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Author Topic: meeting new people?  (Read 838 times)

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Offline Bsc86

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
meeting new people?
« on: December 30, 2012, 07:54:19 PM »
Ok...so something I've always struggled with is trying to find new people to hang out with who are also gay. I tried the bar thing, and the Grindr thing, but it seems all everyone wants is to get in your pants. No one's really interested in just talking. Even "dating" sites are the same way. I just want someone to go watch a movie with, or grab a coffee or whatever. I guess I'm old fashioned and don't just want to talk to people online (no offense to anyone here...you guys are great). But how do you find people to talk to that are three-dimensional :P ? I thought about joining a gay bowling league at a bowling alley down the street from my house...but I can't afford it right now (disability kicks in in March), and mom's money only goes so far.


Even online buddies to add to AIM or MSN (does anyone still use those or is everyone using Facebook now?) would be nice.


I sound desperate, but I kind of feel lonely...especially after being diagnosed. It's hard for me to sit at home and not have a lot of people to interact with.
09/25/2012 - Diagnosed. CD4: 8. VL: unknown
Started HAART - Norvir, Prezista, Truvada
10/15/2012 - CD4: 18. VL: unknown (hospital never told me VL counts)
11/28/2012 - CD4: 114 (bad test)
12/08/2012 - CD4: 54, VL: 223
                   Switched to Norvir, Epzicom, and Prezista
01/08/2013 - CD4: 232, VL: 182

Current regimen: Norvir, Prezista, Epzicom

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Re: meeting new people?
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2012, 08:41:07 PM »
Honestly, hon....back in the day when I was somewhat in your spot, I spent a ton of time on here.  This very site was my lifeline, and I literally posted from the toilet on some days (just bein' straight up honest witcha, people!) since that was basically where I was spending entire days.  I was also dealing with rashes and all that skin issue stuff, night sweats and the whole ball of wax.

I understand about the money thing.  I was there, too - for quite some time.  No money to do much of anything.  I don't really know what all you are into as far as a social scene, but in Atlanta there are things like poz pot lucks where if you are willing to whip up or bring in a dish you are in.  You just need to make the initial phone or email contact.  There are also outdoor groups who do stuff like small hikes.  There are movie groups that meet up once a week. 

Is there not a gay center of some sort in your city?  If so, call them or email them and tell them what you've told us.  They will surely be able to set you up with some leads.

It's absolutely reasonable that you should feel a bit lonely in your current situation.  I am confident, however, that very little digging on your part ought to turn up some affordable remedies.

Meantime, there is still always us.  We're not 3D, but we're plenty colorful.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline thunter34

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,314
  • His name is Carl.
Re: meeting new people?
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2012, 08:45:11 PM »
Here:

http://www.lgbtcenters.org/Centers/States/Arizona/4/LGBT-Centers.aspx


Call and discover what's available.  There really are options.  You just have to scratch the surface a tad to find them.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,548
Re: meeting new people?
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2012, 08:51:38 PM »
Maybe considering expanding your circle of friends who aren't gay.  I'd be one lonely SOB without mine.  If you're not in it for the sex, then sexual preferance is irrelevant.  I'm grateful for all the straight friends I have who support me and I have a blast with them.  I usually get the first invites to their events.

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,113
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: meeting new people?
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2012, 09:04:47 PM »
Maybe considering expanding your circle of friends who aren't gay.  I'd be one lonely SOB without mine.  If you're not in it for the sex, then sexual preferance is irrelevant.  I'm grateful for all the straight friends I have who support me and I have a blast with them.  I usually get the first invites to their events.

Wolfie

You live in Salt Lick, you have no choice. This 26 y.o. man lives in a metro area of 4.2 million people.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Bsc86

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: meeting new people?
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2012, 09:08:35 PM »
T - thanks for the link! Something like that is exactly what I've been looking for...but every time I got to Google to search, I stared at the cursor blinking at me, and I couldn't figure out what to search for. I spend a lot of time on here during my days (and nights)...it's between here, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter lol. I've never been in to the "scene", but that's mainly because I never knew where to begin.


Wolfie - most of my friends (in fact...almost all) are straight. I rely on them a lot to keep me company...sexual preference isn't a matter to me, but it's always nice to have others that you can relate to. I haven't been invited to an event with friends in a while...but a lot of it is because I was so sick. Hopefully that will change :)

09/25/2012 - Diagnosed. CD4: 8. VL: unknown
Started HAART - Norvir, Prezista, Truvada
10/15/2012 - CD4: 18. VL: unknown (hospital never told me VL counts)
11/28/2012 - CD4: 114 (bad test)
12/08/2012 - CD4: 54, VL: 223
                   Switched to Norvir, Epzicom, and Prezista
01/08/2013 - CD4: 232, VL: 182

Current regimen: Norvir, Prezista, Epzicom

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,113
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: meeting new people?
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2012, 09:15:02 PM »
When I was in my 20's, I made gay friends the crafty way -- if they wanted to have sex and didn't cut the grade I moved them into The Friend Zone. Once there, you'd meet their friends and soon you'd have a roving posse. Then you'd meet some hags, and meet their gay friends, and have a larger posse, and discard the tired Friend Zones from the previous year as you gradually climbed your way up the Social Ladder (while being very careful to look like you weren't doing so -- you know how tacky that is). Dinner parties, movies out, etc. In no time you were in the A-List girl and gettin' those drink tickets and VIP entrances.

Naturally you'll meet some choice bits to move OUT of The Friend Zone from time to time, but I kept those in the back pocket in case it potentially interfered with that Social Ladder, like a gay grenade.

Anyway, I thought everyone did things this way. I never made friends at some lame LGBT community center, gay football and certainly not some perverted, deviant tea room on the college campus. Gridr? PHOEEY... Miss Girl didn't even have email or cell phone back in the early 90's. However, I was very good a screening calls with my answering machine when that young Brazilian with pink hair and the club kid lunch box-as-purse kept asking me out for a date.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2012, 09:19:48 PM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

 


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