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I never thought this would happen!

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So here's my story...

I'm an Australian who grew up in country NSW. I've never really been exposed to HIV in terms of understanding it and never thought I would end up with it! I must say that most of my life I was ignorant to the possibility that I could ever get it. I've had minimal partners and mostly in long term relationships (2).

A year ago I moved from Australia to Papua New Guinea, it's quite a different place as you might imagine. When you hop of the plane and walk out of the airport you are greeted with a huge billboard that loosely translates to "watch out or you'll get aids". This was quite confronting for me, yet I still never imagined it would ever effect me. (till now I still had never met anyone who I knew had it or was effected in any way by it).

Move on 6 months or so, I had a chance meeting with a guy. This guy took my breath away. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. I knew right from the beginning that this was going to lead to something more. We were lucky enough to be able to spend a couple of days together (we live in separate towns). When I was back home, I received a call from him. He sounded quite nervous and eventually blurted out to me that he was HIV positive. My immediate reaction was not what I though it would be. It didn't change the way I felt and I thought; ok, it's just something that we will deal with. Coincidentally, in the weeks prior another friend of mine had been discussing with me his concerns about a guy he had met in Australia that was HIV positive and how he was handling it. I had already done some research etc, after my discussions with my friend. So, here I was, mostly still ignorant to it, faced with a decision. Do I open my mind up and open my heart up to what could be the best thing that ever happened? or do I run away from it? I decided quickly, that this relationship was worth any risk involved. We talked openly about our concerned and came up with a plan on what we would and wouldn't do to ensure that I remained negative. We booked an appointment with a Doctor (three months later) in Australia. Flew down and had a discussion. Basically to ease both our minds that we could have a healthy relationship and I still stay negative. The appointment went very well and I walked away feeling very comfortable with everything. During the consultation the Doctor did a standard HIV test on me. and advised I should get them regularly moving forward.

I didn't give it a second thought, there was no way in my mind that I could have HIV. Well, wasn't I in for a shock three days later when I heard back from the Doctor! A positive result was not what I expected. Although, again, I didn't react the way I thought I would. So far I've been taking it in my stride. We are about to head back to Australia for my follow up test to see my Viral load and CD4 counts etc.

My biggest fear is that at some point I'm going to lose control. I feel like I should be reacting differently. Don't get me wrong, it's ben consuming my mind and I've had my moments. Although I feel like I need to stay strong for my partner. I don't want him to feel as though it's his fault and I know deep down he does. I made the decision to take this risk. We all make those decisions on a daily basis.

Anyway, I just thought I'd put this out there, Would appreciate any feedback from anyone who has been through this.


Welcome to the forums.  Although, we always say we wish you didn't have to join our group.  It seems like you're dealing with this as best as can be expected.  I assume the doc did a western blot to confirm the dx. 

Did your new beau just learn he was poz, or was this a post-sex confession?  When he informed you, were you already outside the 72 hour window for PEP?  Just curious. 

All the best as you process this and navigate learning about all the labs and info. 


welcome to the forums! theres so much great info here. i've learned SO much here and I'm sure you will too. the more you know the less scary all of this is, trust me. It seems like you're handling this WAAAAAAY better than I did, so congrats! I had to get on anxiety medication just to handle my doctors appointments. The first few months I felt like I was in a fog, I couldnt think about anything but my status. Day and night. Couldnt sleep. Convinced myself I had like every opportunistic infection out there. Trust me, it gets better. Now i only think about it HALF the time! Just kidding. You'll get used to it! At least you have a boyfriend to help you through it. It seems like he must be a really great guy for you to go through all of this with him, so you should feel lucky you found each other.It seems like you have a very mature and level headed perspective about all of this. that will help you tons! i was diagnosed in september and im starting meds...tomorrow actually! so feel free to PM me when you get some more posts, if you ever wanna talk or anything! i dated an aussie for 1 year and a half but he got deported. i miss my little bogan! (he hates that i call him that so much but i think its hilarious)

G'day Ted,

Thanks for the welcome.

He has known for about a year or so, he told me about his situation before we engaged in sex. So I entered this knowing the risks. Although, its not like we were reckless. We had been extremely (so I thought) careful.

The doc has done the western blot. I think i'll feel a lot better once I get the other test results etc next week. Just so I know fully where I stand with medication needs...

Thanks again. Cheers.

Welcome, sounds like your handling things pretty well. 


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