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Just found out I was poz yesterday

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Justme2012:
I posted in new member but figure I should post this here as well. Just searching for what to do...
I just found out last week that I was poz. My current BF took rapid test and it came back neg. He has blood test scheduled for Monday. Last person I was with is also neg. Then there is that ex, he cheated on me with numerous people, but can't get a hold of him. We ended on bad terms so he will never call back more than likely.
I just overwhelmed and still trying to process everything. I did more blood tests yesterday and have to wait two more weeks. I'm scared of those results as I was not expecting these results at all. Should I talk to doc about meds now or wait for those results? I can't even think about telling my parents. I'm an only child and know this will devastate them. I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions and was up all night. Called off work today and my manager was stressing me out. All questions about why and can't you just come in a deal with it type of response. I had just been crying right before and know I sounded off. Just trying to gather my thoughts here and not have a complete emotional breakdown but I feel it coming anyway... I really just don't know what to do from here. Oh and at the same time I tested poz for herpes. Doc did tell me I caught HIV early so I guess that's a good thing.
My current BF is goes from supportive to outright freaking out. He has survived 2 close calls with death, from car accidents, and can't fathom possibility of HIV. But like I mentioned earlier his tests are coming back negative. We have been having unprotected sex since June...

Homopoz:
Sorry to hear about it.. I got tested poz January 3rd, it still feel raw. Try to get suport from another poz who knows what you are going through. This forum is a good place to start but face to face conversation is better. Do not rush to tell anyone  about your status yet, take your time. You will know when it is a right time to tell someone and who you should tell. I have not told anybody except my partner (my doctors know it too).
I still feel too that my life came to the end but I have to get up everyday for work and continue my life like nothing happened. Like you, I took a day off to digest the news (luckily, I had a weekend off too). On Monday I went to work and continued talking to my colleagues like everything was ok. It was hard because I was completely devastated.
You may want to start researching any info available. It is normal too. But do not overwhelm yourserlf with it. There is too much infor available, and it can make things worse.. When you start getting depressed, just walk away from the computer, take a walk, watch a movie.
With medications, wait for test results. You want to know whether your hiv has any resistance to any drug available (never thought about it? Me either!). I have not started my meds yet as we are waiting for the resistance test results. Another worry on top of it, right?
Let your emotions go in their flow, be angree, be sad, be mad but make sure that there is someone around you who can help you cope with them too. I do not allow my emotions flow over me, but it is me, and  I feel that my healing process will be longer unless I allow the emotions spill out of myself.

NY2011:
you're both going to be okay. it sounds crazy right now, but it's true. the fact that you're researching it, have come across a peer site like this, and are making an effort to educate yourself, means that it's likely that it will all work in your favor.  The treatment regimen options of today are much better than they've ever been, and they're likely to continue to improve.  There's a site that helped me a lot when I had specific questions that I wanted answered by a doctor. Here's a link:
http://www.thebody.com/content/40482/ask-the-experts-about-hiv-aids.html?ic=3001
I'm a little over a year into this, and although it's been one hell of a long one, I've learned a lot, and I'm at the point where it doesn't dominate my thoughts during the day. The disappointment and fear will be replaced with hope and confidence soon enough.  It will come on your own time.

Justme2012:
Thanks to you both  :)
Yeah I have been racking my brain to figure out the when. My doctor told me that it was "recent" transmission and I have no idea who??? My current is neg to date, and two people from within past three years all said neg. I just can't figure out how! I think that will subside, but it's been on my mind since Saturday. I even entertained the idea of false positive. I called my doctor this morning to have medical files transferred from another doc. I do have PCOS, my mom and aunt also have PCOS and my mom actually had to have a hysterectomy, it was the 80s at the time, to remove cancerous cells. I also have had viral throat infections since my teens. I usually get them around winter time. Not the flu just crazy red marks all over the back of my throat and have had white patches and swollen tonsils when it's been at the worst point of infection. And of course I have been online to see if it's possible. My doctor called later today and said that there's a very slight possibility of false poz, but highly unlikely. I had more blood work done this past Saturday and she said those results can take up to two weeks. Hoping to find out sooner than later either way.

Souledout:
Hi, sorry that you had to find this place. I'm quite new here myself, in a similar position as yourself. I too was told is was a recent infection and have been wracking my brains as to how it could have happened as there was no obvious exposure over the last few months. For a long while it dominated my thoughts. Luckily, I'm slowly coming round to the idea that it doesn't really matter - we've got it no mater where we got it from. I would be interested to know where from but it doesn't really make much diference.

Remember that people are quite entitled to lie if you ask them if they are positive, they may want to keep things quiet on there end for their own reasons. You may never find out. I may never find out (I kinda envy those people who can point to their exposure, I find unanswered questions hard to deal with, always have).

Don't hang on to the idea of a false positive, it's the dashing of hopes that hits hard.

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