HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

Help me pls

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Very worried man760:
Hi, I just want to say thank you for taking time to read this..
I'm sure this come up in other threads and you must get asked about what I'm about to say

3 weeks ago I had sex with a call girl (with condom). She poured a lot of baby oil over my penis with condom on for lube. I must have penetrated her (me on top) for roughly 3 minutes before she asked me she wanted to go on top. She poured more baby oil & we continued with her on top for a further 4 mintues before I came (in condom) inside her.

I took my condom off threw it in the bin & left. However, when She got off I noticed the condom wasn't full rolled out to the base of my penis. Also I noticed some white fluid at the tip.

I got home with all this playing on my mind & decided to google baby oil condom break ect (foolish I know)

With my paranoia I decided to go & get tested however the doctor said It wasn't needed as I had no risk. I presued to tell him about the baby oil & he said it didn't matter. He just wanted me out of there..

Here's my question.. Does baby oil destroy the latex making it possible for a hole to be created at the tip (I think I saw seman)

Could what I have seen thinking it was seman been her juices mixed with baby oil giving the look of seman (sorry for the details)

If there had been a hole or tear for seman to escape could it be possible I was exposed to HIV?

Since my encounter I have had small red bumps appear over various parts of my body, a sore throat and a irritating cough. No swollen lymp node thus far, I do have slight joint pain.

I sent the escort a text informing her that baby oil causes condoms to break - she replied "it wasnt baby oil, it was special oil that doesnt ruin condoms" which is was lie because I clearly read the bottle.. She continued to tell me she's clean as she was tested "last week" & she cares for herself more than her clients. If she did care for her health she would have know the risk of using baby oil..

If I wanted to have a HIV test just for peace of mind is the HIV duo test post 28 days reliable?

I'm sorry to ask the question you probably have asked every other week but I have been worried sick, I haven't eaten since the encounter I can't sleep, Im just thinking the worse. My symptoms don't help because I don't know if it's anxiety or actual ARS..

Please reply. Thank you all

You bring up several questions, but I want to address one point first.

Please don't refer to STD-free people as "clean." Unless, of course, you are referring to their hygeine. I take a shower a day, and I have HIV. Calling a person without HIV
"clean" insinuates that someone with HIV is UNclean. It's offensive and it perpetuates stigma against people with HIV.

That having been said, baby oil - or any lubricant not specifically designed for condom use CAN cause a latex condom to deteriorate. It does NOT, however, cause it to degrade in the fashion that you are afraid it does. When a condom breaks, it does so dramatically. They are designed to fail catastrohpically. If the condom had failed, you would have seen shredded bits of latex and a rubber ring around your penis. Latex condoms do NOT develop small holes through which HIV can pass.

In addition, having the condom slightly unrolled is absolutely not a risk for HIV. The only vulnerable parts of the male genitalia are the urethral opening at the tip of the penis and, in uncircumsized men, sometimes the area under the foreskin. So long as the head of your penis is covered you are entirely protected against HIV.

In short, your sex was protected insofar as HIV is concerned. You have had absolutely NO risk for HIV.

I am sorry your doctor was in too much of a hurry to tell you WHY you had no risk. He was, however, correct in his assessment.

I hope this detailed explanation has been of help.

Very worried man760:

1st of all let me apologies for being a insensitive moron for using the term clean.. A complete moronic thing to say.. please accept my apologize..

Thank you for taking your time to reply to my concern..

So if the condom had failed i would have seen my penis exposed with just the hoop with shredded bits hanging off?..

Are all latex condom failures due to improper use of lube?

I would have thought a HUGE warning message would be plastered across the box to warn the public of baby oil & condoms like the warning message on cigarette packets .. I bet 45% of people that use lube would have no idea the risk of using baby oil on latex condoms..

I'd like to say a BIG thank you for the great work done on this forum. It not only eases peoples anxiety, it also educates people on HIV and the importance of proper use of condoms..

So there's no need for me to test at all?

Thank you jkinatl2

Would you say the red bumps that are sometimes itchy on various part of my body & my cough due to my anxiety?


If you're worried about your red bumps or your cough or feel otherwise unwell, see a doctor. We cannot diagnose you here - but we can tell you that nothing you report sounds remotely like primary hiv infection. Why would it when you had no risk.

Most condom breakages are caused by having an air bubble in the tip.

When putting a condom on, you need to pinch the tip between the finger and thumb of one hand, while rolling it down with the other.

Once it's on, give it a firm stroke from tip to base while watching the tip. If there is air in the tip, you'll see it. If there IS air in the tip, roll it back up and try again.

If it's dark and you can't see the tip well, when you do (what I call) the "stroke test", when you get to the bottom of the stroke, keep a firm grip of the condom and penis at the base and touch the tip with your other hand.

If there IS air present, you'll feel the bubble making the tip stand up and away from the head of the penis. If there IS NO air, the tip will be sucked up tight against the head of the penis.

Once you're sure there is no air bubble in the tip, apply plenty of water-based lube and go for it.

Using no lube at all is also a big cause of condom breakage. If you do not have water-based lube available, use spit. It's better than nothing and better than oil.

As Jonathan said to you, if the baby oil caused your condom to break, you would have known it was broken. It's not about little holes, it's about shreds and big tears. Don't use oil again (and don't let a sex worker use oil) because next time you may not be so lucky.

You only need to test if you're not already in the habit of regular, routine testing. You do not need to test over this specific NO RISK situation.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!


Very worried man760:
Hi Ann,

thank you for your response. I do remember the girl pinching the tip while applying the condom.. The girl has assured me that she was STD tested & all negative the week before my encounter - i'll have to take her word for it.. As my friend pointed out its her business & relies on recommendations & feed back let on her profile.. Also, that i have more chance catching a STD off a girl in a bar rather than a sex worker who uses protection all the time..

If i may ask one last question?.. If a "incident" with the condom did occur, what is the likelihood from 1-10 for transmission with her on top?

I think my bumps or hives are stress / anxiety related.. All i have been doing for the last 3 weeks is looking at ARS symptoms on the internet..

After this post, i'm going to stay away from my laptop..

May i also add the work you all put in to this forum is admirable.. Is there a donation link that i can pledge to?

Thank you once again.. :-)


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