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Author Topic: Please help, need advice - wiating for HIV test and am very scared  (Read 2375 times)

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Offline madeabigmistake

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I know the experts will say my exposure is non existent and that I dont even need to get tested for this but I want to ask a question.

I received a blow job from a sw that lasted about 4 or 5 minutes and I came outside her mouth. Since there is a theoretical chance of HIV infection, how can this take place? I know there needs to be blood from the mouth involved and there needs to be alot of it because the blood has to survive exposure to saliva. How much blood would be needed to be able to infect a male receiving a blow job?

I a have been having lots of anxiety over this and my blood pressure is at dangerous levels. I feel like I have ruined my life and that of my girl friend. I was told not to worry about this by the rapid HIV testing nurse and that I can go on with my life and that I will bring no harm to my partner. I am concerned because last week she too got sick and exibitted similar symptoms to me when I felt sick.
I dont know if what we felt was typical ARS.
I had some pain in my lower back area that comes and goes and just recently she woke up with the same low back pain and experienced heavy fatigue. I had a small fever that lasted a few days, she had a fever that lasted one night. We both had lost our appetite for about a week and we both experience night sweats. We both felt generally ill and I am afraid that I infected her with this virus. Some advice would be appreciated. Are the symptoms I've described common for ARS or initial HIV infections?

This is causing me so much stress ... I dont know why I did what I did with the sw ... it was the alcohol. I did a test for STI and HIV at the one week mark and again and the three week mark. Both came back negative. But since the HIV test might be too early, I am doing one again at the 6 week mark and this should give me a good idea as I read it is accurate to the high 90% range.

Lastly, has there been anyone in these forms to admit that he got HIV from insertive oral sex? I would like to know even if its not considered a documented case.
Also, is there any information of how many people claim to have gotten HIV from insertive oral sex documented in the medical community in non-proof literature? I would like to know about these too.

I would also like to thank this board/website for exsting an providing a valuable channel for communicating sensitve information that you cannot discuss about with others around you.
please help,
« Last Edit: December 25, 2012, 02:38:27 AM by madeabigmistake »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Please help, need advice - wiating for HIV test and am very scared
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2012, 03:19:07 AM »
There is absolutely no risk from receiving a blow job. You had no risk as saliva contains over a dozen distinct elements that inactivate the virus. Your risks for HIV are quite simple, sexually. Unprotected anal and vaginal sex. There are no case reports where this has been documented and over ten years of studies using serodiscordant couples have yet to yield a single case of HIV transmission through any oral route whatsoever.

In no way, shape or form us this an HIV situation. Period.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline madeabigmistake

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Re: Please help, need advice - wiating for HIV test and am very scared
« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2012, 11:00:14 AM »
What goes through my head right now is what if there are people out there that did contract the virus this way but have not been documented?

I also understand there are people who have claimed they got it from a blow job when asked after it was detected or something and that this data cannot be trusted because people are notorious liars and they would prefer to admit to getting a blow job to their wife than to admit to anal sex with a man. But I have to wonder though, what if a few of them did tell the truth? If we were to assume they told the truth, what would the percentage look like?

Also, how many poz.com forum participants in the past have claimed to have got HIV from insertive oral sex? Again, I say claimed as I know it is the policy of this website that anyone claiming that is either lieing or has not accounted for something else he or she did in the past that was putting them at risk.

I apologize if I sound overtly pesimistic, but I am just going through a million and one thoughts. The holiday season does not seem to make it easier, in fact, seeing all my family makes it even worse since I feel like I will potentially be devastated if I have have to tell them i have this virus. Its like my BP spikes up each time I am asked about when I plan to marry or any talk of the future causes stress and anxiety! I'm trying not to be so damn negative but I just cant stop.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please help, need advice - wiating for HIV test and am very scared
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2012, 11:29:05 AM »
Your thoughts are not facts. Seek professional help do deal with your anxieties.

Offline madeabigmistake

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Re: Please help, need advice - wiating for HIV test and am very scared
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2012, 12:15:09 PM »
I just went through the I am poz threads now and noticed the few people that claim to have got the virus by oral sex are always criticized. I understand there could be skepticism due to lack of scientific evidence but I wonder how would anyone be able to prove otherwise unless each sexual act was being monitored?

Maybe you can say that under normal circumstances (no blood, no cuts, etc...) transmission orally is not possible but the following scenarios can put receiving partner at risk: bleeding gums, etc...
And the following circumstances can put the insertive partner at risk: cut on penis, having an ulcer, etc...

For example, there was a thread describing HSV1 or HSV2 and how that affects transmission. I dont really understand this, can someone explain? Does this mean if the person giving the blow job has HSV1 and the insertive partner gets HSV1 then does that mean that HIV can be transmitted along with HSV1 or 2 at the same time???

Please help!

Can someone else add to this? 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please help, need advice - wiating for HIV test and am very scared
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2012, 12:24:01 PM »
That what happens when you go reading in places you shouldn't.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Please help, need advice - wiating for HIV test and am very scared
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2012, 03:54:49 PM »
I certainly wish you had per used these "Am I Infected" forums as thoroughly as you have the forums designed for people diagnosed with HIV.

Had you done so, you would have availed yourself to the science which underscores the skepticism regarding oral transmission. Namely, the three separate serodiscordant studies done in the USA and Spain. These studies ran for three, five and ten years respectively, and monitored serodiscordant couples (where one partner is positive and one is negative) in relationships who used condoms for penetrative anal and vagnal sex yet did not use any barrier of any form for oral sex.

The positive partners in these studies ran the gamut of viral loads from undetectable to massive. Seem we're on treatment medication, sme were not. There were tens of thousands  of estimated sexual contact throughout these studies. An interesting side note- in at least one of these studies, the purpose was to track factions through oral sex to determine whether that mode of transmission (heretofore assumed uncommon but not rare) resulted in a different disease progression.

The objective of that study was derailed however, when absolutely zero infections resulted through any form of oral contact.

This was further corroborated in subsequent studies. These findings form a stark contrast to the relatively uncommon but hardly rare patient report of infection through oral sex. Patient report, of course, being well known for being notoriously unreliable.

During the same period of time, over a dozen elements in saliva were identified to neutralize HIV particles, damaging them and rendering them incapable of infection. HIV transmission science, unlike the science in virtually any other sexually transmitable disease, has evolved tremendously in the last twenty years since the advent of life-saving therapies and powerful medications.

Sadly, this has caused confusion as refined transmission theory often conflicts with assumption. Things like kissing, the notion of "microscopic cuts" and other reported means of transmission have been discarded, yet the artifacts of those assumptions - many made in the days before there was even a means to study the virus itself - stil exist. Some of these artifacts even exist on sites like the CDC, where progress moves at a glacier pace due to governmental influence.

So I will not be so arrogant as to claim that infection through receptive fellatio (sucking dick) is impossible, but the mechanics of it have yet to be observed in any controlled study. Granted, the emergence of methamphetamine use and its profound impact on the oral cavity, through depletion of saliva to dangerous rotted gum tissue could quite possibly be an oral "loophole," but a controlled serodiscordant couple study using people with advanced methamphetamine addiction would be both problematic and unethical. 

Please believe that we use the best data possible to determine the lessons on this site, and it evolves as the science evolves. And while I am not unsympathetic to newly diagnosed persons who are distraught over their infections, it does not behoove the credibility of this site to present the plural of anecdote as data - especially as it contradicts actual, peer-reviewed scientific study.

Some people do not recall having unprotected sex due to drug and alcohol use. Some people are aware that their significant others, or family, or friends, might read these forums and discover infidelity and/or sexual exploration outside the relationship. Some are ashamed of the stigma that exists from having forgone condom use, and prefer to be viewed as someone who was infected through an unorthodox method of transmission.

This delves deeply into psychology, and veers away from the issue a hand, which is presenting the facts about HIV transmission as we understand them today based on controlled study. And the facts as they exist do not point to fellatio (or any form of oral sex) as a means of HIV transmission.

In short, you did not, in my opinion, have a risk. 

*modified to add- I notice you attempted to speculate v infection through inserting fellatio as well. That, I would hope, has been covered under the missive above but in case you need it s pacific ally addressed, it has never been implicated in HIV transmission.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2012, 03:57:09 PM by jkinatl2 »
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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