Main Forums > I Just Tested Poz

Now I am poz too

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positivelynerd:
I'm sorry about your diagnosis homopoz.  But you've come to a good place. 

I was diagnosed in September '12, and felt exactly the same as you- continued on with life as normal, feeling empty inside.  But trust me and everyone else on here when I say it gets better. 

You've already made a big step by coming here and telling us your story, don't underestimate this.  These forums have provided a wealth of information for me and thousands of others.  I agree with BlueSkies: read and become informed, but don't overwhelm yourself.  You can get lost.  Knowledge is power, but too much can be toxic.  And talk to someone.  Have you told any friends?  Family?  I felt very empowered by telling the right people.  They were incredibly supportive, warm, compassionate.  It made me not feel so different, made me feel worthy of love.

Your CD4 is in a great place and will increase once you start treatment.  Don't worry about the little things with your body, you'll only stress yourself out!  People get sick, they cough, they sneeze, get pimples (especially when stressed!), you're human.

Your confidence will return in time.  There's a lot of stigma in the community and this is reflected in your own attitudes towards positive guys.  Unfortunately, this keeps people from getting tested, treated, and talking about STIs and safer sex practices.

You've been diagnosed and now you can start on your road to a long, healthy life.  Try and keep your mind occupied with good thoughts- you caught this early, there's lots of treatment options, you have a job, keep your chin up.  You've got a great life ahead of you.  =)

Again, welcome.  Good luck.  Good health.  Keep us updated on your progress.

-PositivelyNerd

Homopoz:
Again thank you, everyone, for support! I told my partner about my status, and that is all... He has been very supportive, but I find it so uncomfortable to talk to him about my illness.. when he says something about my status, I feel it so surreal that I want to change the subject of conversation.
Today I am meeting with one of the support group coordinators... He will be my first person who I will talk about myself face to face...

Homopoz:
Met with the guy from aids support group. It made me feel good and sad.. Good because he was poz too and knew what I had been going thru, sad because I realized that my world will never be the same... Signed up for a seminar and looking forward to it...

thunter34:

--- Quote from: Homopoz on January 14, 2013, 10:35:46 AM ---Physically I am feeling ok... But any cough, sneeze, headache, pimple on my skin makes me wonder
From sexually and emotionally confident man with six packs, I turned into an insecure lifeless creature.... I am afraid of looking at other guys, knowing that nobody would want me anymore..
--- End quote ---

As we say around here...Barbara, please.

I can still hail quality dick faster than a taxi cab here in Atlanta, and I'm betting I'm older and less runway ready than you are, Mr. Six Pack Abs.

The one who doesn't want you right now is you. You're just in a state of trauma.  It will pass.  You will bounce back.  There will be some rejection from some - I won't bullshit you on that.  But you'll learn to navigate.

Besides...it sounds like you already have a partner, so apparently there's already preliminary penis at the ready.

Things could definitely be worse.

Homopoz:
Thank you, thunter34! I guess, you are right... But any rejection can be a blow to one's heart... Probably, I will learn eventually to navigate thru but now I even dont feel any sexual desire..

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