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Author Topic: Condom Slip - please help  (Read 9136 times)

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Offline paulv21981

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Condom Slip - please help
« on: December 20, 2012, 05:36:52 PM »
OK, So last month I met a few guys and preformed oral sex on. None came in my mouth but I don't know if I got pre cum in my mouth.

I always thought my oral hygiene was ok - I brush my teeth twice a day sometimes more. But recently I have seen blood when I brush sometimes. I never spit blood in general - however one day I was pressing on my lip a bit and noticed a little blood but when I went to brush my teeth 5 minutes later no blood was there.

My friend took a look at my gums for me and he said they are very healthy. He said they are very light pink. If you had bleeding gums they would be red.

Ok. So I haven't been to the dentist for 7 years which yes I know is very bad but I guess that would mean I have bad oral hygiene for not going to the dentist.

Now I am worried that I have caught HIV from sucking with not being to the dentist for 7 years and potential having bleeding gums ect.

What is the risk??? Considering that no-one came in my mouth.

How bad do your gums have to bleed?

Thanks

Paul.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2012, 07:01:09 PM »
You never had an exposure from oral sex.

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2012, 07:10:53 PM »
Thanks for your reply. Even with bleeding gums???

My friend has said the same thing, but he said no risk because no-one came in my mouth and he doesn't think I have bleeding gums because my gums are pink. But I am worried about pre-cum.

I want to go to dentist for check up and keep going every six months, but I'm dead dead worried that when I go the dentist will say your gums are very bad and you have a very bad case of bleeding gums. Then I will be even more worried than I am now.

The last person I was with was 4 weeks ago. So from what I have read I could get tested in 2 weeks and it would give me a kind of clear indication of my status.

Paul.



Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2012, 07:24:33 PM »
Since we have yet to absolutely verify transmission through oral sex outside of patient report after the fact, it's anybody's guess as to what extent bleeding gums present a risk for HIV infection. If you want to know the current guideline used on this forum, I suggest you Google "meth mouth." That would illustrate the amount of damage necessary to overcome the dozen or so different elements in saliva that neutralize HIV.

Again, it's theoretical until we can actually verify, in serodiscordant relationship studies,a case of transmission through oral sex.

Personally, I think you are worried over nothing. The statistics on HIV infection point to unprotected anal and vaginal sex being the primary if not the ONLY means of transmission.

If you feel you need to test for peace of mind, go for it. But this does not sound at all like an HIV risk.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2012, 07:47:54 PM »
OK, Thanks for the reply....

.....so saliva can kill the virus....but if your mouth has large cuts and more than one and a load of other things going on in your mouth, the saliva will basically not be able to cope with killing the virus before it reaches open cuts?

To this theory then. I assume that there is less virus in pre-cum. So it will be easier for saliva to kill pre-cum than cum? Is that correct?

I have googled meth mouth and my mouth is no-way near like that. I have took a pictures see what you think. There is a little tar tar at my back teeth and a little stain on front. But the gums look pink. I am unable to post these pictures though.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2012, 09:01:41 PM »
OK, Thanks for the reply....

.....so saliva can kill the virus....but if your mouth has large cuts and more than one and a load of other things going on in your mouth, the saliva will basically not be able to cope with killing the virus before it reaches open cuts?

To this theory then. I assume that there is less virus in pre-cum. So it will be easier for saliva to kill pre-cum than cum? Is that correct?

I have googled meth mouth and my mouth is no-way near like that. I have took a pictures see what you think. There is a little tar tar at my back teeth and a little stain on front. But the gums look pink. I am unable to post these pictures though.

There's a reason I asked you to Google "meth mouth" without plastering a photo on the site. Please don't throw up a photo of your mouth. No human being, no scientist or doctor would, could, or should diagnose your oral health over the internet.

You had no risk. You seriously, seriously had no risk.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2012, 10:50:25 PM »
OK. Thanks.

I am reading more and I want to know about hairy leukoplakia.

Can you get this after 2 months possible exposure? I don't know if I have it or not but I am worried I do.

I noticed on the 24/11 I had which did look like teeth marks on the side of my tongue I had one raised lump where my fang would go if I press down and another raised lump looks like white on it as well.

I am trying to find out of the internet and most sites say that hairy leukoplakia is in early symptomatic infection which would be years after infection.

Then some websites say that hairy leukoplakia can be the first signs of HIV....meaning that you can get in when you have been infected in the last couple of months.

I found this on this website:

OHL is often one of the first opportunistic infections to occur in HIV-positive people. It can occur at any T-cell count. HIV-positive people with more than 500 T-cells have developed OHL, but it is most common among HIV-positive people with fewer than 200 T-cells

....so whats 500 t-cells and 200 t-cells
When would you get this?

If I was positive after two months of possible exposure could I have more than 500 t-cells or fewer than 200 t-cells?

« Last Edit: December 20, 2012, 10:55:50 PM by paulv21981 »

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2012, 07:06:44 AM »
Paul,

You're really overthinking this. OHL can happen to anyone regardless of hiv status. If you're worried about OHL, show your tongue to a qualified dentist and stop looking for a diagnosis over the internet.

We're not going to get into a discussion about T-cells with you. It's irrelevant where you're concerned.

At the end of the day, if you cannot bring yourself to believe us that you had no risk, go test, collect your negative result and move on with your life. As a sexually active adult, you should be testing regularly anyway.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2012, 07:08:13 AM »
Paul,

I deleted the post you left in someone else's thread.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2012, 04:26:32 PM »
OK Ann,

Thanks....so OHL - I don't know if I have it or not though :-(

But on the 24/11 I had what looked like dents on the top of my tongue at the edge -they did look white on top of the dents but not coated white.
 I thought I bite my tongue while eating because the dents are where my teeth could go.

Now I don't have them as much the dents have gone down loads and they are not white at all.

So I have few questions.
Would OHL do this?
Would OHL be a symptom of HIV after just 2 months of possible exposure?
Does OHL go away on its own? And if it does what is the usually time frame it goes away?
Does OHL sting? For example I was putting Bonjela on it to get it down but it didnt sting at all.

Hope to hear back from you.

Paul.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2012, 10:39:27 PM »
Paul, Ann has already covered your issues very thoroughly within the context of clearly stating you did not have a risk for HIV.

We're not going to indulge your obsessive drama about your non-risk by answering your latest list of what ifs.

Now I am going to warn you that if you continue to return here about this non-risk you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out for at least 28 days from the site. HIV is not your problem. Period.

If you have symptoms discuss them with the appropriate medical person. If you can't let go of your unwarranted fears then see a professional with whom you can discuss the situation. We can't do that for you in this setting.

Consider yourself warned. 
Andy Velez

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #11 on: December 26, 2012, 06:58:56 PM »
Thanks Andy,

Sorry to go on about it...just I was and still I'm a little worried - maybe not as much now... as I do think that to catch it from blow jobs you mouth has to be very bad and that is with cum in your mouth.

I am talking about pre-cum in my mouth, if that - as I am still not sure if I got pre cum in my mouth.

My oral hygiene is not bad....my gums are very pink colour - just my back teeth has a little plaque on the bottom.

Paul.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #12 on: December 26, 2012, 07:08:29 PM »
Doubts and fears are not facts. You are worrying needlessly. Give it up and get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #13 on: January 02, 2013, 07:16:29 PM »
Hi....its me again with a question.

I hope I have posted this right? Because I am not sure if I should start a new thread or use this one.

Basically I have a bf before the situation of having oral sex with the guys and we were in closed relationship - we spit up due to me being stupid with the guys - we split up before I did oral - not because I went with other guys. We still spoke and now we are back together.

I told him everything about what I did and he said no risk and we have had unprotected anal sex. I came in his ass. I know you have said that I never had a risk when I did oral - but my question is.....if I did catch HIV from oral then had anal sex and came in a guys ass around 1-3 months after exposure.

We both are in a stronger relationship and I was stupid in October - I trust him 100% and always trusted him and he feels the same way to me.

I told him all about my experiences in Oct and he tells me that if he thought I was at risk he wouldnt of had unprotected sex with me.

If I did catch it from oral sex I would guess that I would be very highly infectious viral load.

I would like to know the risk of him catching if I have it?

Paul.


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #14 on: January 02, 2013, 09:02:42 PM »
If you had recently contracted HIV then the risk to him was the highest possible level. It is not uncommon for recently infected people to have viral loads in the hundreds if thousands if not millions. And for your partner, receptive snap sex is the absolute highest sexual risk.

But you did not have a legitimate risk and are not infected.  And had you simply gotten a test at three months before you had unprotected anal sex with your boyfriend, you would be sure of your status and this situation would not have arisen.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2013, 09:19:48 PM »
Yes I know, if I'm honest I am worried to go for the test, sorry. He knows this as well, and he gets angry with me and says he doesn't want to talk about it. He said that he wouldn't of done unprotected sex and came in him if he thought I was at risk.

On the 11th January it will be 4 weeks when we had the unprotected sex and on the 7th January they have testing in our local clinic with results in 20mins. I can't go but he says he will go to prove to me.

I have one question though which probably will seem silly......after I came in his ass he cleaned like he usually does before sex - would this stop the HIV...because you have in a way got the cum out???

Paul.

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #16 on: January 02, 2013, 09:30:16 PM »
I found a power point presentation
www.mpaetc.org/fdc_06/reznik_oralsex.ppt

One slide:

The Options Project found that 7.8% (8 of 102) of recently infected men who have sex with men in San Francisco were probably infected through oral sex.

Nearly half (3 of 8) of these cases reported oral problems, including occasional bleeding gums.
Almost all (7 of 8) of these men reported to have had oral contact with pre-semen or semen.


My big worry is that I haven't been to the dentist for like 7 years maybe even longer - So I am guessing I have bad oral hygiene and probably you say no risk for people because people go to the dentist every 6 months and I haven't been.

I am starting to clean my teeth proper now unlike before I do get bleeding gums at the back but I never have bleeding gums in general without brushing.
For example if I spit I never see blood - its only when I brush my teeth.

Have you seen the power point presentation?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2013, 12:31:31 AM »
I found a power point presentation
www.mpaetc.org/fdc_06/reznik_oralsex.ppt

One slide:

The Options Project found that 7.8% (8 of 102) of recently infected men who have sex with men in San Francisco were probably infected through oral sex.

Nearly half (3 of 8) of these cases reported oral problems, including occasional bleeding gums.
Almost all (7 of 8) of these men reported to have had oral contact with pre-semen or semen.


My big worry is that I haven't been to the dentist for like 7 years maybe even longer - So I am guessing I have bad oral hygiene and probably you say no risk for people because people go to the dentist every 6 months and I haven't been.

I am starting to clean my teeth proper now unlike before I do get bleeding gums at the back but I never have bleeding gums in general without brushing.
For example if I spit I never see blood - its only when I brush my teeth.

Have you seen the power point presentation?


Actually I have. I happen to live in Atlanta, GA. I saw the presentation online in 1993, two full years after the most recent study that made up the presentation. The other two research studies that supported this hypothesis were published in 1984 and 1986 - a full TEN YEARS before the advent of Anti Retroviral Therapy that changed the course of the pandemic.

And even back then, it was shoddy science. It relied on patient report, which is notorious for being unreliable. You know we've actually had science since then? I mean real, peer reviewed science to track serodiscordant couples? Three distinct studies on two continents that studied hundreds of couples for ten, five and three years. All of whom engaged in unprotected oral sex in every conceivable manner, but only used condoms for penetrative anal and oral sex. And guess what. Not a single infection through oral sex. Not a single one.

Sure, if you want to surf the web you can find studies dating back to the eighties (which you have) and even earlier than the ancient ones you dredged up. They will say you get HIV from kissing, cuddling, sharing food, "microscopic cuts." Look far enough and you will find all sorts of published findings in the day before we even had electron microscopes powerful enough to see the virus.

Trawling the net for outdated information, especially such discredited stuff that relied upon patient report, might be cathartic to fuel your fear. But it's not reliable science, and it's an insult to insinuate that I am talking out of my ass.

The serodiscordant couple studies I mentioned were staged between the late nineties and the mid-200s. To the best of my knowledge, we don't have many if any studies in the pipeline to ascertain the infectiousness of oral sex as regards HIV infection - because it has been established that it's unlikely if not impossible to get HIV through giving a blow job.

I am hoping that you are too young to remember the 80s and early 90s when it came to HIV. The Hysteria, the people dropping like flies, the toxic and lethal doses of AZT monotherapy, and the lack of healthy HIV positive people in relationships with HIV negative people to even formulate a study on causation and transmission theory.

What you read was and is shit masquerading as science. It was scientists who, if I am ascribing the noblest intentions, were scrambling without any real knowledge of the mechanics of HIV infection to discover the means by which people infected by asking them, often in the company of their partners and family, what sexual acts they did. Ascribing less than noble intentions simply shows scientists whose adherence to the Socratic method were less important than their tenure and/or status.

Just because a scientific theory is disproven does not mean that it magically disappears from the internet, from journals, from the annals of scientific methodology. Often these studies are kept and used as a cautionary tale to those who would desperately or cynically leap to a conclusion without the data required to even formulate their hypothesis.

Since we have been studying serodiscordant couples we have yet to find a single instance of HIV transmitted through oral sex. So any speculation we give (and we freely admit to giving it, my mentioning meth mouth as a possible caveat) is veering from data driven science and moving into the realm of speculation.

You will not get HIV from giving a blow job. Period. While you are trawling the web for answers, could you at least google the scientist whose quote appears in my signature line?

Also, I have no sympathy for someone who refuses to go for an HIV test out of fear, yet A) assumes that he might be exposed/infected and B) has unprotected insertive anal sex with his partner. If your paranoia was justified and you REALLY thought you might have gotten HIV, then you have done a truly shitty thing.

If you REALLY thought you could have gotten infected, then you had no business having raw sex with your partner. Period. Because in  a relationship, it's not just/all about YOU. If you thought you could have gotten HIV through oral sex, you did a horrible thing that could have lifelong consequences for someone else. And frankly, I hope you feel badly enough about that decision that you grow a pair of nads and just get tested already.

You had no risk. You cannot infect someone with a pathogen you don't have. But your behavior suggests that you don't believe that - and suggests that you care less for the health of the person you purport to love than facing the reality of your choices.

This is my last message to you in this forum. I leave it to others who have more patience.

You do not have HIV. But you THINK you might. And yet you still fuck this guy who has chosen to trust you without a condom. Regardless of the science, I hope you can someday become a person who does better things.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex
« Reply #18 on: January 05, 2013, 02:13:01 PM »
Hi Jkinatl2,

Thanks for you reply. Your right I know - going for testing on Monday :-(
My partner is going on Thursday testing because they get the results in 20mins.

We had sex which you are right - he wanted to prove me to that I had no risk. I was getting to the point of having panic attacks. He has spoke to the sexual advisor we both know as we have both been there together for test and she wants to refer me for help.

Anyway I totally agree with what you said it was a bad thing.

Offline paulv21981

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Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2013, 07:52:35 PM »
So,

I met a guy had protected anal sex - but not really full sex it asted about 30 sec. He put the condom on me and sat on me and after about 30 seconds I asked him to get up and the condom was in his ass and he pulled it out, said he did it on purpose in case it was dirty.

What is the risk?


Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2013, 08:55:36 PM »
Paul,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines.

I asked you to read those guidelines back in reply #8. Stop breaking our rules.





You didn't have a risk.

As the insertive parter, you're supposed to hang on to the condom when you withdraw. Not only is this just good sexual etiquette, but it will also stop you from freaking out every time you have sexual contact.

Are you trying to contrive a true risk situation so we can tell you unequivocally that you need to test? Knock it off.

If you're sexually active, you should be testing regularly anyway without all these dramatics on your part and without our prompting.

Old enough to have sex? Then you're old enough to take responsibility for your sexual health by getting a full panel of STI testing done on a regular basis.

Ann



Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2013, 09:03:43 PM »
Hi Ann,

Thanks for your comments. I am very new to all this. I had a long closed relationship and we never had anal sex because we couldn't. Anyway I then meet another partner and we do have anal sex and he is only the person I have had full sex to the end with.

The person who I had the condom incident with told me he did that on purpose in case it was dirty.

I stopped what we were doing after 30 seconds.

I am starting to annoy people, so sorry - I have been asking the guy loads of questions as well.

Thanks ann and sorry to annoy you.

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Oral Sex and Condom Slip - Results
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2013, 07:59:05 PM »
Hi guys,

Well I finally went for the test today and it was negative. The place were I went I have been before and the nurse could see I was nervous and he did a 20min test on me, usually the give results in 2 weeks. I think the only do the 20mins test if they are going to give PEP out.

Anyway, I want to say thanks to all of you for replying and patients - I know I asked many questions and kept asking over and over again so I'm sorry for annoying you all.

I just want to also say to people like myself that keep asking questions about oral sex and getting told no risk and asking what if and what if.

My situation - I performed oral sex on many guys and my oral health isn't great ! I haven't been to the dentist for 10 years! My gums do bleed as well. I have recently gone to the dentist and I need 10 small fillings which I'm half way through now.

I asked the nurse many questions - So he said the risk is pretty non-existence - its just in this country that can't say zero risk but really they do mean zero risk.
I said about meth mouth damaging your mouth and if guys cum in your mouth could you catch it, he said well I can see why they say that in regards to "meth mouth" - but again is still very low to pretty non existence.

I just wished that everybody in the industry and all the stuff on the internet would get wiped off.

The only thing you need to remember is wear a condom for anal and viginal sex - if you don't or it breaks go straight away to A&E for PEP. And make sure it doesn't happen again. That's how simple it is.

Anyway I know how much people worry because I did the same for months. But I am starting to learn more - The nurse has referred me for health anxiety therapy. Maybe some of the guys on here that are like me and keep repeating things might look into this.

Again thanks for everyone in replying.

Paul.



Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2013, 05:51:11 AM »
Paul,

I can't tell you how happy I am that you were fortunate enough to come across a nurse who actually knew what he was talking about. And not only that, but also referred you to counselling for your anxiety. Score!

Along with using condoms correctly and consistently, don't forget to get annual FULL sexual health screens (please re-read reply #7 in this thread). Do both of these and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple, as you have come to realise. And thank goodness!

Good luck with your counselling sessions and stick with them.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #24 on: January 29, 2013, 01:52:51 PM »
Thanks Ann,

Yeah on Monday he did a full screening as well for me.

So just one last question...sorry...When you say don't forget to have a full screening then you will avoid infection.
Is this because if you have STI then HIV infection is easier to transmit to you?

In theory what if you have mouth STI and give blow job? As you know you might not know if you have an STI.


Paul.

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #25 on: February 04, 2013, 12:09:36 PM »
Hi,

I know the condom slip was no risk and the guy rubbing his penis around my balls and cumming there was no risk. I licked his anus for a while. This incident happened as you know on the 12th Jan.

I had the rapid test on the 28th Jan.

I noticed today spots over my back, unsure if this is  HIV rash or just spots as I do have oily skin. The spots as you can see are not blotchy. I have put a picture up, please can you look at it and see in your experience if this looks like a ARS HIV rash.

Also as the incident happen on the 12th - how likely would the actions of the event show on the 28th Jan.

Please look at the pictures below :

edited by Ann to remove photos


I will look forward to hearing your reply.


Thanks

Paul.
« Last Edit: February 04, 2013, 12:43:59 PM by Ann »

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #26 on: February 04, 2013, 12:48:58 PM »
Paul,

We do not do diagnosis here, as you well know. I removed your photos.

The bottom line is that YOU HAVE  NOT HAD A RISK FOR HIV INFECTION.

This has gone on long enough. I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Scratch on the skin
« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2013, 10:34:07 PM »
Hi,

Well from all my panic in previous posts there were all non risk which I was told and yeah I am like most people on here and ask and ask and can't control myself.

I had bad oral health as I didn't go to the dentist for 14 years. Now I have been had fillings and had a full clean. But even with my so called risk its ok, because they weren't really risks which I know more now.

Now.....I already think I know the answer to this but still I'm unsure and want to know I'm right.

I went to a sauna on Thursday -
I didn't perform oral on anyone -
Just had about 3 guys perform oral on me -
Never had anal sex

The night before (around 15 hours) I removed my hair with hair removal cream and used a plastic spatula.
One area I cut but it wasn't a bleeding cut it was more like a scratch. So I saw no blood. But when I touch it now it has the rough feeling like there was a cut there.

So anyway on the Thursday when I woke up I put Germolene on it.
I also went in the hot tube for a bit when I arrived at the sauna which I think would help heal it up.

On the Thursday when I saw the scratch I had no blood and it didn't look open. I'm guessing that an open cut would be bleeding.

Anyway no-one came over it but I may of had pre cum around the scratch.

So my question is would I be at risk?

I think not, and I think that I could be at risk if the cut was deep open and the person's cum came into contact with the cut straight away - but still this wouldn't be that much of risk because the virus would of been exposed to air and die within seconds?

I just would like to see if I'm right?

Again the cut was not bleeding and didn't look open. So if this was no risk
What if the cut was bleeding and was open. Would that be risk or no risk?

That was my incident.

This is a little question that I shouldn't ask because you only assess incidents and don't answer question of  "If's"

But I would like to know what happens if you pick a spot that bleeds and its open and a guy cums on your face over that spot.
Would that be a risk?
Or if you have a spot on your back that is bleeding and you lay on a bench that has cum or blood on it.
I think these would be no risk due to the virus not surviving outside the body?????


Thanks in advance

Paul

Online Jeff G

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #28 on: March 15, 2013, 10:55:28 PM »
Um .... You absolutely did NOT have a risk and do not need to test over any of the incidents you had . Picking a sore for a guy to cum on isnt a risk for HIV nor is it a risk lay in a puddle some one left behind , this isn't the way HIV is contracted so you are OK and do not need to worry . 

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #29 on: March 15, 2013, 10:58:59 PM »
Thanks for your quick response.
So what do they mean by open cuts on the skin is a way HIV can be transmitted?

Does it mean a deep cut on your hand and you masturbate a guy and he cums in the open cut?


Online Jeff G

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #30 on: March 15, 2013, 11:18:36 PM »
Thanks for your quick response.
So what do they mean by open cuts on the skin is a way HIV can be transmitted?

Does it mean a deep cut on your hand and you masturbate a guy and he cums in the open cut?



HIV is a fragile virus and is actually a hard to transmit virus . There is allot , I mean allot of bad information out there . Im going to ask you to use your common sense and think about it . If you had a cut on your hand deep enough to transmit HIV , do you really think you would be masturbating a guy to completion without so much pain. If HIV was this easy to pass back and forth all humanity would be infected by now and we know that this isn't true and that people NEVER get HIV from giving handjobs , scratches or no scratches .

You know how HIV is contracted and that's is by engaging in unprotected vaginal or anal sex ...period . The next time you begin to question your HIV status and risk , just stop and ask yourself did I have unprotected anal or vaginal sex . If the answer is no , then you can believe in what you already know and that's that you are indeed HIV negative and simply worrying again over nothing . You do already know the answers , just believe in yourself .   

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #31 on: March 15, 2013, 11:26:54 PM »
Thanks for that. Yes I do kind of know I don't really know whats wrong, probably doubting yourself. Or I have never been one who likes to say Oh I will pass this exam and when I don't I feel that I was silly for saying it.
So I think it comes to this - saying oh I had no risk at all but then I get it and feel silly for not going to a&e for pep or I would get angry with myself.

Anyway, I know I am being stupid. I have had anal sex with 3 guys protected and two only lasted under one minute in 6 months and I have had 3 HIV test.

Do you know much about the skin? for example I know that a scratch or cut would have to be deep - due to the amount of layers to make it open to the bloodstream. Do you know anything about how deep to open the bloodstream. I read something like you have 10 layers of skin, then fat which is thick then the muscle - so in all that where is the opening? is in in the fat after all the layers?

Basically I think that if the was an opening for HIV on your hand of anywhere on your body you wouldn't really leave the house without a plaster or bandage on it because you would be covered or your clothes in blood.
I'm I right about that?

My scratch - which I will say scratch because there was no blood - so I would say 100% no risk on that due to the skin not really being open just look like a very faded scar.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #32 on: March 15, 2013, 11:44:59 PM »
HIV isn't contracted or acquired through scratches and cuts and I wrote what I did to illustrate that HIV isn't your problem , your fear of HIV is the problem . There is little we can do to help you overcome that fear other than suggest you seek counseling and therapy to get past your fears . Im wising you the best of luck and letting you know we cant continue to answer your questions in good conscious all the while knowing we cant offer you the help you need . After a point answering your questions is simply enabling you to come here for help that we cant give . Peace to you my friend .

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #33 on: March 15, 2013, 11:58:42 PM »
Thanks Jeff,

I know your right, but thanks for taking the time to re assure me.
My nurse said the same thing to me and I have started to see someone about that.


Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #34 on: March 16, 2013, 11:57:50 PM »
Just to update.

I went to A&E today and spoke about the situation above. He said that an open cut has to be fresh and bleeding and the HIV + would have to bleed into the the open cut for there to be any risk but still is very very low.

With regards to open cuts it is blood to blood. You wouldn't catch HIV in a semen to  blood kind of way. Semen to blood can happens with the mucuous membrane because its easy for semen to be absorbed, when it cuts or tears the membrane is unable to halt infection. Whereas skin is strong and able to do this with regards to semen.

He looked at my scratch and also said that its not even a cut and so no risk at all. But he also said I can't say no risk but I do actually mean no risk. He said if it was a deep cut then it would of healed the way it is now.

What I have found in this country is that when there is no risk - they say very low risk - no Doctors can say you had a zero risk of HIV - if you had sexual contact they will never say no risk (but they do actually mean no risk).

I have been lucky the past few months and had knowledgeable Doctors who give me straight answers.

Anyway I am always learning. Thanks to everyone on here that replies to my questions.


Paul.

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #35 on: March 17, 2013, 05:22:57 AM »
Paul,

Have you actually been seeing the counsellor/therapist the nurse referred you to back in January? I sure hope so, because you're still displaying an unhealthy (from a mental health point of view), irrational fear of contracting hiv from situations that do not carry a risk.

If you're not seeing the therapist, you should be. If you are seeing the therapist, perhaps you need to be seeing him or her a little more often until you get a grip of yourself. You may also need to be taking an antidepressant or anti-anxiety agent in the meantime, along with the talk therapy. Talk therapy hand-in-hand with the correct psycho-active drug has been shown to have the best success rate.

If your therapist isn't teaching you something called CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy, which teaches you how to break the chain of unwanted, irrational thoughts that cycle through your thinking process), then maybe you should ask about CBT and if the therapist you're currently seeing isn't qualified to work with patients using CBT, maybe he or she could refer you to one who does.

At the end of the day, we've told you all we can about hiv prevention. If you keep coming back to discuss your irrational thoughts concerning hiv transmission, you're going to end up with another Time Out. This forum is not meant to be used as a substitute for one-on-one mental health therapy.

Please consider yourself warned!!!

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #36 on: May 17, 2013, 04:26:30 PM »
Ok
So I think I know the answer to this question.

I sucked three guys on Saturday and I had a mouth ulcer.
They didn't cum in my mouth.

Days later I sucked another guy and I have a sore throat. He didn't cum in my mouth.

I'm I right in saying blow job is no risk unless they cum in your mouth and your mouth is very very bad "meth mouth".

My risk is no risk?

Online Jeff G

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #37 on: May 17, 2013, 04:31:58 PM »
That's correct Paul , you did NOT have a risk .

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #38 on: May 17, 2013, 04:36:54 PM »
Ok
So I think I know the answer to this question.

I sucked three guys on Saturday and I had a mouth ulcer.
They didn't cum in my mouth.

Days later I sucked another guy and I have a sore throat. He didn't cum in my mouth.

I'm I right in saying blow job is no risk unless they cum in your mouth and your mouth is very very bad "meth mouth".

My risk is no risk?


Please reread your thread. Your questions have all been answered time and again. But I have a question, or rather Moderator Ann had one in March:

Quote
Paul,

Have you actually been seeing the counsellor/therapist the nurse referred you to back in January? I sure hope so, because you're still displaying an unhealthy (from a mental health point of view), irrational fear of contracting hiv from situations that do not carry a risk.

If you're not seeing the therapist, you should be. If you are seeing the therapist, perhaps you need to be seeing him or her a little more often until you get a grip of yourself. You may also need to be taking an antidepressant or anti-anxiety agent in the meantime, along with the talk therapy. Talk therapy hand-in-hand with the correct psycho-active drug has been shown to have the best success rate.

If your therapist isn't teaching you something called CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy, which teaches you how to break the chain of unwanted, irrational thoughts that cycle through your thinking process), then maybe you should ask about CBT and if the therapist you're currently seeing isn't qualified to work with patients using CBT, maybe he or she could refer you to one who does.

At the end of the day, we've told you all we can about hiv prevention. If you keep coming back to discuss your irrational thoughts concerning hiv transmission, you're going to end up with another Time Out. This forum is not meant to be used as a substitute for one-on-one mental health therapy.

Please consider yourself warned!!!

Ann


Please note the warning.

Thing is, coming back here when you have an irrational thought is counter-productive. It sabotages your therapy (assuming you are actually going) and it reinforces destructive behavior.

I certainly cannot in good conscience continue to provide negative reinforcement to these fears, which time and again we have thoroughly explained to you.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #39 on: May 18, 2013, 09:20:15 AM »
Sorry jkinatl2
You're completely right and I do know it's no risk I just always have that little bit of doubt which I know it's my problem and you can't help with that I shouldn't of posted it cos it's wasting your time anyway just a reply to say sorry.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #40 on: May 18, 2013, 09:28:25 AM »
Doubts and fears are not facts. And there is nothing factual to support your concerns. As you have been told repeatedly and in detail.

There is nothing more we can do for you at this point in this setting. I am going to give you a long overdue 56 day Time Out. This is your second time out. The next time will get you permanently banned from the site.

Get yourself the professional help you need to effectively deal with your irrational fears.

« Last Edit: May 18, 2013, 09:42:49 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #41 on: July 29, 2013, 07:06:35 PM »
Hi,

I'm not going to talk about situation and annoy you guys from my previous non risk situations.
They have all been stupid and I know that but I do have a question and I wanted to ask you guys rather than the nurses at the sexual health centre.
I feel you guys are very knowledgable.

Now I know rimming is zero risk. First I'm I right in saying rimming is zero more than performing a blow job. Because performing blow job his viral load would have to be sky high and your mouth round have to very very bad - meth mouth.
Now I'm I right in saying if you had very bad meth mouth and viral load was sky high than rimming is still zero risk but performing a blow job isn't?

My important question : this might sound bad but what if you go very deep with your tongue to rim a guy? Would that still be no risk? Because the virus is found in anal mucous.


Thanks

Paul.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #42 on: July 29, 2013, 07:27:05 PM »
Hi,

I'm not going to talk about situation and annoy you guys from my previous non risk situations.
They have all been stupid and I know that but I do have a question and I wanted to ask you guys rather than the nurses at the sexual health centre.
I feel you guys are very knowledgable.

Now I know rimming is zero risk. First I'm I right in saying rimming is zero more than performing a blow job. Because performing blow job his viral load would have to be sky high and your mouth round have to very very bad - meth mouth.
Now I'm I right in saying if you had very bad meth mouth and viral load was sky high than rimming is still zero risk but performing a blow job isn't?

My important question : this might sound bad but what if you go very deep with your tongue to rim a guy? Would that still be no risk? Because the virus is found in anal mucous.


Thanks

Paul.


Well, inasmuch as there has never, ever been a case of HIV even remotely documented from rimming, I would posit that it's as close to zero risk as medical science can venture. Of course there's not an ethical way to do human trials with this sort of thing, as the oral conditions that would theoretically facilitate infection could not go untreated while the study was ongoing.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #43 on: July 29, 2013, 09:05:43 PM »
Thanks for your reply.
Do you think that going deeper makes no difference with risk?
I think to be honest risk is only present if you have very bad oral health and noticeable blood - it would be very strange for you to be rimming with a mouth like that.

The only reason why I asked is because I love doing it and one guy said that no one has done it like me that deep so then I started thinking I'm I going in too deep and do other guys not go in deep because its safer sex not to fully go in deep.

Sorry for the questions.

Paul.

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #44 on: July 29, 2013, 09:10:58 PM »
Hi Paul ... JK pointed out that there has never been a reported case of rimming leading to an HIV infection , that's pretty conclusive .

 

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #45 on: July 30, 2013, 07:22:48 AM »
Paul,

Rimming is absolutely not a risk for hiv infection. However, it is a risk for bacterial and parasitical infections, so if you start getting gastrointestinal upsets (nausea,vomiting and/or diarrhea) after rimming, don't think hiv, think bacteria.

Don't think I'm being judgemental, because I'm not. I just want you to be aware that rimming can cause other problems. There's a reason why you're supposed to wash your hands after using the toilet, and bacterial infections associated with the lower digestive tract is that reason. While treatable, E.coli infections aren't pleasant.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #46 on: July 30, 2013, 06:42:14 PM »
Thanks for reply.
I did read its no risk I just thought that it might be risk if you went in deeper to rim (I know it sounds bad).

Yes it's a big route for other infections.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #47 on: July 30, 2013, 07:16:08 PM »
Paul, I want to caution you at this point. As you have been told rimming is not a risk for HIV. Period. You have already had two time outs. Here it is 3 strikes and you are banned permanently.

So don't get going on a lot of what ifs and unfounded worries. This latest incident is simply not an HIV situation. Period.

Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #48 on: July 31, 2013, 05:06:10 AM »
Paul,

One thing I should have mentioned - rimming is a risk for hep A and B infections. You would be wise to get vaccinated against hep B.

Other than that, we're done here and Andy's warning definitely stands.

Ann
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Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline paulv21981

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Re: Condom Slip - please help
« Reply #49 on: September 11, 2013, 05:32:09 PM »
Hi,

I know I have been warned, please don't ban me.

I had full STD test 18th June all negative

Next full STD was 27th August and was tested positive for Gonorrhoea, HIV negative and Syphilis negative. The gonorrhoea was in the throat. I only found out this today.

On Sunday I sucked a guy off and I would like to know if having the gonorrhoea has increased my risk from HIV? If I knew I had it I wouldn't of done anything - I am always testing myself and I feel bad I sucked the guy off but I didn't have any symptoms at all. I don't even suck guys off when I have a slight cold or sore throat.


Paul.

 


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