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Author Topic: I may not be around much in the near future . . .  (Read 2681 times)

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Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,399
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« on: January 15, 2013, 12:43:59 AM »
It seems I never post anything positive.

Well, this is no exception.

My mother's condition is deteriorating much more rapidly than I anticipated. As some may know, my mother, who is 89, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last September.

My sister and I have been trying to take care of things, but it has reached a point where we cannot.

So, tomorrow, my sister and mother are meeting with an agency that provides hospice care. It is time. Neither I nor my sister can provide the ongoing care my mother needs.

I find myself just going through the motions or, in the alternative, in a wildly emotional state. The latter is uncommon for me, and I am having trouble adjusting to it.

The bottom line is I may not be posting here as much as I would otherwise. The main reason is, in my current state of emotional flux, I find myself posting things that I shouldn't.

I am managing to keep it together when I am at work, but that is taking a lot more will power than I anticipated.

Please wish me luck with this.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline britchick

  • Member
  • Posts: 440
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2013, 09:58:42 AM »
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.Please be proud of yourselves for making the right decision....that to me shows courage and love.

Please take care of yourself too.

britchickx

Offline britchick

  • Member
  • Posts: 440
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2013, 10:00:49 AM »
Im sorry. i've just noticed I've replied in the  lts forum..oops....but still thinking of you.

Britchickx

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2013, 10:05:02 AM »
Mark , I'm saddened to hear what you , your family and mom are up against , my heart and thoughts are with you . I admire you very much and hope you take the time to care for yourself , be well . Hugs , Jeff .   

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2013, 10:14:58 AM »
Mark, I'm so sorry to read this and that you and your family find yourselves in this position. I will be thinking of you a lot.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline synergyhomepage

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  • Live like there is no tommarow
    • Valley Aids Information Network
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2013, 11:24:08 AM »
Went thru the same with my dad a few years ago, pancreatic cancer.  Hospice was wonderful, making a difficult time easier.  They were there for the whole family.

Your family will be in our prayers.

 

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,650
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #6 on: January 15, 2013, 12:24:00 PM »
So sorry buddy.  Seems there are no appropriate words to convey my heartfelt thoughts for you.  My father passed a couple of years ago and we had been hesitant to place him in a home or contact hospice.  Ultimately, hospice was the greatest option we could have arrived at.  Not only was he well taken care, he enjoyed the care and attention that was provided.

hugs and luvs

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline RWR

  • Member
  • Posts: 124
  • Nothing changes unless you change something
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #7 on: January 15, 2013, 01:05:08 PM »
Dear Mark I am close to My Mom and am trying to help Her as She gets older.  I thought I would be gone by before now.  It is wonderful that You are still around to help Her thru this horrible time. I don't. Know You but included You in My prayers.

Hugs Bobby
Hiv+ 1986
Isentress
Truvada

Bobby

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2013, 04:20:39 PM »
Mark
I can relate to what you say.  My Mom died in 2007 and I am still experiencing anxiety and stress.
Take care of yourself.
Peace.

Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline mitch777

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,596
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2013, 05:19:08 PM »
Mark,
Sorry to hear it has gotten to this point.
My partner's mom had bone cancer and was put in hospice care.
They entire family was greatful for having the support.

I have been thinking of you since you first told us what you have been going through.
Please take care of yourself!
32 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline Buckmark

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Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #10 on: January 15, 2013, 06:21:43 PM »
Mark,

Please know that I'll be thinking of you, even if you're not posting here.  I'm sorry you are having to go through this difficult time with your mother. 

Hugs,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,218
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #11 on: January 15, 2013, 06:25:42 PM »
Mark,

Our hearts goes out to you, your sister and mother. We will keep all three of you in our thoughts. Over the past 12 years, Ed and I, have dealt with loosing our parents, my sister, Ed's brother. It is so emotionally and physically draining, so please take some time out for yourselves, during this difficult period.



Please take care/ Stay strong-----Ray and ( Ed)
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,274
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2013, 08:54:26 PM »
Mark,

I am so sorry to read about your mother.  Of course your mind and emotions will take flight during this trying time and posting here will likely, at times, be the last thing you may want to do.

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Best.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaŪto frito."

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,975
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2013, 09:28:32 PM »
Mark, damn.  So sorry to read this sad news.  Both my parents died within the past 5 years so I know how emotional the process is.

Hospice is wonderful.  I helped take care of my parents in their last days, with Hospice also involved.  They keep the patient's comfort at the forefront which is really the ultimate goal. 

I will certainly be thinking about you, your sister and mother.  Please take care.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline pozniceguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,181
  • Niceguy Dallas
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #14 on: January 17, 2013, 12:14:05 AM »
Mark , such a hard  thing to  admit you cant do it all  any more...the Hospice folks  took  really good care of my Mom, two  Brothers in law and  My younger  sister over the past 3 years.... you need  to be sure to  take care of yourself..... I will  be  thinking of you and hope you allow yourself some slack for  not being able to  do it all .....happy  to  chat anytime

Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
Le stelle la notte sono grandie luminose, nel cuore profondo del Texas

Offline AlanBama

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  • Posts: 3,642
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2013, 04:02:42 PM »
Oh Mark, I am so sorry....

my experiences with hospice have all pretty much been positive, and I hope yours will also.

Wishing you strength and fortitude, and praying for a peaceful and merciful transition for your Mom.

Love, Alan   :'(
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline LongTimeSurvivor

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  • Posts: 194
  • I don'no...there may be Zombears...in theres...
Re: I may not be around much in the near future . . .
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2013, 08:09:03 PM »
Mark,

Sorry to hear the news about your mother. Several members of my extended family have had to make the same decision. I hope you don't feel like you've failed in anyway. It's hard enough dealing with the situation as it is without adding weight that shouldn't be on your shoulders.

Take your time. We'll still be here...

Dean
Of course it's important. It's an email...

 


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