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Part 2 of my story. I thought it couldn't get worse but it has...

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sidekick:
Hello everyone, and thanks for replying to my last post. I'm sorry for not coming on here more often. Just a few days after I posted about my hiv status, I lost yet another friend to a brain aneurism. He was only 30, he and his partner just adopted two beautiful kids two weeks prior to his death. My dear sweet friend was their for me when I got tested, went with me to all of my doctors appointments, etc. As my boyfriend isn't comfortable going with me to the doctors, I now go alone. To add insult to injury, a week after my friend passed I'd just moved into my new house just a few blocks away from where my late friend lived. He helped me pick it out. While goi g through boxes and unpacking I started finding evidence that my current boyfriend has also been cheating on me. In fact he's been doing it since we met almost 4 years ago. At this point I don't know what the hell to do, I'm so depressed with this mess. I just sold both of my cars so I can put the deposit on the lease for this house, and instead of buying anther vehicle I bought my boyfriend a big screen tv and new furniture for the house! I now drive his spare car to and from work. But after finding out about his cheating, the gay escorts, and twink boys it makes me sick and depressed. I snapped and went off on him, damn near killing us both while driving one day, then I got out the car and started walking. He cries and begs me not to leave him but I just want to leave, I want to gut the house, and leave his sorry butt. I told him last night if I hadn't sold my car I would have left, just up and loaded everything that I worked my ass off for to share with him and leave, so he and his little online rent-a-tricks can do their bidding. Now when I look in the mirror at all these ks spots on my body, and how I've lost so much weight, I get very depressed. Finding all the pictured and messages of his little muscle twinks it just makes me sick. Not only are all of my friends dead now, but the one person whom I thought I could turn to has stabbed me in the back. My doctor has told me that I need not to get depressed or down it will only make my health worse, but I don't know what else to do.

texaninnyc87:
wait you have KS already? aren't you very recently diagnosed?

Ann:

--- Quote from: texaninnyc87 on December 28, 2012, 11:22:47 AM ---wait you have KS already? aren't you very recently diagnosed?

--- End quote ---

If you read his first post, you'll see that he was very likely hiv positive for a long time before he tested and was diagnosed.

Sidekick, sorry to hear about your recent problems. I don't know what to say other than hang in there. Hopefully 2013 will be better.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx

Jmarksto:
Hey Sidekick;

Wow, what a rough patch - I am sorry you are going through all of this. 

What strikes me most about your situation is that you have really lost your support network - and I know that having a good support network can really help in terms of processing loss and change.  So one question would be, what could you do to rebuild a support network?  In the abscense of friends and family, perhaps a counselor/therapist could help.

Anyway, I hope things get better for you,

JM

Anqueetas:
Hang on there, I gone through the same thing. Not as harsh as you.

Found out that your BF was cheating on you, it was the same for me and he is the one that infected me with this. Now is roaming free whoring around clubs and bars Shamful!

Lost of friends : I tell my family, they are very supportive and I 'm glad I have such a wonderful parent. It is different story with my two whom I though was my best friends. The day I told them, they immediately went tested for HIV, that greatly offended me. Years gone by of harsh word curse homosexual and HIV positive people and yet they pretend to be my friend. They beat me up emotionally so badly than the Virus itself. almost two weeks ago I had enough of this and leave them. It was the best thing i did for myself in 2012. Now I have less stress and much more happier overall, I do have to endure their present but just another 2 months once a week before i graduate from university.


Have to disease is hard enough, so we done have to ensure those awful discriminating any mre than we have too. I learn it the hard way and from now on i would choose very carefully who to tell. Not any more.

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