressing really to honest.  Old friends mention that i dont go out and be social anymore.  i work, go to gym, come home, sleep and repeat..

i dont like hanging at the bars, dont like crowds of people.  making friends here is very difficult oddly enough. so i can understand your feeling.  i've cut out and off a lot of folks from my life including my family.  i make time for them to visit, but not for long.  it just seems there is nothing to talk about with them.

WestSide:
I'm in the same boat.

I've been giving friends excuses as to why I can't hang out.  I find myself getting a
little angry at times because I feel like I've been robbed of my life.

Some of my friends respect my wishes and others think I've changed to walk the straight and narrow. 

I've really only ever had just a few friends anyways and live a solitary life outside of work.

Ultimately, I am making the decision to isolate myself and keep my status confidential. 

I need time to figure things out and get help for all that is so new to me. 
I've just started my medication this week and I definitely don't want to be around people while I am adjusting to everything.

Next thing is to find a therapist that will help me overcome my anxiety and figure out what my new life and new ambitions will be.

I'm very thankful for this site and all the wonderful people who offer support.
Were all here to learn and grow and rise above it all.
~hugs~

Jody:
Hey oks, mikey, westside...Right now you guys are in a bad place and isolation is the WORST thing for you and I feel each of you folks is smart enough to realize that.  I was in an awful place, physically, mentally and spiritually after my roommate died 18 years ago this month.  I stopped eating anything nutritious or at all.  I lost a great deal of weight and when I was hospitalized with PCP pneumonia again in 1995 I was in a terrible place. 

The cocktail of meds I started in 1996 changed things alot, I gained 40 pounds, got back to the gym and regained self respect.  Loss of job or the sanctuary of your home is awful but you simply have to do all you can to overcome that.  Be your own advocate and end your loneliness, it is a terrible poverty.

I'd very much recommend joining a support group and go every week no matter what.  It can be a very therapeutic option that works well toward restoring your place in the world and all you bright guys have to offer.

Jody

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