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12/12/12 - A date that I will never forget

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Hi, I am a 29 year old who recently tested poz...and here is my still developing story. My story takes a few twists and turns, so try to follow  :)

So, I went to my local community clinic for a routine STD screening at the end of November 2012. I decided to do this as a step in the preparation of moving to another city (NYC) with my company. Since this was going to be a big move for me, I just wanted to be sure that there would be no surprises when I get there. To my dismay, just days after going in for the testing, I find out that my company decided to sell. This was a complete shock, and was a huge disappointment.

In an attempt to cheer myself up from this disappointment, I decided to go out of town the day after Thanksgiving Day...on a whim. In hindsight, I am thrilled that I decided to go on the impromptu trip because I just so happened to cross paths with a guy that I've had a big crush on for years while on the trip. We had the opportunity to hang out and catch up. Ironically, while we were hanging out, I made it a point to confess that I admired him...for years...and wondered why he had been so elusive towards me. To my surprise, the feeling was mutual, but he resisted my pursuit because he is HIV +. Of course, I was shocked....and my only response to what he said was...I vomited. I was soooo embarrassed. :-[ The news of his positive status made me sick because I felt as though God was talking to me, preparing me for my own news.

Unfortunately, I was right.  A couple of weeks later, on 12/12/12, I find out that my HIV test was confirmed positive. I was numbed by the news.  My life felt as though in was turned upside down. My plans to relocate and start a new life were halted in their tracks. My life has been on pause ever since. For the first time, I understood just why people resort to suicide as a solution to their problems.

I haven't been to work since receiving the devastating news, as I've been on short-term disability.  After doing extensive research (which was frightening), I immediately made an appointment with a doctor (who happens to be one of the best doctors for treating HIV-AIDS). I go back for my follow-up visit on Thursday Jan 24th to go over my numbers and start a treatment plan perhaps. I am very anxious and nervous about what I will find out. I have numerous swollen lymph nodes in my neck that appear to be getting worse. I've basically been a recluse since receiving the news, which is very much unlike me.  All of my friends are concerned about me, and so am I. 

On the bright side, however, my relationship with "the crush" is flourishing. He has been my only support during this extremely difficult time. I think that I really may be falling for him. Talk about finding love in a hopeless place...   

Welcome. Wow--what an interesting story. Your crush is poz and then you learn you are too. Lucky timing for you to have him as support.  What a delightful disclosure tale too.  You're likely freaked about your employment situation -- no surprise. Any chance you could get work in the crush's city?  Em

Jeff G:
Welcome P.R. . Im happy you found us and thanks for sharing your story with us .

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Well my crush actually lives in the same city as me. It had just been a good while since I last seen him, and It was ironic that we crossed paths while out of town visiting the same city at the same time.

A week after learning that I was HIV+, I decided to call him up and take him out for dinner. It was the that I dropped the bomb on him, telling him that I just found out that I was HIV+ as well. It was also then that I explained why I all of a sudden vomited  :-[. We laughed about it.

We've gotten much closer since, and I truly believe that he was heaven sent. I don't have anyone else that I would have ever trusted to lean on in my time of need.

As for my job, I am still employed, but won't be in about another month or so. I am pretty anxious about this because I do want to continue to see my doctor. I haven't even started any treatment yet.

hi p.r.,
thanks for sharing and welcome!
hang in there and please keep us posted!
great intro.


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