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Author Topic: still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(  (Read 4013 times)

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Offline danzy

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still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« on: November 25, 2012, 11:47:26 AM »
hey guys, im new here and been reading up alot on this site, and its helped me in the last 48 hours that i have been stressing..
but i felt that i wanted to share my story with u, to get some personal expert feedback..

basically, i have started casually seeing this girl, and the other night, she was at my place, and things got heated.. we had agreed then and there that we were not going to have sex, as none of us had protection at the time.. and that we would just touch and save it for another time..
we found ourselves both naked, and i was on top of her, and started rubbing the shaft of my penis against her vagina (frottage) as i knew this was a no risk act, so i felt comfortable doing it, and this went on for about 3 mins, and unexpectedly , my penis slid inside her, i did not even notice this, she just gasped all of a sudden which made me realize what happened and i pulled it out straight away. it was the tip of my penis that went in for literally 1 second, not at all deep penetration.. i wasn't even sure i could call it penetration but judging by her gasp, it must have gone in abit.. i pulled out immediately, and rubbed off my penis, and we then decided to stop right there as to not tempt ourselves further... i then got very worried, and asked her status, she said she was fine, and that we could go for a test together.. but she had told me that she was with anotheer guy 2 weeks ago (she claims it was protected) but hard for me to take her word for it, so im worried that there may not even be a point to go get tested yet... and wait at least 6 weeks...

do u guys feel this was quite risky?? i knw this may not be as serious as other stories here.. but i can assure im feeling just as stressed and anxious.. and really looking for some advice on this ??
much appreciated guys..

Offline RapidRod

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Re: an unexpected slip.. and now feelin worried :(
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2012, 02:41:18 PM »
You didn't notice?

Offline danzy

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Re: an unexpected slip.. and now feelin worried :(
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2012, 02:51:57 PM »
i honestly honestly didnt notice..  :-\  this is what's doing my head in.. i'm not trying to make it all sound less than what it was..

im really not sure if whether i penetrated her or not.. i did not feel it going in, as the outside of her vagina was already quite wet.. so it jst felt the same to me as the frottage.. the only thing i noticed was when she gasped and i immediately pulled back.. so it must have been the very tip of of my penis that went in.. i asked her what she felt and she said only the tip went in..  but really, the worst case scenario is that the head of my penis went in for literally 1 second and pulled out..

spinning out about it  :-\

Offline RapidRod

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Re: an unexpected slip.. and now feelin worried :(
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2012, 02:59:59 PM »
Had you penetrated anyone you would have known. No it does not feel the same a frottage.

Offline Ann

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Re: an unexpected slip.. and now feelin worried :(
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2012, 06:27:53 AM »
danzy,

Even if you did penetrate her a tiny bit, you're worrying over nothing. Hiv is much more difficult to transmit from a woman to a man and that's when we're talking about full-on unprotected vaginal intercourse. You didn't do that.

You CAN get other STIs through frottage, but not hiv. In this case with a tiny slip of the head only, hiv is the least of your worries.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

You have one free post left (only because I deleted your useless "Anyone?" post), so use it wisely.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline danzy

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just want to clear something up on possible hiv exposure?
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2012, 09:26:26 AM »
Hi guys, recently i was with a girl , who i do not know her status, and we had fully protected vaginal sex.. the part im worried about was before we had sex, i was rubbing my penis against the outside of her vagina for quite a while, it was very wet and alot of fluids, there was 2 moments when my penis slid and pushed up against the entry to her vagina.. i did not penetrate her.. but my tip of my penis did press against it and thats when i stopped and put on the condom.. Ann was so sweet and answered me quickly and helped me understand that this is a no risk of hiv transmission..
what i want to know is (and this may sound silly) but would i have had to deeply penetrate her to be put me at risk only? the fact that my penis pressed up against her vagina entry , without going all the way in not be enough to transmit hiv ?? Ann, i know u have answered me before, i guess im looking for some reassurance here, as there is  a very fine line, and i dont quite know how to seperate what real penetration is, than from a little push against the vagina.. i will go get tested in 6 weeks for peace of mind.. but just want to hear what u have to say ?
 u dont feel that my exposure could be risky at all??
thank u so much for everything :)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: just want to clear something up on possible hiv exposure?
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2012, 05:35:30 PM »
You did not have an exposure.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: an unexpected slip.. and now feelin worried :(
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2012, 05:47:57 PM »
Danzy, I've merged your threads here. As stated in the opening thread of this section, members have to keep all of their entries in one thread. This is the only thread you are supposed to write in. Thanks for your cooperation.

And I am just adding on to what Rod has already said. You are worrying needlessly because you did not do anything risky for HIV. Risk sexually is only about unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Those are the only confirmed risks.
Andy Velez

Offline danzy

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still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2012, 05:10:03 AM »
Hi everybody,
so i just paid for a subscription so that i can ask another question to u guys.. i have read quite abit about this, and still haven't gained a solid answer, just alot of mixed answers and theories..  so thought i'd ask u..

Recently, i was with a girl , we had 100% protected vaginal sex.. BUT before hand, i was fingering her.. now i bite my nails and cuticals often, and had fresh cuts..
I was fingering the girl and could have been with one of the freshly cut fingers that may have had a little bit of blood on it.. i did slide my finger all the way up inside her vagina..
We had protected sex after this, and when i removed the condom i saw abit of blood on it.. and let her know.. she then said that she was maybe starting her period.. this made me quite worried, as i had been fingering her with a  fresh cut, and there was some blood of hers from her period, and my finger was inside her vagina too..

could this be a risk at all?? i understand that, its most likely not, but can anybody explain me why this cannot happen ? please help.. im quite worried about this :(
« Last Edit: December 29, 2012, 05:14:04 AM by danzy »

Offline Ann

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Re: still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2012, 08:04:50 AM »
Dan,

Yet again, I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Just because you took out a subscription does not mean you don't have to follow our rules. You do.

Thank you for your cooperation.



Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Not one person has ever been infected this way and you aren't going to be the first. The right types of cells that hiv can infect are not present on the skin, nor are they present in small superficial cuts. If you cut the tip of your finger off immediately before you fingered her and she was on her period, then you might have a problem. Otherwise, NO.

Look, I'm not just talking out my ass here. I was with an hiv negative man for over eight years and he remained negative. He was in the building trade and therefore often had small cuts and nicks on his fingers - fingers that he touched me with, everywhere. He didn't become hiv positive. You're not going to either provided you keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse. That's all you need to do - that's all we did.

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline danzy

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Re: still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2012, 09:00:59 AM »
Ann, firstly i apologize , i thought because its a new subject i should start a new post..
will stick any future posts to this one now..

Thank u for your response and for sharing your own personal experience to reassure me.. i guess it is quite a confusing because i read different posts and so many different opinions and theories its hard to know which to believe.. and being a very fearful and anxious person my mind can really play tricks on me and its gets really hard to deal with..
so thank all u guys for being so patient and always being there to help...

Offline danzy

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Re: still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2012, 09:09:53 AM »
sorry to be a pain Ann, i really do appreciate ur replies, but just want to double check with u, even if it was a fresh cut from the same day this happened.. a little cut in the corner of my finger.. i shouldnt be concerned ?  to be honest i wouldnt worry, but the fact that she was on her period, and my finger was inside her vagina and not exposed to air.. is what is doing my head in : /

Offline Ann

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Re: still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2012, 09:42:52 AM »
Dan,

I got what you were talking about the first time.

Obviously you didn't get it when I said NO RISK.

At the end of the day, if you cannot bring yourself to believe us when we tell you that you had NO RISK, go test, collect your negative result and move on.

Just don't expect to use this forum to go on and on about your NO RISK situation in the meantime. You'll quickly be given a Time Out if you do - and if you don't know what a Time Out is, then you haven't read the posting guidelines like I asked you to earlier.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline danzy

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Re: still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2012, 10:06:17 AM »
no no i got u.. thanks Ann :)

Offline danzy

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Re: still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2013, 05:13:24 PM »
Hi all,
firstly my sincere apologies if this pisses any of the moderators off, as i know u do not like me bringing this up again..

Ann really helped me relax, but i recently saw a post that got my nerves and anxiety running again.. so please please just bare with me here..
I read a post that spoke about how infectious menstrual blood can be, as thats when the viral load is most high in a womans body..

So, I just have one more question..
basically as i said previously, my exposure was a fresh tear in my cuticle, still raw and abit stingy and perhaps a little bit of blood on it but nothing pouring out of it.. but my finger was all the way inside her vagina when she was on her period..  this was confirmed when i saw  blood on my condom after intercourse..
 
Say she was HIV + and on her period, would my wound have to be one that is worthy of stitching for HIV to be able to transmit into my blood stream? is it just that my wound was not big enough for transmission ? or was it because it was on my finger? or both?
please understand, im not questioning your answers.. im just trying to get a better understanding of the situation..
thanks so much u guys..  Ann please dnt be pissed with me .. :)

Offline Ann

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Re: still unsure, and lookin for answers ? :(
« Reply #15 on: January 05, 2013, 07:34:50 AM »
Dan,

For a start - for the purpose of giving risk assessments, we always assume the other person is hiv positive. Always.

Hiv can only infect a very few, very specific types of cells and these cells are not found in superficial cuts or torn hangnails. I've already explained this to you in reply #9.

Your "information" re: "how infectious menstrual blood can be, as thats when the viral load is most high in a womans body". What a load of crap. In over ten years of having my VL monitored at least quarterly, there have been many times when I had my period when the blood was drawn for the tests. Never once was my VL any higher than usual and yes, I did have a detectable VL as I only started on hiv meds this past summer. Keep my having a detectable VL in mind when you re-read reply #9.

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection!

Enough already. Nobody has ever been infected through fingering and you're not going to be the first.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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