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rugger:
Hello all,  where to begin...I found out that i had tested positive in June 06 .  I am in the military so i went for my physical health assessment Jun 7 2006 and when we do that its routine...you go in the run some tests draw some blood and send you on your way back to your day to day life.  Jun 12 everyone was getting ready to leave and around 4:00pm my commanding officer came to me and said she needed to talk to me. I waked into here office and she told me to sit down and started reading from a military instruction informing myself of my status and what the next steps will be.  Needless to say i was devastated, angry and confused because i have always used condoms.  My biggest worry was what will  become of my military career.  So military members that test positive are sent to the medical center in Washington DC to go through more test and counseling. my cd4 count is 630 and my viral load is 2,220.  OCT 11 2006....i cannot say that I am alright with it but I cannot let my thoughts keep me from my duties so it may seem that I am fine but I am falling apart inside.  Trying to figure out how and who I got the virus from.  I'm afraid to let anyone touch and i have secluded myself in my apartment. I recently got sick and thought the world was going to end but once i get up in the morning I'm like another person and i go to work and no one knows but i feel as if HIV is written on my forehead and it makes me feel dirty and ashamed.  How did everyone here deal with this.

matthewreal:
Wow,
  I know exactly how you feel. I am sorry that this has happened and I hope you well.You came to a great place here. Like you said you wake up the same, you go to work and everything is like normal except that you now know you are positive. I know it seems like like it is written on your forehead but know this. IT IS NOT. Just remember that its your secret and you need to deal with it at your own pace. There is no rush to tell anyone. All i can say is that it gets better day by day. Your numbers are great. You found out really early and that is a key to success.I also recently found out and am also dealing with it. I will say that its been three months now since I found out. I have been on meds for three months. I actually feel great and really if I look at the big picture nothing really has changed for me other than I now take care of myself even more than I already was. If you have any question please feel free to contact me. Keep your head up and Good luck. I hope that helps.
Matthew ;)

Regretsafew:
Hey Rugger,  

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis  but you came to the right place on here.   All the people here are very nice and very knowledgeable.  The lessons are very informative.  I'm a newbie on here too  I was tested positive  just two months ago and I know what you are going through.  Some days seem to be better than others  but things get better.  Its really not important on how or who got you here.  Try to keep focus on your own health.  You're Lab numbers are good.  Try to learn all you can  but go slow   don't overwhelm yourself.  Just take it one day at a time and find a good doctor who knows how to treat this and that  you can establish a good relationship with.

Hang in there buddy,  we're all here for you.  

Joey

rugger:
Thanks for the support.  I can say that i got good doctors and I go to the Naval Medical center in DC so health wise i am fine..no meds yet but its like my life has come to a complete stop. I am an avid rugby player but I will not play the game anymore, I'm afraid of exposing someone else to HIV and as far as sex goes...thats the furthest thing on my mind. I've read some of the post on here and i think i can shed some of my inner most feeling here.

Alex

tsw923:
Alex,

Hang in there.  I completely understand where you are in this. For what its worth, your numbers are great and you are most likely in pretty good shape physically.  Give yurself time to process this and take your time.  This looks like a great site, so you have an outlet (I just found this today and plan to make good use of it myself  :)) I was just diagnosed in August and had to start taking meds right away because my cd4 count was 145.  I don't know if you have that one good friend you can turn to, but if not, this place seems like the best I've found so far.

It does get better (or so I'm told anyway) ;-) 

Ty

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