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Author Topic: Terrified, anxious and very very bleak thoughts  (Read 1108 times)

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Offline Ahrimoniac

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Terrified, anxious and very very bleak thoughts
« on: January 31, 2013, 05:45:10 AM »
Firstly, hello and thank you for a wonderful resource. I will try and keep it succinct and not get too emotional. 7 days ago I did something incredibly rash and out of character. I have been with my partner - and only my partner - for six years. We were going through a rough patch and I was feeling very blue. Upshot was I went with a stranger in a park. Ridiculous and I regret it wholeheartedly but my partner knows and we have talked it through and he is vety understanding.

In terms of the act, I basically sucked this guy off. I stopped after about 10 seconds and ran off because I realised what I was actually risking. He did not come in my mouth. I immediately started washing my mouth out witj water andnthen I brushed and mouthwashed about 30 mins later. I realise now this was the wrong thing to do. To compound matters, I cut the top of my mouth quite badly later that evening about 12 hours after the event.

Now I am absolutely terrified. I have strong aches in my legs and my glands in my neck are up. I have had a sore throat and blocked ears. I have made an appointment for a 10 day early detection test and I have a general screening at a gum clinic later today for all the other stuff. I am aware I am making myself sick with worry but I cant bear the thought that I have been so foolish and risked everything important to me. The guys at the counselling service did.do a fingerprick test which was negative but I think thay would be too early.

Can anyone offer some thoughts or advice? Thanks for reading

Offline Ann

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Re: Terrified, anxious and very very bleak thoughts
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2013, 06:27:06 AM »
Ahrim,

You're worrying yourself silly for no good reason. Unless you have absolutely terrible oral health (google "meth mouth" images for examples of what I mean by this), then you haven't been at risk for hiv infection. Neither the brushing afterwards nor the cut afterwards makes a difference.

Ten seconds? No ejaculation? No worries.

Your saliva contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. Not only that, but hiv can only infect a very few, very specific types of cells and these cells are not found in abundance in the mouth. Between the damage saliva causes and the lack of targets, the mouth is not an efficient transmission vector.

There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. Not all of the poz participants in these studies were on meds with undetectable viral loads either.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER ORAL SEX, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ahrimoniac

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Re: Terrified, anxious and very very bleak thoughts
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2013, 09:59:25 AM »
Ann - firstly, thank you for coming back to me so swiftly. It means a lot and has calmed me down considerably. My main concern was the large cut in my mouth but that was a fair few hours after. I have read where people say oral was all they have done so thats why I worry. And of course it becomes so easy to work yourself up into a frenzy with every possible symptom. I will go for another test after 28 days to just score it off in my mind it has definitely given me a shock. Thank you again

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Terrified, anxious and very very bleak thoughts
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2013, 11:13:24 AM »
Ahrim,

Lots of people say lots of things, doesn't necessarily make them true. Consider this: if giving blowjobs were the big hiv boogyman that some make it out to be, then WHY has there never been a woman claiming to have been infected this way? It's always only men - men who might not like to admit to having unprotected anal intercourse.

Testing for peace of mind is fine, just don't sweat it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ahrimoniac

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Re: Terrified, anxious and very very bleak thoughts
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2013, 08:16:40 AM »
Thanks for coming back to me, Ann - your counsel is much appreciated
 I confess myself frightened again this morning as I now have rashes on both of my legs - quite sore and very red and itchy, together with a pounding headache. I will try and soak your words in though!

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Terrified, anxious and very very bleak thoughts
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2013, 10:10:43 AM »
Ahrim,

The rash you describe is nothing like the rash that sometimes accompanies ARS.

The rash associated with ARS does not itch. It is not painful. It normally appears on the torso, not the arms, legs or head.

Calm down already and enjoy the upcoming weekend.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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