Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 20, 2014, 03:41:10 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 620538
  • Total Topics: 46756
  • Online Today: 273
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: S.E.X.  (Read 7012 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline walkingpoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
S.E.X.
« on: December 20, 2012, 07:05:54 PM »
Ever since my diagnosis in October 2011 I haven't had any sexual intercourse. On the one hand I don't wanna have sex with someone without them knowing about my status and on the other hand I'm worried that if I disclose my status to someone the word would spread in my city's gay community.

I don't mind telling people who I trust. I told my family and a few friends. I even told two guys after we had met a couple of times and they were cool with it and although we never got into a relationship (I never had one btw, despite me being hot and smart and stuff ;D ) we're still friends.

I also read somewhere that one's undetectable viral load doesn't necessarily mean that there's no virus in the semen. I would never have unprotected sex (and never knowingly did) and I think the precum of someone who's UD is of negligible risk - please correct me if I'm mistaken.
But if one finds out about my status afterwards there's a good chance that he's really mad about that and if he contracts HIV from someone else he'll probably think he got it from me and I don't wanna get sued. That's another part of the reason why I don't feel comfortable having sex with someone whithout them knowing about my status.

But if I disclose my positivity to the wrong person and they tell others, then some guys are gonna have prejudices before even getting to know me personally and probably don't even want to get to know me.

Maybe some of you can empathize with my situation and tell me what they would do.

Thank you for reading this  :-*
10/11: CD4 554, VL 20,893
01/12: CD4 480, VL 104,000
02/12: started isentress+truvada
03/12: CD4 ?, VL 105
04/12: CD4 632, VL UD
06/12: CD4 495, VL UD
09/12: CD4 ?, VL 60
10/12: CD4 790, VL UD

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2012, 07:28:55 PM »
I am curious as to why you would want to maintain a status in a community that would seemingly disown you if they knew your truth.

"Winning over" someone who would otherwise cast you aside sight unseen if he knew beforehand about your status seems exhausting - and like an uphill battle.

Honestly, wouldn't it be better to cultivate cooler friends?
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Pilot

  • Member
  • Posts: 126
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2012, 11:47:47 PM »
I have two friends who know and the rest do not in the gay community where I live and both of them have never said anything to anyone. On the other hand, I have met people and then had people come up and say you should stay away from them they are poz.  I normally reply how can you get HIV from talking to someone and who are you to out anyone and what if your just spreading a false rumor you obviously heard from some gossip. That usually works every time.

I did read a post from a guy in Canada who is upfront when he meets people and lets them know early on that he is poz and about 40% want nothing to do with him but the rest are fine with it.

I do not know if this will help you I am just trying to give you another way of looking at the situation. Personally if they are immediately turned off before getting to know you as the person you are then they are the ones who are missing out on meeting at the very least a new friend.

Online mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,736
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2012, 02:55:08 AM »
I am curious as to why you would want to maintain a status in a community that would seemingly disown you if they knew your truth.

"Winning over" someone who would otherwise cast you aside sight unseen if he knew beforehand about your status seems exhausting - and like an uphill battle.

Honestly, wouldn't it be better to cultivate cooler friends?

Walkinpoz, i agree with jkinatl2 - your situation is very complicated and you are putting a LOT of effort into thinking about the "what ifs" and consequences of a lot of things that are in the conditional, not the real.
I am SURE your sitution is awfully complicated, but it might be better for you personally (and for others - which I will explain in a moment) if you stopped worring about so much you can't control and start making your own life simpler.

Here are some other ways of looking at things:

Lets start with the fears based on criminalisation of HIV transmission and/or non-disclosure.  I guess you already did this - check to make sure the laws that you are afraid might exist, actually do exist in your locale.  No sense worrying about laws and punishments that don't exist. ANd if they do, youre smart not to fall into traps.

Secondly, since you are committed to safe sex, you aren't going to transmit. 

But you are worried a guy will get HIV from another person, but then blame YOU if you are the one known Typhoid Mary on the local circuit.  Well, thats pretty flippy reasoning.

Two things come to mind.  If, by chance, a number of gay people in the city knew you were HIV+, then you could also talk to people about HIV transmission and be including the information that "I always used condoms" and that "HIV transmission often happens when people assume their partners are negative, and its not the case, and especially when people don't even know they are HIV+."  And, you could repeat rather often, that you are surely NOT the only HIV+ person around your town.

So the second thing is, since you are willing to disclose HIV to some friends and your family, you personally might receive benefits to disclosing to gay friends (and their friends and so on) - i mean letting the word get out.  There ARE more people with HIV, surely.  And also, eventually this helps everyone chill after the news settles.  On the one hand, people might decide you are Typhoid Mary and the town pariah, but on the other hand, many people will just hear the news and eventually its just another fact about another person in their orbit.  It becomes mundane.

You are very convoluted about who will and won't consider dating you, based on when they know or don't know about your HIV, and in fact you can't manage any of that. 

But if you personally do NOT let HIV be a big scandal, to you personally, then other people can go along with that, with your thinking.  Not believing you have something to hide, or to protect yourself from others, or shame, or whatever, it gives strength of character, maturity, openness and pride - these are all ATTRACTIVE qualities that draw people to you.

« Last Edit: December 21, 2012, 03:00:17 AM by mecch »
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2012, 08:33:32 AM »
I'm totally out about my hiv status and I find that those who have a problem with that are people I don't want in my life anyway. It's a great "asshole filter".

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline walkingpoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2012, 08:59:18 AM »
I actually received quite a lot of positive feedback when I once disclosed my status in my profile on a gay website - of course without a picture of my face in there. People were interested and some wanted to meet me or called me "brave" because of the disclosure ::)

So I also considered being totally out about it but I think right now I'm not ready for this. I have tried to put myself back into the situation before I got HIV to see what I would have done if I were someone who meets a positive person. And I think I would have done it like I said in my first post: that it's different if you know the status of a person before getting to know them or after you have gotten to know them. That's actually what I guy told me after I disclosed to him after we had known us a bit better.
10/11: CD4 554, VL 20,893
01/12: CD4 480, VL 104,000
02/12: started isentress+truvada
03/12: CD4 ?, VL 105
04/12: CD4 632, VL UD
06/12: CD4 495, VL UD
09/12: CD4 ?, VL 60
10/12: CD4 790, VL UD

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2012, 09:13:36 AM »
I won't tell you to be out about your status as only you can do that when you are ready.

I will say though that while being public about your status can seem scary it also has a number of benefits that I personally have appreciated. 

  • When I was using hook-up sites (and lord knows I will again) no one I meet on there can claim I lied about my status
  • On a related note you can find my status if you google my full name which also offers me some protection from false accusations that I lied about my status (I swear this worries me more in the South than it ever did in NY
  • Being out in the community as well being out at work, to family and all means I never have to worry about dancing around subjects like my meds or doctor appointments.
  • I met more people because I was out about my status

There are a host of other things I'm sure in your mind about being public about your status besides sex, but since sex is the thread title I'll stay with that issue. 

The last thought I will add is you began your thread stating you basically haven't had intercourse since your diagnosis and that you don't want to have sex with someone who doesn't know your status so I'm gonna suggest that you don't really have much to lose (sexual options) but everything to gain.


Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,261
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2012, 01:18:05 PM »
I'm totally out about my hiv status and I find that those who have a problem with that are people I don't want in my life anyway. It's a great "asshole filter".

What a lovely idea for a stocking stuffer -- an asshole filter.

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,293
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2012, 01:57:28 PM »
I may need to change my asshole filter , Ive never changed it and I bet its quite full by now .

I like Ann's advice , seems relatively full proof to me .

Offline elf

  • Member
  • Posts: 582
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2012, 02:02:02 PM »
Ever since my diagnosis in September 2008 I haven't had any sexual intercourse.
 :)
It's always the same story.
A few dates...They say I'm cute and they like me...
I tell them about my status.
I get: Thanks, but no thanks.

So, I stopped dating.
I enrolled a yoga class instead.
Time better spent.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2012, 02:10:14 PM by elf »
Let's have a Kiki!

Online mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,736
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2012, 08:16:19 PM »
ELF - you have mentioned this lack of sex several times and not that this is your thread, or that you asked for comments, but since its sorta related to this threads theme - i don't think its all that great to go years without sex AND to have that lack of sex be related to HIV. 
I get that there is a lot of rejection.
I get that people can find themselves living is a place with pretty slim pickings as to who is willing to have sex with an HIV+ person.

But please please make sure you young ones are giving it "the college try" meaning at least making an effort to be open and hopeful that sex is a possibility.  Please make sure that one's HIV+ status and concomitant high rejection hasn't become an excuse, a stand in, for OTHER reasons that sex is not on the menu.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2012, 08:18:06 PM by mecch »
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,293
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2012, 08:22:10 PM »
ELF - you have mentioned this lack of sex several times and not that this is your thread, or that you asked for comments, but since its sorta related to this threads theme - i don't think its all that great to go years without sex AND to have that lack of sex be related to HIV. 
I get that there is a lot of rejection.
I get that people can find themselves living is a place with pretty slim pickings as to who is willing to have sex with an HIV+ person.

But please please make sure you young ones are giving it "the college try" meaning at least making an effort to be open and hopeful that sex is a possibility.  Please make sure that one's HIV+ status and concomitant high rejection hasn't become an excuse, a stand in, for OTHER reasons that sex is not on the menu.

Your off your game aqualung , you forgot to ask him what hes wearing  ;) .

Offline Raf

  • Member
  • Posts: 248
  • Bald by choice
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2012, 09:05:27 PM »
ELF - you have mentioned this lack of sex several times and not that this is your thread, or that you asked for comments, but since its sorta related to this threads theme - i don't think its all that great to go years without sex AND to have that lack of sex be related to HIV. 
I get that there is a lot of rejection.
I get that people can find themselves living is a place with pretty slim pickings as to who is willing to have sex with an HIV+ person.

At least he tried, I don't even try to date or know someone since 2008 either..but well, I have some issues to face (including my paranoia with STIs and sex) so it's not a surprise.
Dx: 05/14/2008
Latest HIV Meds combo I've been taking:

Kaletra + Combivir (since 05/16/2008 - today)

Offline Ithappens

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #13 on: December 21, 2012, 10:32:06 PM »
I'm totally out about my hiv status and I find that those who have a problem with that are people I don't want in my life anyway. It's a great "asshole filter".


I'm like Ann and i use it as a great "asshole filter".  I tell you my status and then it's up to you whether you stay or go.  But along with that, based on the conversation, you'll know you can and cannot tell.
4/2009 Negative
6/24/09 ER with 104 degree temp
July-Nov 09 constantly had a cold and was tired, late Nov i asked to be tested
11/30/09 Tested positive and my Dr had the results confirmed before he told me
12/30/09 Appt with ID MD
1/28/10 cd4: 382 VL:72226
2/11/10 Started Atripla
4/10 cd4: 530 VL: UD
8/10 cd4: 551 VL: UD
11/10 cd4: 430 VL: UD
3/11 "                     "
9/11 cd4: 628 VL: UD
2/12 cd4: 638 VL: 103
7/12 cd4: 644 VL: UD 35%
1/13 cd4: 665 VL: UD 36%

Offline walkingpoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #14 on: December 22, 2012, 12:52:55 AM »
I just got home from a gay party and in my time zone it's a few minutes before 7 a.m.

I met a guy there and he took me to his place and he wanted to have sex with me. But I got scared and didn't want to have any oral or anal so we only did some petting. Then he got tired and I left. I didn't tell him about my status since I didn't know him. So I didn't lose anything except of my shorts which were ripped.

Thought I'd just tell you that latest story  ;D

Good night.
10/11: CD4 554, VL 20,893
01/12: CD4 480, VL 104,000
02/12: started isentress+truvada
03/12: CD4 ?, VL 105
04/12: CD4 632, VL UD
06/12: CD4 495, VL UD
09/12: CD4 ?, VL 60
10/12: CD4 790, VL UD

Offline Anqueetas

  • Member
  • Posts: 115
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2012, 10:38:38 AM »
At least he tried, I don't even try to date or know someone since 2008 either..but well, I have some issues to face (including my paranoia with STIs and sex) so it's not a surprise.

I also agree with you Raf, after everything that going, on the last thing is putting my health in further risk by contracting an STI. I will never ever have sex with anyone else, unless a full STI panel test is confirm and of-course the person also no my status. This take a high level of trust, so it probably going to take a long time for that to happen.
ARS, hospitalized for very high fever-July 2011
diagnosed HIV positive - October 16 2011
CD4 460 19.5% VL 49000 - late October 2011
CD4 625 19.5% VL 50030 - January 2012
CD4 369 19% VL 69000 - March 2012
Start Sustiva+ Truvada - April 17 2012
CD4 524 24.5% VL UD - August 22 2012
Switch to Nevirapine+Truvada
CD4 490 26% VL UD - November 2012
CD4 539 29% VL UD - February 2013
CD4 621 28% VL UD - May 2013

Offline Rockin

  • Member
  • Posts: 491
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2012, 01:43:45 PM »
I also agree with you Raf, after everything that going, on the last thing is putting my health in further risk by contracting an STI. I will never ever have sex with anyone else, unless a full STI panel test is confirm and of-course the person also no my status. This take a high level of trust, so it probably going to take a long time for that to happen.

This is incredibly and utterly depressing...no wonder HIV+ are so depressed. At the end of the day, we create our own prison around us.

Online mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,736
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2012, 02:11:09 PM »

Cher's advice from Moonstruck:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x-fkSYDtUY

ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,886
  • AM member since 2003
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #18 on: December 22, 2012, 04:16:55 PM »
I'm totally out about my hiv status and I find that those who have a problem with that are people I don't want in my life anyway. It's a great "asshole filter".

My dear lady Ann thank you for my morning chuckle, you have a great way with words... :D.

I would be surprised if anyone in my comunity didn't know of my status, I came "out" so to speak pretty much the day was diagnosed, I know it's not easy, and I would never judge anyone for not feeling safe about coming out, but what really gets up my nose and on my tits is why do those who moan and groan about not having sex blame it solely on being HIV positive, maybe these people who reject you just don't like you, maybe you have BO or you just bore the hell out of them...ever think of that?

HIV doesn't change who you are, you do.

Jan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Raf

  • Member
  • Posts: 248
  • Bald by choice
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #19 on: December 22, 2012, 05:22:55 PM »
I also agree with you Raf, after everything that going, on the last thing is putting my health in further risk by contracting an STI. I will never ever have sex with anyone else, unless a full STI panel test is confirm and of-course the person also no my status. This take a high level of trust, so it probably going to take a long time for that to happen.

yup. My main issue, is with the STIs that can't be avoided with condoms, like syphilis. I prefer to not take any chances anymore, and if I can avoid with this all the nonsense of the rejections and disclosure, even better.

Ironically though, I'll have a syphilis screening the next year because I don't remember if I was screened for that when I was diagnosed back in 2008. It's strange that my doc didn't include this test along with the hep B and C screening I had the last year.
Dx: 05/14/2008
Latest HIV Meds combo I've been taking:

Kaletra + Combivir (since 05/16/2008 - today)

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #20 on: December 22, 2012, 05:45:54 PM »
This is incredibly and utterly depressing...no wonder HIV+ are so depressed. At the end of the day, we create our own prison around us.

Self loathing knows no status, apparently.

If caught early, an STI like syphilis can be easily and completely treated. Sex is one of the more fundamental parts of human nature. I wager these people drive in cars or take transportation, go to public places, and interact with others - all of which are remarkable dangerous things to do.

I'm thinking that this has next to nothing to do with HIV and more to do with an underlying mental illness that, if not addressed, may eventually prove fatal.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Rev. Moon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,782
  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #21 on: December 22, 2012, 07:19:22 PM »
Ever since my diagnosis in September 2008 I haven't had any sexual intercourse.

At least he tried, I don't even try to date or know someone since 2008 either..but well, I have some issues to face (including my paranoia with STIs and sex) so it's not a surprise.

I also agree with you Raf, after everything that going, on the last thing is putting my health in further risk by contracting an STI. I will never ever have sex with anyone else, unless a full STI panel test is confirm and of-course the person also no my status. This take a high level of trust, so it probably going to take a long time for that to happen.


OEMGEE, I've also lived without any sex since like 2008.  This is however part of my goal to revirginize myself, not something that should blamed on HIV.  You girls make me rather sad.



This time I will have to be in agreement with Mecch: snap out of it.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Raf

  • Member
  • Posts: 248
  • Bald by choice
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #22 on: December 22, 2012, 07:34:07 PM »
lol rev, I thought you would put the "40 years old virgin" pic  ;D

I stand by my choice of no sex, it's great not having to worry about STIs anymore (I have more than enough with teh aids, thanks. I don't want to add another trophy), no rejections, no akward disclosure and no akward after sex talk. all win for me.

The last february 14th my right hand proposed to me, what a romantic moment  ;D
« Last Edit: December 22, 2012, 07:40:48 PM by Raf »
Dx: 05/14/2008
Latest HIV Meds combo I've been taking:

Kaletra + Combivir (since 05/16/2008 - today)

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,568
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #23 on: December 22, 2012, 11:41:24 PM »
I find this thread amazing. I had tons more sex post-diagnosis than I did before I was infected. Get out an enjoy life.

Of course, in the past two years I've been on either crutches or one of those granny walkers so the only sex I've had is with a Brazilian on my monitor and my right hand. Generally it's quite satisfying.

edit: some people seem to have doctors who actually prefer that they don't have any sex. My doctor actually brings the subject up during visits and yells at me for NOT having sex. I have to remind him that I've had surgery three times in the past year and I really would find it hard to have sex when I'm constantly in physical therapy. But still, I appreciate his sex-positive attitude.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2012, 12:01:21 AM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,293
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #24 on: December 22, 2012, 11:50:40 PM »
You young ones need to know there is a shelf life on your junk , use it or lose it .

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,568
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2012, 12:04:04 AM »
You young ones need to know there is a shelf life on your junk , use it or lose it .

⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧

ps: once I'm feeling better with my feet I'm going to go sit on Aunti Doxie's large schlong and eat a Memphis BBQ sammich  :-*
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,293
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #26 on: December 23, 2012, 12:08:31 AM »
⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧ ⇧

ps: once I'm feeling better with my feet I'm going to go sit on Aunti Doxie's large schlong and eat a Memphis BBQ sammich  :-*

He will sic his dog on you and eat your sandwich . Besides , I thought Willy was the only one who puts out for BBQ .
« Last Edit: December 23, 2012, 12:14:32 AM by jg1962 »

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,176
  • Twerk Baby Twerk
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #27 on: December 23, 2012, 12:23:38 AM »
He will sic his dog on you and eat your sandwich . Besides , I thought Willy was the only one who puts out for BBQ .

What an oxymoron: Willy and large schlong in the same sentence  :o
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #28 on: December 23, 2012, 12:42:30 AM »
You young ones need to know there is a shelf life on your junk , use it or lose it .

Word. Some folks are going to have a long time to regret not being brave enough to seek out happiness.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Rev. Moon

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,782
  • Smart ass faggot ©
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #29 on: December 23, 2012, 01:14:20 AM »
What an oxymoron: Willy and large schlong in the same sentence  :o


He claims to have a big peepee, big guns, and abysmally tiny balls.

Here's my artistic rendition on La Guillermina, including a twink-style tank top, pencil-sized pecker, microscopic walnuts, a big gun of each kind to compensate for any shortcomings, and an Egyptian flavored taco in his left hand.  This work of art is completed by the elusive lipid panel scattered on the floor, waiting for the dog to eat it.

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline walkingpoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 33
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #30 on: December 23, 2012, 07:56:00 AM »
I just got home from a gay party and in my time zone it's a few minutes before 7 a.m.

I met a guy there and he took me to his place and he wanted to have sex with me. But I got scared and didn't want to have any oral or anal so we only did some petting. Then he got tired and I left. I didn't tell him about my status since I didn't know him. So I didn't lose anything except of my shorts which were ripped.

Thought I'd just tell you that latest story  ;D

Good night.

Why did no one comment on my drunk post?  :(


I'm totally out about my hiv status and I find that those who have a problem with that are people I don't want in my life anyway. It's a great "asshole filter".

Um, I'm not sure about that. I think it doesnt mean one's an asshole if they're just scared. Though it might often be the case...


You young ones need to know there is a shelf life on your junk , use it or lose it .

Oh, I hope not.  :o
10/11: CD4 554, VL 20,893
01/12: CD4 480, VL 104,000
02/12: started isentress+truvada
03/12: CD4 ?, VL 105
04/12: CD4 632, VL UD
06/12: CD4 495, VL UD
09/12: CD4 ?, VL 60
10/12: CD4 790, VL UD

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,293
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #31 on: December 23, 2012, 09:53:08 AM »

Oh, I hope not.  :o

I'm not kidding . Things change for most people where sex is concerned as you mature and its not always for the worse , but rest assured things do change . I'm concerned about the high rate of STI in my area but that's not the reason I don't have the same sexual appetite I had at 20 or 30 .

For many people of a mature age the empathises changes from one of a purely sexual act to one of intimacy and for single people intimacy is much more difficult to find than just raw sex and is even better if you can find both in one partner .

I'm single and mostly hang out with friends and family and I am not to keen on going clubbing or hanging out online looking for MR right now . I ready for bed by 10:30 most nights and staying home seems much more of a good idea than going out . I would be happy to date someone if he came along but I'm not driven or distracted by the lure of gotta get laid like I used to be ... and I'm perfectly OK with it too .

So yes ... for lots of people your junk has a shelf life if you plan on using it as vigorously as you can as a young man . Its not that you cant when you get older , its a matter of do you want to .   

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #32 on: December 23, 2012, 06:05:33 PM »
I'll admit to being an outlier here. I'm heading relentlessly towards 47, and have recently discovered that I can go almost two days without sex. Three if you don't mind me being cranky.Trying to convince my bf that injection of healthy DNA will cure my head cold.


"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,039
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #33 on: December 23, 2012, 06:22:55 PM »
I've been on crutches for several months now an I could easily figure out how to perform if given the opportunity. :o  I hope that shelf life thingy doesn't happen automatically at 50 since I'm just a few short years from there.

HELL, even in my AIDS days, I wanted and got sex almost every day.  Perhaps that was my magic bullet?
Judging someone does not define them, it defines you. 

True peace is not merely the absence of war, it is the presence of justice.

Online mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,736
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #34 on: December 23, 2012, 07:30:04 PM »
In The Sound of Music, our pure Sister Maria is so ashamed and all wet in the panties that she's attracted to the Commander, and he to her, that she runs back to the Convent and goes into seclusion.  The Mother Superior smells the hormones and calls her out of seclusion and persuades Maria to go back and see if her carnal desires will be fulfilled, giving her blessing for other kinds of love.  Maria goes back, they throw themselves in heat at each other, and she gets a completely different life than she imagined!
« Last Edit: December 23, 2012, 07:31:36 PM by mecch »
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,568
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #35 on: December 23, 2012, 08:55:36 PM »
Egyptian flavored taco in his left hand.

According to his texts tonight he ate there again.

Billy A: Don't bother me I'm having Egyptian margaritas 4:22 PM
Me: omg -- seriously? Are you back at that dump again? Incredible. 4:24 PM
Billy A: Well most proper Mexican food places are closed on Sunday..catholic and all. But Egyptians are godless so they stay open on Sunday 4:26 PM
Me: Maybe I'll go get some REAL tacos from my neighborhood place, and go look at Christmas decorations on 13th St. 4:31 PM
Billy A: Did I mention I was at trans Siberian orchestra last night... In a private suite with open bar? 4:32 PM
Billy A: It was amazing, especially being able to look down/i] on the common people and laugh 4:34 PM
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,923
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #36 on: December 23, 2012, 09:28:47 PM »
I hope that shelf life thingy doesn't happen automatically at 50 since I'm just a few short years from there.
don't worry, it doesn't.  8)
The problem is finding someone to throw up into the sling every night. ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,022
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #37 on: December 23, 2012, 09:37:44 PM »

He claims to have a big peepee, big guns, and abysmally tiny balls.

Here's my artistic rendition on La Guillermina, including a twink-style tank top, pencil-sized pecker, microscopic walnuts, a big gun of each kind to compensate for any shortcomings, and an Egyptian flavored taco in his left hand.  This work of art is completed by the elusive lipid panel scattered on the floor, waiting for the dog to eat it.



Haterz gonna hate the beautiful people ::)

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%
8/9/12, CD4 not taken, UD.
2/13/12, CD4- 904, UD 42%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,608
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #38 on: December 24, 2012, 01:04:48 AM »
I'll admit to being an outlier here. I'm heading relentlessly towards 47, and have recently discovered that I can go almost two days without sex. Three if you don't mind me being cranky.Trying to convince my bf that injection of healthy DNA will cure my head cold.

Two days?  I last had sex on December 3rd.  It was November 3rd before that.  I remember for obvious reasons, but because it was exactly one month apart.  I guess I am a bitch to most, by now.   ;)   :'(

Offline bloodtype

  • Member
  • Posts: 12
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #39 on: December 24, 2012, 02:28:11 PM »
You young ones need to know there is a shelf life on your junk , use it or lose it .

I've been abstaining since my diagnosis too, not out of fear but because I want to re-center myself, re-focus, and recover from my last relationship.

This advice has me reconsidering that point of view! True wisdom.

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,568
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #40 on: December 24, 2012, 02:45:13 PM »
Jeff, are you shooting blanks already?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,293
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #41 on: December 24, 2012, 03:59:08 PM »
Jeff, are you shooting blanks already?

The body is still willing but patience is the key , without proper inspiration my trouser snake spends a little more time looking at the foot board of my bed instead of the head board like it used too .
« Last Edit: December 24, 2012, 04:02:00 PM by jg1962 »

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 23,568
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #42 on: January 03, 2013, 09:36:04 AM »
Having sex with some other entity is irrelevant -- to keep oneself in proper functioning state you must maintain a steady masturbatory regimen.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,293
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #43 on: January 03, 2013, 09:49:30 AM »
Having sex with some other entity is irrelevant -- to keep oneself in proper functioning state you must maintain a steady masturbatory regimen.

You sound like my doc , she says the same thing . The last time I was in she abruptly asked me if I had been masturbating , I told her no because I was afraid she might walk in before I was finished .

Offline Denver Toad

  • Member
  • Posts: 152
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #44 on: January 03, 2013, 01:04:07 PM »
Quote
For many people of a mature age the emphases changes from one of a purely sexual act to one of intimacy and for single people intimacy is much more difficult to find than just raw sex and is even better if you can find both in one partner .

Here's a winner of a post. I'm over a half century old. None the less I still have the desire, the fire, and the ability. While wholly functional, I function at a less intense level than in years prior. Accepting that, I too look for a deeper and increasingly needed level of intimacy. It's not about spooning for hours on end, rather there's  more imaginative foreplay and afterglow.

Basically, getting over the hump of having to hump has enhanced the hump.
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

Offline coreFighter

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #45 on: January 03, 2013, 10:38:32 PM »
I'm trying to find balance myself. I went out with a guy, I really liked, but he said he couldn't date me because of my status.

But even though i've been dealing with some nutty health issues, you can't live in bubble wrap, you just can't. I'm not proud of my choices, but they are what make me whole. I also want find love some day. I just need to focus on my health first, then all things will follow, once I figure that out. I'll be okay.

Offline _dave_

  • Member
  • Posts: 18
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #46 on: January 06, 2013, 08:07:40 PM »
Ever since my diagnosis in October 2011 I haven't had any sexual intercourse. On the one hand I don't wanna have sex with someone without them knowing about my status and on the other hand I'm worried that if I disclose my status to someone the word would spread in my city's gay community.

I don't mind telling people who I trust. I told my family and a few friends. I even told two guys after we had met a couple of times and they were cool with it and although we never got into a relationship (I never had one btw, despite me being hot and smart and stuff ;D ) we're still friends.

I also read somewhere that one's undetectable viral load doesn't necessarily mean that there's no virus in the semen. I would never have unprotected sex (and never knowingly did) and I think the precum of someone who's UD is of negligible risk - please correct me if I'm mistaken.
But if one finds out about my status afterwards there's a good chance that he's really mad about that and if he contracts HIV from someone else he'll probably think he got it from me and I don't wanna get sued. That's another part of the reason why I don't feel comfortable having sex with someone whithout them knowing about my status.

But if I disclose my positivity to the wrong person and they tell others, then some guys are gonna have prejudices before even getting to know me personally and probably don't even want to get to know me.

Maybe some of you can empathize with my situation and tell me what they would do.

Thank you for reading this  :-*

No, no and NO!

Why would you disclose your HIV status to people?

I think that is something totally personal and private.

If you meet a guy and then you're gonna have sex , a condom should be used no matter if you disclose to him your positive HIV status or not. Even if you're negative, a condom should always be used. So I don't see the point on disclosing something SO PERSONAL to someone you probably just met and dont even know if that relationship is gonna grow up or if its going to fade and not work.

I have met several guys after I knew I was positive, and never disclose my HIV status to any of them because either way we should always use a condom.

I do ADMIT that I met guys who wanted to have unprotected sex with me, and I did it a few couple times . They did not know that I was HIV positive. But HEY, they are grownups! That is their responsability if they decide not to use a condom. If they did it with me, they would probably have done it also with other people before.

So, basically we are all adults. We can't be disclosing our HIV status to every single people we meet. As adults that are going to have sex, everyone should know whats best for each one.

This probably is a "cold" point of view, but that's the way we handle it here. In my country there is a special HIV/AIDS law that protects the privacy of the information of every people -among other things-. For example, when my doctor gives me the prescription for me to get the HIV medication, she does not put my name on it, she "decodes" my name including the 2 first letters of my name + 2 first letters of my last name + birthdate.  So , as  you can imagine, we are always "trained" and told that the confidentiality of our HIV status is even protected by law. So by law I have the right not to disclose my HIV status to anyone I dont feel like to.


Online mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 10,736
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #47 on: January 06, 2013, 08:44:27 PM »
Dave from Argentina, you are obviously speaking about your personal choices and your situation in Argentina.
Please be aware that there are some states in the USA, and some countries, where by law you must disclose your HIV status before having sex. 
Whether or not condoms are used.  Whether or not there is transmission. Okidokey?
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Online Jeff G

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 9,293
  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #48 on: January 06, 2013, 09:07:04 PM »
Sigh ... daves post makes me want to slink back into the LTS forum and never fucking crawl back out .

Offline _dave_

  • Member
  • Posts: 18
Re: S.E.X.
« Reply #49 on: January 06, 2013, 09:35:25 PM »
Dave from Argentina, you are obviously speaking about your personal choices and your situation in Argentina.
Please be aware that there are some states in the USA, and some countries, where by law you must disclose your HIV status before having sex. 
Whether or not condoms are used.  Whether or not there is transmission. Okidokey?

I do understand that . But still, I believe this is something personal and everyone has the right to its own privacy.

Besides, let's say that an HIV positive person has sex with someone who is negative, and the negative person gets infected. How will the Law determine that it was you who infected the other person and it wasnt anyone else ? There's no way to find  that out.

Like I said before, if they are adults enough to face a sexual relationship, they should be adults enough to face whatever comes after that as well (not only HIV infection, but also  pregnancy and any other STD) . The same way that us, HIV positive people did at some point of our lives.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.