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Full Blown Disclosure! Am I nuts??

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Please help me over this hump….

I keep very few secrets.  I am out as a gay man and I am out to my family, friends and my immediate bosses that I work for as being HIV positive.   I was very comfortable up until now.   My boss at one of the hotels I work for who I carry all my insurance with has had to leave cuz of the cost of living.  So now, I am back to square one.  I felt very comfortable disclosing to him and he supported me through this entire year.   Now I have a new boss who I do not know and who is from a very distant country Turkey who will be taking his place.   Aspen is very close knit community and I for one do NOT wish to have rumors esp in the workplace.  I chose to disclose and I am happy I am out this far.  But now I am on eggshells again.   I work for a super corporate hotel which has 900 other hotels throughout the entire world.  Certainly, others have come forward and disclosed?  My wants and desires is to disclose again to HR and be done with it.   My job requires me to work with guests on a very one to one basis along with blood borne pathogens etc.  I am a EMT.   I use universal precautions whenever there is any risk of infecting.   I am <50 and extremely low risk to hurt anyone.   My dear friend who works in HR is the one I wish to disclose to and remove all worries or add a significant worry to my “plate”. (Tim).   I don’t like my secret again and I hate it.   So I am one to make that secret go away.   

I know I have protections to a point.   I am highly regarded in what I do and have been doing it for 19 years now.   I am fearful they could yank me or even hurt me for some reason.  But I do not want to live in fear.   I wana know NOW what my career path holds. 

I have know clue what the Americans with Disabilities Act means and maybe I am jumping the gun so to speak.   But still, I have a secret and do not want that over my head.   Currently I do not use my insurance which is absolutely spectacular that will eventually cover me and meds way down the road.  Currently on a 2 year study which will likely turn into a 5 year or so study.  No benefit load for my company I work for. 

I know there are horror stories about this..  I don’t necessarily want to hear those.   I am in a very unique situation given my length of employement and where I live…   

Am I just fucked up and stupid?  I just don’t like feeling like a shoe could fall without me knowing about it.  I feel being forthright and honest is the best policy.  At least so far.


Hey Eric,   

Funny how the guy from Turkey is coming right before  Thanksgiving  lol..   

I was worried about my job too   the hospital I work for has a committee  on  employees with Infectious Diseases  which my ID doc is on.  I was freaking out about my job.  but she said  that they all supported me.   

If i'm not mistaken   as long as you can perform your job  you are covered under that disability act.

Good luck with the new boss. 

I'm sure everything will be okay for you.



Joe K:
Hey Eric,

I believe you should seek some counsel on what to do and I would suggest either your local ASO or legal aid.  You raise some valid points and you want to understand all the implications of you disclosing your status to HR.  I do not think they can do anything to you, especially because you will not be asking for any type of accommodations.  But always better to know the facts up front.

If those two options are not available, try the GMHC in New York, Lambda Legal or the HRC.

I would also caution you against assuming anything about your new boss, until you get to know him and give him a chance.  I doubt your company would promote someone who would be detrimental to their operations.

So just do a little fact checking and see what the experts suggest you do.

Best of luck to you and let us know what you decide.

People from Turkey are mostly Muslim....if I am not mistaken.  Unless this guy is actually from the USA and just LIVED in Turkey, is a Christian and studied at Harvard. I would get his RESUME asap.
  Muslims are not known for their tolerance or understanding of our concept of DIVERSITY and ACCEPTANCE.
A Turkish woman was recently condemned of the crime of "being unTurkish" in her writings about Islamic........ whatever.
Gay men in Egypt were put in jail for hiring a boat and having a party .

Andy Velez:
Eric, I lean in the direction of not disclosing unless there is some valid/pressing reason to do so.

While I appreciate your wish to be forthcoming, you don't want to be so openminded that your brains will fall out.

I second Joe's suggestion that you speak to an ASO or legal counseling via Human Rights Campaign or any similar gay supportive organization. They deal with these issues all the time.

Keep us posted on how it goes.



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