Main Forums > I Just Tested Poz

Now I am poz too

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Homopoz:
On january 3, 2013, I found out that I got hiv... So it is a week since I have been diagnozed. I have been going thru a quiet hell, going to work, living my life like nothing happened to me.... But inside I am feeling rotten.... Every thing about my feeling not good freaks me out - is it hiv related or not? Am I showing any signs of being sick? Does anyone sense that I am not ok? My cd4 is 379.. Is it still ok before I see a doctor on january 30?
I used to avoid anyone who was hiv poz, now I am one of them...

Buckmark:

--- Quote from: Homopoz on January 11, 2013, 10:56:12 AM ---On january 3, 2013, I found out that I got hiv... So it is a week since I have been diagnozed. I have been going thru a quiet hell, going to work, living my life like nothing happened to me.... But inside I am feeling rotten.... Every thing about my feeling not good freaks me out - is it hiv related or not? Am I showing any signs of being sick? Does anyone sense that I am not ok? My cd4 is 379.. Is it still ok before I see a doctor on january 30?
I used to avoid anyone who was hiv poz, now I am one of them...

--- End quote ---

For what it's worth, everything you are going through since receiving your diagnosis seems pretty typical, to me.  It's life-changing, certainly, and it's only been a week.  You'll need to educate yourself, and find people to talk to about this.  Keeping it bottled up inside you doesn't work.

Regarding that statement I highlighted in your psot, about avoiding poz people, it's not clear to me why you would have take this approach, but it suggests you had some irrational fear of HIV and HIV+ people.  You're going to have to learn that there is nothing wrong with HIV+ people just because they have HIV -- because as you said, you are one of them now.  If you think of yourself as someone to avoid, you're going to have a tough life.

Oh, with your CD4 of 379, you should be just fine until your appointment with your doctor on January 30.

Regards,

Henry


Homopoz:
Thank you for response! I avoided the hiv poz people because I wanted to reduce my chances of getting the virus... Now I am wondering whether I was right.. I played safe all the time.. Nobody came inside me, nor did I come inside anyone.. I was selective even with those who said they were neg...
I guess, it is useless to think about it but my mind is on it 24/7.

texaninnyc87:
i was the exact same way before i found out. In time you'll think about it less. My cd4s were just under 300 when i first got them tested in early december and my doctor let me wait until after the holidays to start meds so you should be fine. just take good care of yourself in the mean time. welcome to the forums; tons of great info here!

Miss Philicia:

--- Quote from: Homopoz on January 11, 2013, 11:33:49 AM ---Thank you for response! I avoided the hiv poz people because I wanted to reduce my chances of getting the virus... Now I am wondering whether I was right.. I played safe all the time.. Nobody came inside me, nor did I come inside anyone.. I was selective even with those who said they were neg...
I guess, it is useless to think about it but my mind is on it 24/7.

--- End quote ---

Avoiding others with HIV or shooting your load inside or outside is not how one avoids an HIV infection. You avoid it by utilizing a condom consistently and correctly. It's not rocket science.

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