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Joe K:

While I appreciate your response, I honestly don't even know where to begin, because right now, I feel like just ignoring you.  You make comments about isolated incidents, that by your own omission, happen months apart and you expect new users to understand these comments, in some form of context?  How are they supposed to make those connections?  Instead, what I see, when you make these comments, is your casting a bad light on all of these forums, because you believe a few select newcomers have been flamed by some members.  I simply cannot understand how your "warnings" to newcomers, are conducive to them investing in and becoming contributing members to the forum.

It would be one thing, if you were to make these comments, after a newcomer has expressed confusion on what is happening, but you drop these "warnings" out of the blue and this tells me two things.  The first is that you aren't really "warning" newcomers so much, as displaying classic passive-aggressive behaviour against a few select members of the forums.  The second is that you are simply too cowardly to actually call those folks the spade you seem so fond of mentioning.  Taken together, these points make it apparent to me that you have some major issues, with certain members and all I can suggest is for you to grow a pair and if it bothers you so much, then confront them directly and privately.

What I cannot abide, is for any member to be flame-baiting any members, newcomers or not, because they are unwilling to confront the member(s) whom they claim are causing these problems.  When you make these type of comments, what I would take away, as a new member, is that these forums are vapid and shallow and they are no better than many such forums, so why waste your time.  It tells them there is nothing here for you, when that is rarely the case.  I also find it extremely distasteful to slam an entire forum, over a few unfortunate exchanges that can often be caused by confusion over communication styles.

Finally, what troubles me most is the final line of your reply:

--- Quote from: zach on January 18, 2013, 11:10:10 PM ---
The first time someone calls you a horse you punch him in the nose, the second time someone calls you a horse you call him a jerk, but the third time someone calls you a horse, well then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle.

--- End quote ---

To me, the comment is somewhat obtuse, but that could just be me.  However, the references to violence is telling to me.  This is a support forum, not a jousting tournament, as there are no horses here.  You seem to be suggesting that the way to resolve conflict is with violence and with that I will never, ever agree.  This idea that some members want to force other members to "kowtow" to them, with your reference to a saddle is absurd and extremely condescending.

It's apparent to me, that you have some major issues with certain members of this forum and as always, that is your right.  But to exercise that right, you need to address whatever issues you may have, with those members directly.  Try and remember, that your rights extend only to the point, where other members rights begin.  This also means you don't have the right to piss all over these forums with your venom, simply because you don't like certain members.



Re: Gay guys with Vitiligo

Reply #10 on: October 23, 2012, 06:13:08 PM


what does this thread have to do with HIV? and a whole string of 1st time posters. standards have gone down since "am i?" went pay for play. possibly i misunderstand the purpose of this site.

and dredged up a years old thread, winning all around.

Last Edit: October 23, 2012, 06:15:45 PM by zach

Is this an example of how to respond to someone's first post?  I just need clarification before the next meeting. 



--- Quote from: zach on January 18, 2013, 11:10:10 PM ---a couple of months ago a first time poster got the grammar nazi treatment, he hasn't been back, i hope he's doing ok. they backpedaled quick, and made the standard welcomes but that was the second thing said.
--- End quote ---

Did you forget the part where the poster sincerely apolgoized and went on to welcome that member? 

But instead, you choose to call me out on one incident instead of realizing that I devote quite a bit of time welcoming new members.  There is nothing "standardized" about my words and they are usually heartfelt and supportive.  I'll also ask, when is the last time you communicated positive support to anyone in that particular forum?  I got tired of looking beyond 2 months.

Bump on the extremely thin chance that the people who were thrilled to start this thread actually want a conversation.

I'm just going to continue to bump THIS up for While to see if any if the people who complain about this forum are seriously looking for real conversation.

I will do this until about a week longer than ridiculous.


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