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Author Topic: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!  (Read 7622 times)

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Offline stupidthoughts

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Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« on: October 06, 2012, 04:38:42 AM »
Hi All,
This is a lot of detail, I thought the more detail the better you guys can help me and give me advice. Now sorry if it annoyed you in anyway but im going insane, I cant think, I can barley sleep!!
I have been going through a lot of threads on this forum, and you guys do a great job.

Here's my situation,
I’m a young straight male, Age 21.
I had protected Vaginal sex on September 8 with a sex worker who works in a government owned brothel, I showered and all that before we had sex.
She put a condom on and gave me oral, blowjob. She then put a new condom on me and started to have sex, I was playing around with her clitoris with my finger (no open wound) and then with the tip of my penis (while the condom was still on) I then inserted my penis insider her and i ejaculated quite quickly, i kept thrusting for about 30seconds - 2mins maximum.
Now i was the insertive and was on top. When i pulled out I noticed my ejaculation had moved from the tip “inside” of the condom to the “outside” of the condom on the side, which tells me the condom burst or had a cut somewhere, I tried to find the hole or where the condom was broken but i couldn’t find anything around the tip of the condom.
I asked the sex worker if she had been tested and when she was tested last, she said she was all negative and she got tested 7 days prior. I even called the place up and asked the owner said they must get tested once every 4 weeks and are unable to work unless they have certification from a doctor (a form to show negative results). I have even been calling the place to see If she still works there, They told me she only works on weekends as she studies or something but she has only been there once or twice in the past 3 weeks. This has gotten me even more worried. At the time it all happened I broke into Panic and kept asking her if she was all negative, she kept repeating yes and said she was more vulnerable to catch something off me, rather than other way around, as I ejaculated and my cum would have blocked things from going into my penis/condom. She didn’t seem to stressed or panicked but she knew I was going crazy and tried to calm me down by just talking and she said her health comes first she is young etc etc. But I can’t be too sure…
I went to the doctors to explain my situation to my doctor, she told me Chlamydia is more common in our country (I DON’T LIVE IN AMERICA), so she told me to take some tablets, but to also get a full check up the next day to give me some sort of peace of mind. So i got my blood test 18-19days after possible exposure, The results came back 2 days later everything was negative (test was for  STI, HIV etc). Now i know I need to confirm at 3 months mark.
I called the sexual health clinic for quick counselling, they told me i was probably more safer having sex with a sex worker then someone i meet from a pub/club as they get tested regularly, and that HIV is not common in our country but to test anyway.
I am taking notice on every bit of detail on my body, spots, pimples, itching, ANYTHING!!!


the only things i noticed that where unusual about my body/health are:
-Dry lips
- diarrhea on 24th/25th September
-Really thin layer of white on my tongue which i can’t scratch off with my fingers/teeth, as I’m not sure if it’s me not cleaning my tongue or because i haven’t been eating properly due to stress/anxiety. My doctor said its normal, but I don’t know if its thrush? I just used my toothbrush to clean my tongue it seemed to have cleared up a little ill see if it re-appears
-I get Numb hands when im asleep, and numb feet/legs when I sit in one spot for to long.
-I feel like i don’t want to eat as I’m stressing and I spend most my time searching up things regarding this issue
-I felt like food was stuck in my throat/chest – Asked my doctor she said it was anxiety
-After i got my blood tests back it gave me some sort of peace of mind for about 4-5 days and diarrhea stopped i was eating alot again and didn’t have the food stuck in my throat sensation, but when the girl told me she got a cold sore i started stressing again and i dont feel like eating. (I am hungry I just dont feel like eating) – 3rd October
-slight ache on my thumb where the joint Is leading toward the wrist, which occurred on 2nd October (I was playing sport the previous day - 1st October)
-When I saw my doctor on 5th October. I had a blood blister on the inside of my cheek which my doctor popped and said it was completely normal? and doesn’t relate to STI/HIV. I told her I wanted to get a blood test done at 6 weeks then again at 3 months to keep me calm, but she insisted I didn’t and to just wait for the 3 months mark as its highly unlikely to change, but as u know the mind is very powerful and can drive me insane.
-Mild diarrhea when I first woke up 06th October. Then went again to the toilet about 40mins later loose stools came out.
-People have noticed I look different, like I’m not as loud, and seem depressed/upset/stressed
-I Haven’t had a sore throat/fever (Average temperature of 36.2-36.9 for the fever – I test under my armpit on a daily basis)
-stomach grumbles
-I have this slight tingling/numbness feeling on the tip of my thumb if I apply pressure on it.
1)   What are my chances of getting any form of STI/HIV from this exposure?
2)   Will the girl be ok, and would she get sick before me if I was exposed first?
3)   Do HIV rashes slowly appear, or do they appear over night?
4)   I keep looking on my body for rash’s/marks/sores etc etc I cant find anything. Does this have a strong indication that I will be ok?
5)   I do have minor skin peeling from my hands like very small, is this related to a symptom? Looks like skin bubbles when u rub on something…
6)   How many symptoms would appear? Just 1 or all of them? If more then 1 could you name them?
7)   Everything I have explained, could you please give me your opinion on my situation and symptoms?


edited by Ann to remove personal information
« Last Edit: October 12, 2012, 08:42:00 AM by Ann »

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2012, 07:15:40 AM »
Just to add, I had to go toilet again and was diarrhea. I'm also feeling tired.
Im so scared! please help

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2012, 07:59:57 AM »
Stupid,

1. Exposure? What exposure? You didn't have an exposure with the sex worker.

"I tried to find the hole or where the condom was broken but i couldn’t find anything" When a condom breaks, you don't have to go looking for holes or tears. Broken condoms are VERY noticeable. Yours didn't break.

2. You need to be using condoms with ANYONE you have sex with, not just sex workers. You're far more likely to end up with hiv or another STI from someone you "know" and don't use condoms with. How do you know that she's not already hiv positive and just doesn't know it? You don't. I don't care how well you think you know her, you can't possibly know this information as fact.

3. They don't appear slowly.

4. Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing will.

5. No.

6. Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing will.

7. You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection with the sex worker. However, you DID have a risk when you had unprotected intercourse with the woman you "know" - and with every other woman you've not used condoms with, regardless of what they do for a living or what you think you know about them.

You need to wise up and stop thinking that you're only going to get hiv from a sex worker. You need to protect yourself from hiv and other STIs no matter who you're with.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY FOLLOWING PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2012, 08:18:20 AM »
Stupid,

1. Exposure? What exposure? You didn't have an exposure with the sex worker.

"I tried to find the hole or where the condom was broken but i couldn’t find anything" When a condom breaks, you don't have to go looking for holes or tears. Broken condoms are VERY noticeable. Yours didn't break.

2. You need to be using condoms with ANYONE you have sex with, not just sex workers. You're far more likely to end up with hiv or another STI from someone you "know" and don't use condoms with. How do you know that she's not already hiv positive and just doesn't know it? You don't. I don't care how well you think you know her, you can't possibly know this information as fact.

3. They don't appear slowly.

4. Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing will.

5. No.

6. Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing will.

7. You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection with the sex worker. However, you DID have a risk when you had unprotected intercourse with the woman you "know" - and with every other woman you've not used condoms with, regardless of what they do for a living or what you think you know about them.

You need to wise up and stop thinking that you're only going to get hiv from a sex worker. You need to protect yourself from hiv and other STIs no matter who you're with.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY FOLLOWING PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

Hi Ann,

thanks for your response! you provide specific answers!
But from what i saw my sperm wasn't inside the condom.. it was outside, what i meant was i couldn't see any holes at the tip/top of my penis, however i could be wrong and my eye sight wasnt as good as i thought it was.

It could have broken from the side? assuming it did break, with the information i have given what would you make out of that?

I am actually freaking out and stressing.


Offline Ann

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2012, 09:49:08 AM »
Stupid,

As I said before, a broken condom is VERY obvious and you wouldn't have had to go looking for holes. You would have KNOWN. Broken condoms are not about tiny holes.

It's very possible that the fluid you saw on the outside of the condom was vaginal fluids, not your cum.

You did NOT have a risk with the sex worker. If I were you, I'd be more worried about the unprotected intercourse you have with women you know/date than the protected intercourse you had with a pro - a pro who gets tested every four weeks. When was the last time any of your girlfriends had a FULL sexual health check up, including but not limited to hiv testing? Most of them, probably never. Wise up.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2012, 11:42:56 PM »
Stupid,

As I said before, a broken condom is VERY obvious and you wouldn't have had to go looking for holes. You would have KNOWN. Broken condoms are not about tiny holes.

It's very possible that the fluid you saw on the outside of the condom was vaginal fluids, not your cum.

You did NOT have a risk with the sex worker. If I were you, I'd be more worried about the unprotected intercourse you have with women you know/date than the protected intercourse you had with a pro - a pro who gets tested every four weeks. When was the last time any of your girlfriends had a FULL sexual health check up, including but not limited to hiv testing? Most of them, probably never. Wise up.

Ann

Hi Ann and Andy,

It's taken a while to process the subscription! But its working now.

Ann im 100% sure the condom had a slight tear and it was my fluids im not sure where it was located ? But the condom wasnt completely broken off my penis like a poped baloon,from what i saw the tip of my penis was still covered and couldnt see the tear as i didnt look that much into it but as i stated it wasn from the tip of te condom. Like i said i could have had the exposure for 10seconds - 2mins maybe not even two mins as its just a guess thats the max time i was inside her.
I tested negative for all STI/Hiv at 18 days after exposure.
Im frightened/scared/stupid/worried/anxiety/paranoia - i havent eaten a proper meal in the last 5 weeks!

Now i know you said i didnt hve an exposure as you're assuming the condom didnt tear.

Could you asses my exposure, and provide me with some advice, i havent slept in 3 days.

Now with that girl i know she is a close friend and has only had sex with me from my understanding, could i have passed it onto her after 6 days with me having no symptoms assuming my viral load was low of i was exposed and i tested negative at the 18 day mark.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2012, 12:45:35 AM »
I can only way what we always say when someone has a condom break:

A) The condom protected you until it broke.

B) HIV is SIGNIFICANTLY more difficult to transmit from female to male. Your urethra is the vulnerable spot in your penis insofar as HIV is concerned. Yours remained covered.

C) In my ten-ish years answering questions on this forum I have NEVER seen a male test positive following a condom break. Neither have the other moderators. It would be prety much unheard of if you were to be the first.

While it is prudent get tested, it's highly unlikely that the event as you described it will result in HIV transmission. As your event was roughly six weeks ago, you can get a rapid test next week and it will be all but conclusive.  Of course, only a three month test is currently considered definitive.



"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2012, 03:12:39 AM »
 :-X
I can only way what we always say when someone has a condom break:

A) The condom protected you until it broke.

B) HIV is SIGNIFICANTLY more difficult to transmit from female to male. Your urethra is the vulnerable spot in your penis insofar as HIV is concerned. Yours remained covered.

C) In my ten-ish years answering questions on this forum I have NEVER seen a male test positive following a condom break. Neither have the other moderators. It would be prety much unheard of if you were to be the first.

While it is prudent get tested, it's highly unlikely that the event as you described it will result in HIV transmission. As your event was roughly six weeks ago, you can get a rapid test next week and it will be all but conclusive.  Of course, only a three month test is currently considered definitive.

Jk/Ann/Andy,

(Jk, thanks for replying quite quickly)

I went to my doctors 18 days after exposure and they tested me - all came back negative, i went back 2 weeks later to ask if i could get another test at 6 weeks, my doctor kept telling me to just wait it out till the 3 month mark and it was highly unlikely to change.
I even went to the sexual health clinic to try and get a test scheduled there, but the nurse said there was no need as she has been in this field for almost 12 year which she sees a lot of data/statistics and she strictly said i am not going to test you as sex workers are more safe and get tested regularly and MUST get tested every 4 weeks, and you probably done a better move going to a sex worker then going out to a club/pub and having sex with a girl from there and HIV is not common in our country nor in sex workers - HIV in our country is more common in Men who have sex with Men, needle sharing (drug users) and unprotected sex vaginal/anal. the nurse then referred me to "Counseling" now i doubt this will help me stress less and remove my anxiety, only testing will at the 6-7 week mark.

I am more stressed about my friend then i am about myself, that's what is killing me inside! I couldnt live with infecting her., she is unaware of any of this. She is amazing in every way I can't believe I put her in this situation. I feel like I want to commit suicide.

1) Do you think the 18 days test is a good sign that i will remain to come out negative?

2) Could i have infected my friend 6 days after possible exposure, with only spending 5-10 seconds in her vagina unprotected without ejaculating but had precum and tested negative with all sti/hiv(18 days after exposure) but 12 days after having sex with her ?

3) Is my exposure/situation worse or less compared to the condom breakages you have seen on this forum? If you could rate it on a scale from 1-10  (10 being worse)

4) The only things i can relate to HIV transmission symptom wise is, diarrhea and a thin layer of white on my tongue (i dont know if i have a white tongue because i haven't eaten). And i know you don't go by symptoms here but if you could evaluate this, it would be great? Is this HIV specific? I have not had a rash/sore throat/ fever. However i have had a loss appetite - what would cause this? at work today people said i don't look the same, i look tired and constant worry.

5) Can i edit my opening post on this thread?


Thanks
« Last Edit: October 12, 2012, 05:52:39 AM by stupidthoughts »

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2012, 07:56:39 AM »
stupid,

1. Yes, all things considered.

2. Newly infected people often have the highest viral load they'll ever have so yes, if you were newly infected you put her at great risk. The VL can be in the millions while a person is still testing antibody positive. Sorry if that increases your anxiety, but that's the facts and well, you asked. However, you were highly unlikely to have been infected.

3. It's definitely a 1, if not a zero.

4. BlahBlahBlah. Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status. ONLY testing at the appropriate time will. None of your symptoms are hiv specific, but they rarely are. Primary hiv symptoms are flu-like (if they happen at all, they often don't) and that's about as unspecific as you can get.

5. You can't, but I can. Send me a PM if it's that important - but don't expect me to answer any additional questions via PM. That must be done here in the public forum.

You are highly unlikely to end up positive over this (what I believe to be) imagined condom break. The important thing is that the head of your penis was covered.

However, you REALLY need to wise up and start using condoms with the women you date (or have as fuck-buddies). It's not WHO you do, it's HOW you do it that matters. Make sure you keep those three letters in the correct order when thinking about protecting your sexual health.

By the way, the nurse is correct about the demographics of hiv in your country. However, the rates of things like chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis are right in line with the rest of the world. While you may not be particularly likely to encounter an hiv positive sexual partner, all bets are off when it comes to other STIs. They often don't have obvious symptoms, so the only way to know is regular testing.

Don't forget that the other STIs are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv - and that's why they're so much more prevalent world-wide. Untreated STIs can cause problems down the road like infertility problems, a form of arthritis, and in the case of untreated syphilis, madness and death. Some strains of HPV can cause cancer and death. Hiv isn't the only dangerous STI out there and you'd do well to remember that fact.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2012, 08:48:38 AM »
stupid,

1. Yes, all things considered.

2. Newly infected people often have the highest viral load they'll ever have so yes, if you were newly infected you put her at great risk. The VL can be in the millions while a person is still testing antibody positive. Sorry if that increases your anxiety, but that's the facts and well, you asked. However, you were highly unlikely to have been infected.

3. It's definitely a 1, if not a zero.

4. BlahBlahBlah. Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status. ONLY testing at the appropriate time will. None of your symptoms are hiv specific, but they rarely are. Primary hiv symptoms are flu-like (if they happen at all, they often don't) and that's about as unspecific as you can get.

5. You can't, but I can. Send me a PM if it's that important - but don't expect me to answer any additional questions via PM. That must be done here in the public forum.

You are highly unlikely to end up positive over this (what I believe to be) imagined condom break. The important thing is that the head of your penis was covered.

However, you REALLY need to wise up and start using condoms with the women you date (or have as fuck-buddies). It's not WHO you do, it's HOW you do it that matters. Make sure you keep those three letters in the correct order when thinking about protecting your sexual health.

By the way, the nurse is correct about the demographics of hiv in your country. However, the rates of things like chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis are right in line with the rest of the world. While you may not be particularly likely to encounter an hiv positive sexual partner, all bets are off when it comes to other STIs. They often don't have obvious symptoms, so the only way to know is regular testing.

Don't forget that the other STIs are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv - and that's why they're so much more prevalent world-wide. Untreated STIs can cause problems down the road like infertility problems, a form of arthritis, and in the case of untreated syphilis, madness and death. Some strains of HPV can cause cancer and death. Hiv isn't the only dangerous STI out there and you'd do well to remember that fact.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

Ann,

I appreciate your feedback it has made me relax a little, but as you know only testing negative will calm the mind.
I have never had unprotected sex besides with this girl (my good friend), never done drugs (shared needles) so i hope i come out of this okay.
I have a counseling session scheduled for next week i will probably attend and see what they can do to help me relax.

1) Just to clarify on your answer for question 2) if the viral load is so high when you are newly infected why doesn't it get picked up in the blood test sooner (instead of waiting for the 12 week mark)? I am assuming the viral load is the HIV infection?

2) The sex worker is working again this weekend from what i can see on the website, I assume this is a good sign that she is negative as she would have to get tested every 4 weeks and its been more then 4 weeks since my exposure, do you think that's some what reassuring she is negative in STI/HIV?


I understand HIV is not the only thing to test for, as i will be doing my next test for all STI/HIV again hopefully i can convince the counselor to allow me to get a blood test at 6-7 weeks then confirmed at 12 weeks.

Well Ann, I sure hope i imagined a broken (slight tear or burst) condom!!!!! I hope it didn't break at all but i'm sure it did.

Anyways I will leave at this for now unless i have anymore questions, and i will update how i go with the counselor.



Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2012, 09:03:09 AM »
Ann has been very detailed in responding about your very possibly imagined condom break. Even if the condom did break that would have been a low level risk.

Never mind about more possible questions. You need to wait until you can get tested and confirm what I expect will be your negative HIV status.

We're not here to indulge you in every what if and but but question which comes to your mind. You need to make a real effort to focus on other matters in your life while waiting to test. And don't bother saying that you're too worried to do that because that response is not going to fly here. Just do it and you may well be amazed at how much more easily the waiting time will pass.

At the end of which like Ann I expect you to test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2012, 09:12:27 AM »
Ann has been very detailed in responding about your very possibly imagined condom break. Even if the condom did break that would have been a low level risk.

Never mind about more possible questions. You need to wait until you can get tested and confirm what I expect will be your negative HIV status.

We're not here to indulge you in every what if and but but question which comes to your mind. You need to make a real effort to focus on other matters in your life while waiting to test. And don't bother saying that you're too worried to do that because that response is not going to fly here. Just do it and you may well be amazed at how much more easily the waiting time will pass.

At the end of which like Ann I expect you to test negative.


Andy,

I guess I could be over exaggerating but it's not a matter wheree I can relax over as its still a risk a low level risk as you stated.
However, I have been called a hypochondriac.

Thanks for all your support guys you do a great job on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2012, 09:27:38 AM »
Yes, you are definitely overreacting and yes, I do expect you to ultimately test negative.
Andy Velez

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2012, 10:13:24 PM »
Ha........ I had a dream/nightmare about hiv.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #14 on: October 12, 2012, 10:44:36 PM »
Ha........ I had a dream/nightmare about hiv.

Hey I get those when I've had too much mexican food/tequila.

Doesn't mean anything.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

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Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #15 on: October 13, 2012, 10:16:38 PM »
Hey I get those when I've had too much mexican food/tequila.

Doesn't mean anything.

Yes it does mean something, I think its an indication i am suffering from anxiety, depression and this is stuffing up my life in every way possible - haven't studied, I don't even want to go to work, I haven't eaten, I'm isolating myself and constantly asking questions to reassure myself i will be okay.

I now have a feeling in my throat what feels like food is stuck in there.I have been thinking about this disease for the past 35 days 24/7...

1) Do you think its a strong statement my doctor/nurse didn't want to test me - as it isn't "common" in my country and she is making the assumption i am not infected and referred me to counseling instead of a blood test?

That being said i agree that i need help, professional help to ensure I overcome these fears and guilt that i have put my friend in a bad position who isn't even aware of this whole thing.

I am sorry if this has annoyed you in any way possible, But i have no-one else to talk to or to express my feelings. I'm lonely and scared.



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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #16 on: October 14, 2012, 12:10:51 AM »
You haven't annoyed me. I simply think your anxieties are getting the best of you.

I expect you to test negative.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

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Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #17 on: October 14, 2012, 01:23:08 AM »
You haven't annoyed me. I simply think your anxieties are getting the best of you.

I expect you to test negative.

Thank You Jk,

:(

Last and final question.
The incident i had with my friend, when i had pre-cum I believe it occurred while my penis was still in my pants it was due to both of us getting sexual when i was performing cunnilingus (licking her out) whilst my penis was still in my pants, then I started to rub my penis against her vagina, which then led to her grabbing my penis and inserted it while the same pre-cum was still on my penis, then i removed my penis literally 5 seconds after give or take.

-How long would the disease live (I'm assuming the disease was outside the human body but still on my penis) if the pre-cum occurred when my penis was still in my pants, then 30 seconds or so later rubbing it against her clitoris, then inserting it about 10 seconds later for approx 5 seconds?


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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #18 on: October 14, 2012, 01:50:32 AM »
HIV absolutely cannot be transmitted outside the body in Earth's atmosphere. It requires an anaerobic environment, and the fragile "spikes" that allow it to inject it's material into a cell disintegrate rather close to instantly.

There is absolutely no way that what you described is any risk whatsoever.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

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Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #19 on: October 14, 2012, 02:08:54 AM »
HIV absolutely cannot be transmitted outside the body in Earth's atmosphere. It requires an anaerobic environment, and the fragile "spikes" that allow it to inject it's material into a cell disintegrate rather close to instantly.

There is absolutely no way that what you described is any risk whatsoever.

OMG, thank you so so much jk!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that has calmed me down a lot now.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2012, 02:11:08 AM by stupidthoughts »

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #20 on: October 14, 2012, 09:59:37 PM »
HIV absolutely cannot be transmitted outside the body in Earth's atmosphere. It requires an anaerobic environment, and the fragile "spikes" that allow it to inject it's material into a cell disintegrate rather close to instantly.

There is absolutely no way that what you described is any risk whatsoever.

Hi all,

Do you think if i get a blood test done at 39 days (5 weeks and 4 days) is just as effective as a test at 42days (6weeks). The reason why im asking is because i have a counceling session in 2 days at the sexual health clinic (which is 39 days after possible exposure) and if i can get a blood test done then should i scrap the 6 week test and just confirm the 39 day test at 12 weeks ?
Also the 42 exposure would be on a weekend which means ill have to wait an extra 2 days to go back and get a test done. Should i wait it out to 44 days or just get it done at 39 days.

Your thoughts are appreciated.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2012, 10:02:18 PM by stupidthoughts »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #21 on: October 14, 2012, 11:21:47 PM »
You didn't do anything to put yourself at risk.

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #22 on: October 15, 2012, 02:20:51 AM »
You didn't do anything to put yourself at risk.

What makes you say that Rod?

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #23 on: October 15, 2012, 06:27:01 AM »
Stupid,

Sure. Test at 39 days and collect your negative result, and test again at three months to confirm it.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #24 on: October 16, 2012, 02:15:05 AM »
Stupid,

Sure. Test at 39 days and collect your negative result, and test again at three months to confirm it.

Ann

I noticed a had a minor rash looking spots just below my armpit, there's approx 4 spots it's not red it looks purplish like an off skin colour. It's very minor, I'm not sure of that's considered as a rash, but is that a hiv rash ?
And, Would hiv cause excessive stomach noises and burping with no stomach pain?
« Last Edit: October 16, 2012, 05:26:53 AM by stupidthoughts »

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #25 on: October 17, 2012, 06:07:28 AM »
I went to the sexual health clinic this morning for counseling, it was some what a waste of time, saying I'm over reacting, and are going of statistics and data for sex workers results - they said below 100 women tested positive in out country last year and is high unlikely i caught anything. And refused to test me.
I dont understand how they would know my status going of data and statistics and experience............... They also said its guilt that is killing me inside to how i went out side my friends and I relationship and done this stupid act. Yes its guilt but also Worry!!!
I think HIV is haunting me, I was just watching a movie and it had a scene of a gay man being "HIV POSITIVE"
This is really freaking me out over a stupid decision i had made and regret it in every aspect. I feel like everything is a sign to me being HIV positive, for example the scene in the movie..

I dont know what to do anymore :( I cant go on with my life for 6 and a half more weeks not knowing and dealing with this worry and anxiety.


« Last Edit: October 17, 2012, 06:17:16 AM by stupidthoughts »

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #26 on: October 17, 2012, 07:08:28 AM »
Stupid,

Stop with the magical thinking already. You're not seeing signs that you're hiv positive, you're just hyper aware of anything to do with hiv right now. All for no good reason.

You're paying attention to all these imaginary signs that you're hiv positive, all the while ignoring what health care professionals and sexual health counselors have been repeatedly telling you - you are not going to end up hiv positive when you haven't even had a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #27 on: October 17, 2012, 09:53:27 PM »
Stupid,

Stop with the magical thinking already. You're not seeing signs that you're hiv positive, you're just hyper aware of anything to do with hiv right now. All for no good reason.

You're paying attention to all these imaginary signs that you're hiv positive, all the while ignoring what health care professionals and sexual health counselors have been repeatedly telling you - you are not going to end up hiv positive when you haven't even had a risk.

Ann

Ann/rod/andy/jk,

Ive noticed i have very small red dots under my armpit theres about 7
Very small bright red dots they arnt bumps and are under the skin. There is also one dot on my chest and 2 near my rib cage on the same side lf the armpit and also one on my neck. What does the hiv rash look like ? Is there different types of rashs ? From what ive described is that a hiv rash?

Im pretty sure these have just recently appeared as i havent noticed these befor.

Ive booked an appointment with a differeny doctor next week who
I use to see more often, im gona see what he thinks it is and see if he can test me.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #28 on: October 18, 2012, 02:29:15 AM »
Your drama is exhausting to me - I can only imagine what it's doing to you.

You are becoming a person obsessed with HIV. Stop it. By any means necessary.

I suggest a professional counselor who uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

This forum is not the place for that sort of treatment, and we will not indulge perpetual hand-wringing over a NO RISK situation.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #29 on: November 07, 2012, 03:05:28 AM »
Your drama is exhausting to me - I can only imagine what it's doing to you.

You are becoming a person obsessed with HIV. Stop it. By any means necessary.

I suggest a professional counselor who uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

This forum is not the place for that sort of treatment, and we will not indulge perpetual hand-wringing over a NO RISK situation.


Hi All,

Thought id give everyone an update. I had a blood test done at 44 days, the results came back within one day, and it came back negative. My doctor told me the negative result was conclusive.
Could you please help me understand a little more about the blood test i got taken as i am little confused as i thought it takes 12 weeks for a conclusive result? I mentioned this to him, he then replied that is for test that look for the antibodies (what your immune system creates to fight the infection), the test you have taken is called a "HIV SEROLOGY" which looks for the antibodie and the antigen. This is considered conclusive at 6 weeks.
I've been having some stomach pains, which sometimes moves around my body, and a slight tightness feeling on my arm/upperback whenever i move it around it feels like its the muscle. Is this related to HIV in anyway?

Is it time to put this behind me and move on? do i need to still be worried and re-test at 3 months?

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #30 on: November 07, 2012, 04:56:49 AM »
Stupid,

The main reason your test result is conclusive is because YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK for hiv infection.

You don't have hiv - no surprise there - and yes, you need to move on with your life.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #31 on: November 07, 2012, 06:10:27 PM »
Stupid,

The main reason your test result is conclusive is because YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK for hiv infection.

You don't have hiv - no surprise there - and yes, you need to move on with your life.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann

Hi,

The doctor didnt say its conclusive because i didnt have a risk.
He simply said this test is conclusive from 2 weeks as it looks for the virus itself along with the antobodies.
How quick can the virus itself be identified via Blood test?
Going from what the doctor said i have made the assumption its 12 weeks for the "antibodies" to be detected via blood test not the virus itself (meaning the virus can be detected as early as 2 weeks)?
Is the doctor correct about 6 weeks is considered conclusive with that type of test?
Also could you please answer afew questions.
1) Is stomach pain hiv symptom?
2) It usually moves to my back when i change position? I have had the pain for a couple days now..
3) And, muscle pain when i apply pressure or move to where the muscle feels stiff
(not all over my body, just on my left arm and under my left foot where the small toe is)

4) Would symptoms show this late 7-8 weeks ?
« Last Edit: November 08, 2012, 01:49:02 AM by stupidthoughts »

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #32 on: November 08, 2012, 06:53:26 AM »
Stupid,

I don't care why the doctor told you whatever - I told you that your test result is conclusive because you didn't have a risk. We have been telling you that you DID NOT HAVE A RISK for over a month now.

He's also wrong when he told you that the test you took also looks for the virus itself. It doesn't. It looks for antibodies and a specific antigen (p24) that only appears in the two to three weeks before enough antibodies are developed to trigger a reactive (positive) result.

The p24 antigen can be picked up in tests at around two to three weeks. Antibodies can be picked up in tests from around three to six weeks.

The virus itself can be picked up within a week or so, but we do not recommend these tests (PCR) because they are often wrong, are in no way conclusive, and must be confirmed with antibody and Western Blot testing anyway. They're expensive, so don't waste your money when you never even had a risk.

While a six week negative antibody result is highly unlikely to change, only a three month negative is conclusive.

1. NO.

2. Take your stomach pain to a doctor (a competent one). Whatever is going on has nothing to do with a virus for which you have not been at risk.

3. So what. It has nothing to do with a virus for which you have not been at risk.

4. No.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #33 on: November 10, 2012, 08:24:02 PM »
Stupid,

I don't care why the doctor told you whatever - I told you that your test result is conclusive because you didn't have a risk. We have been telling you that you DID NOT HAVE A RISK for over a month now.

He's also wrong when he told you that the test you took also looks for the virus itself. It doesn't. It looks for antibodies and a specific antigen (p24) that only appears in the two to three weeks before enough antibodies are developed to trigger a reactive (positive) result.

The p24 antigen can be picked up in tests at around two to three weeks. Antibodies can be picked up in tests from around three to six weeks.

The virus itself can be picked up within a week or so, but we do not recommend these tests (PCR) because they are often wrong, are in no way conclusive, and must be confirmed with antibody and Western Blot testing anyway. They're expensive, so don't waste your money when you never even had a risk.

While a six week negative antibody result is highly unlikely to change, only a three month negative is conclusive.

1. NO.

2. Take your stomach pain to a doctor (a competent one). Whatever is going on has nothing to do with a virus for which you have not been at risk.

3. So what. It has nothing to do with a virus for which you have not been at risk.

4. No.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

I don't understand why you keep saying it was a no risk situation, when i've previously stated the condom had a rip?

Can you give me specifics on people who have tested negative at 6 weeks, then tested positive by the 13 week mark?
Why would they be a late seroconversion?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #34 on: November 10, 2012, 08:37:23 PM »
You never had an exposure. You didn't have a condom failure. If your condom had failed you would have ended up with your bare dick in your hand and you didn't. Now move along.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #35 on: November 10, 2012, 10:26:14 PM »
You said:

Quote
I don't understand why you keep saying it was a no risk situation, when i've previously stated the condom had a rip?

But you said:

Quote
When i pulled out I noticed my ejaculation had moved from the tip “inside” of the condom to the “outside” of the condom on the side, which tells me the condom burst or had a cut somewhere, I tried to find the hole or where the condom was broken but i couldn’t find anything around the tip of the condom.


You have convinced yourself that you had a condom break when, in fact, you did not. You are HIV negative. You maintain a situation that simply did not happen, by your OWN EXAMINATION.

I think we have given you all the information you require to go on with your life. Please understand that, though we sympathize with what has quickly eroded into an unhealthy obsession with HIV, we can not provide the counseling you seem to require.

Please note the following from the "Welcome" thread:

Quote
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

As the facts you stated, and the situation you described has been thoroughly addressed, I am excusing myself from this conversation at this point. I hope you find peace.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline stupidthoughts

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #36 on: January 24, 2013, 07:02:42 AM »
Hi All,

Sorry to be a pest... Please dont ban me.
As you guys told me i had to try move on and i did avoid posting for a couple months. however, once again find myself on here worried about my sickness and hope you guys could help me.
I took a HIV test at 11 weeks and about 3 days just to make sure and all came out negative.

I woke up on 22/01/13 feeling a little sick, i felt like i had a lot of phlegm, i thought maybe i was coming up with a cold.. I felt a little better the next day and all.
Today I thought I'd head down to the doctors just to make sure i was all good, he said it was just a basic flu/cold doesnt seem to be much congestion etc.. and to just rest up for a couple days.
When I woke up this morning, i woke up with a grumbling stomach and no sore throat , at first i thought i was hungry, and didn't eat breaky and just went straight to the doctors as i stated above^^ (so doctor doesnt know about the below..)
when i tried to eat later in the afternoon i had to go straight to the toilet (diarrhea) i went to the toilet a total of 4 times today whenever i try to eat anything it just comes straight out literally have to go to the toilet 5 minutes after i eat something, 3 of those time where loose/watery stools, I also vomited twice (nausea) later today.. I still feel like my stomach feels sour, and grumbling...
Now if you recall my "exposure" i had on september 8th (138 days ago) I automatically thought oh god.. is this related to it, my doctor said it wouldn't be related as they usually take 6 weeks as a conclusive result because of the tests these days are much more sensitive, and a negative at 2,6 and 11.5 days is reassuring.
But i had a few questions..

1) "what if" i was just briefly exposed, as my baredick wasn't showing but the condom had a rip, would it take longer for the HIV virus to be detectable on a blood test ( longer then 11 weeks and 3 days)?

2) do my symptoms (nausea, diarrhea, minor sore throat, phlegm) relate to my exposure?

3) would symptoms show at 138 days after exposure (close to 5 months ago)



Some days i go by without thinking about it, some days i stress over it.. I have been praying to god every night since it happened and i just hope he looks after me.

I have seen three doctors just to get different opinions over the last 5 months, and i have been told two different things..

1 doctor told me that i can keep testing as there is no really duration to tell if you are conclusively negative, and said if i wanted i could do it every 3 months.
2 doctors, told me that the tests are very sensitive and its conclusive after 2-6 weeks.

could you please educate me on the above?
« Last Edit: January 24, 2013, 07:33:34 AM by stupidthoughts »

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom breakage with sex worker! HELP!!
« Reply #37 on: January 24, 2013, 08:48:58 AM »
Stupid,

1. NO.

2. NO.

3. NO.

You do NOT have hiv. You never had a risk in the first place.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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