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Author Topic: Have you ever been so convinced?  (Read 1308 times)

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Offline 2scared2die

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Have you ever been so convinced?
« on: December 31, 2012, 12:35:39 PM »
So here is my story, it's long, sorry about that.

4 Weeks ago Sat I away for work and met up with a guy from online.  I'm a bisexual male in a relationship with a woman.   I hardly ever act out on my other sexual side, and my wife is 99% monogamous.  The person I met up with told me his is also in a relationship with a woman and he is bisexual.  I asked when his last encounter was and he said a couple of years ago.  Who knows how true that is.  Mine was 8 months before and involved oral.  I was honest about this.  I told him that I had not done anal since I was a teenager.

Here is the sequence of events.

Friday night: we hook up and we perform mutual fellatio for a few minutes.  Then I put a condom on and try to penetrate, but I can't achieve an erection.  I watch him put the condom on and I ask that he does not ejaculate inside of me.   He says ok.  He penetrates me for about 40 - 50 seconds and says I'm going to cum and pulls out.   I look at the condom, but it doesn't appear broken.  He slowly removes the condom and wraps it up.  I try again to penetrate him, but I could not.   So I perform fellatoi on him, tasting quite a bit of precum.  He says he's going to cum, but doesn't cum in my mouth. 


Saturday Afternoon: About 15 hours later I arrive home and have sex with my wife. 

Sunday Evening: My wife starts feeling terrible with a low grade fever and I feel bad with a low grade fever and a sore throat.

Monday: My wife and I are feeling a bit better.

Tuesday:  My wife is back to normal, and I'm better, but really nervous.

Wednesday:  I start getting frequency urination and painful urination and conjunctivitis.  I'm really freaking out now, my stress level is going through the roof.

I suffer through this throughout the week along with a mild sore throat.  I go to the Doc on Wednesday and they do a urinalysis and it comes back negative for bacterial infection. They do blood work for  HIV, HEP, and the usual urinary gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphillis.   The results come back neg.  Now I'm thinking well 1 week is to soon anyways.   

By the weekend I've had enough so I go to the hospital and the emergency room.  I didn't really notice my sore throat, as my urethritis was bothering me.   I talk to the doc and he looks at my tests and asks me about my symptoms.  I mention the occasional swelling of my knee,  the urethritis, the conjunctivitis and the pains under my feet and he tells me it sounds like  Reiter's Syndrome. 

So I get home and google Reiter's Syndrome and I see a bunch of stuff about Bacterial infections activating the disease, but of course I see HIV.  Now I'm freaking out.


So the following days after that I experience transient lymph node swelling,  behind my knee for an hour, then in between my legs for maybe a few hours.  I'm conflicted because I'm reading about Reiter's syndrome and many who suffer from it have lymph node swelling, usually on one side, as it's an autoimmune disorder.


So week 2 I have a mild persistent sore throat, that I am really obsessing over.  At this point I'm thinking it's ghonorrea, but deep down my brain is screaming HIV.
I keep thinking I'm having night sweats.  I wake up my legs are sweaty and I start to panick and my body gets sweaty.

Week 3:  I still have the persistent sore throat and I can feel transient lymph node swelling behind my leg and in my rib cage. Transient meaning,  it's there for maybe a hour and it goes away. I get this feeling of dread like something is wrong and I should go to the emergency.  I let it ride and it gets better.  I experience what I thought could be a night sweat.  I wake up with this dream feeling thinking here comes the seroconversion night sweat and my body starts to sweat.

It's Christmas time and we are celebrating at work and drinking alcohol relieves the throat pain, but I feel really crappy afterwods even after a few beers.

Week 4:  My throat gets better, then it gets worse and it keeps doing this until it just feels worse all the time. I get the chills and have to sit with my electric blanket.  I obsessively check my temperature and at some point it's down to 94.4.  Lot's of times it's at 95, but mostly it's around 97.5 to 98.   So of course I google low body temperature and they talk about infection and viruses.  Now I know that stress can cause many of these things, but my subconscious won't let this go.
I never run a temperature.

I went to the emergency and gave him my story and he says well might be an STI and gives me 4 of the most painful antibiotic.

I go back to the emergency to get the 2nd day of injection and see a different doc first and give him the full story.   He looks in my throat and see's that it's red, but I have zero lymph node swelling anywhere on my body. 

At this point I am absolutely convinced that I am infected with HIV and am experiencing Acute Retrovial Seroconversion.

I e-mailed the other guy when the painful urination first started because I thought I had gonorrhea and told him he should get tested.  He responded back sometime later saying he got tested and it's all fine, but who really knows if he's lying or not. 
I e-mailed him back again asking about HIV specifically, but I think he's ignoring me.


I know many of you will say it's a no/low risk encounter, but  my brain can't comprehend why my sore throat persists for so long.   Everywhere you go online and you google persistent sore throat they say HIV/AIDS.

My anxiety over this is so bad that I asked the doc for Anti anxiety meds.  This helps me short term, but it's not something I can rely on long term.  It even feels like my sore throat is better when I take this.  I'm not sure if it has some effect on pain or not.


I have never been so convinced of something in my life.   I keep holding on to small threads of hope, but the more I read the more those threads fall. 


Thanks for listening.  Talking about this helps me a bit.

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 24,702
Re: Have you ever been so convinced?
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2012, 03:05:09 PM »
2Scared, you are essentially worrying needlessly about HIV. Condoms were used for actual and attempted anal penetration. They provide very effective protection. Unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse are the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV.

Giving oral sex is only theoretically a risk. Actually your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV. And receiving oral is absolutely not a risk. Period.

If any of your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. HIV is not the cause. And stop googling online about HIV. Going online just feeds your worst fears and all to no good purpose.

It is a bit of red flag when you say your wife is "99% monogamous." Monogamy is like pregnancy. It is or it isn't. There's no in-between. So if you have any doubts about whether you are in a solidly monogamous relationship then you should be using condoms for intercourse.

Lastly, you need to stop responding to other members in their threads. However well intentioned your efforts are, only those who are authorized to respond to other members can post in member threads. You do not have that authorization.

I don't see any need for HIV testing on your part.
Andy Velez

 


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