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Author Topic: it was postivive  (Read 3963 times)

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Offline snwbrd

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it was postivive
« on: December 12, 2012, 08:30:38 AM »
well if you read my last post in am i infected, i was waiting for my results, and they were postive. i am freaking out. the docter didnt give me very much info, and the info she did i was kind of in a daze so i didnt retain any of it. im going to a regular docter today for what i think is unrelated rash that keeps popping up all over my body. im not telling my family for awhile. im just so confused. i dont have a whole lot of understanding what it means to live with hiv so i have some questions till i go to the dr to get my blood drawn for counts. which i still have to call up and make the appointment.
but what about diseases like the flu or whatever, what if i get them? is there extra precautions i should take if and when i do get it. i take care of my god daughter alot, is there extra precautions so she doesnt get it. i have more questions just cant think of them right now.

Offline Ann

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2012, 08:56:58 AM »
snw, you need to make sure your positive result was confirmed with a Western Blot test that was also positive. Until your results have been confirmed in this way, you are not considered to be hiv positive.

Please clarify and until then, please do not post in other threads. Thanks.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline snwbrd

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2012, 03:48:01 PM »
the blood work came back that i took about a week or so ago, postive, im not just posting im postive for nothing. i am scared and i was looking for support cause i thought i could find it here.

Offline bob_89q

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2012, 08:34:03 PM »
I understand how you feel. It's like a whirl wind of upset and disaster inconjunction with dispare and worry about everything.
Well, take a deep breath and have a cup of tea, you will need to understand that a lot of info will be sent your way over a small period of time.
I had the same worries as you. But I decided to continue to interact with the kids and decided to continue with my pursuits S much as possible.
My emotions changed from anger to well less anger (lol) and now I am trying to be pragmatic -)
Read everything you can on this forum, get your blood counts, have a cup of tea.
There is no quick fix to our situation, take one hour at a time and above all remember the treatment is better now than years gone.
Keep in touch

Offline snwbrd

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2012, 09:28:49 PM »
thanks, yea a lot of info has been sent my way but i dont think i digested a lot of it, have had a ton of blood drawn but i think im calming down some. i am up and down most the time.

Offline bob_89q

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2012, 05:57:25 AM »
Lol yup get used to letting that blood go as there be lots of tests over the next few months. Up and down? Man I was up and down more times than a roller coaster and probly just as fast!
It's hard to acknowledge but trust me, one day at a time. Then you will figure things out and calm down. It just takes time.

Offline snwbrd

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2012, 12:55:07 PM »
yea sometimes furing the day im like ok, i can deal with this, but then most of the day im like crap how can i deal with this. my biggest thing is i took care of someone who died of aids, so i cant get that out of my head at all, and i know she didnt take care of herself or take her meds, but i know, or my thinking is, that that is going to be my future, yea it may take 10-40 years or however long, but that could be me. and i told 3 people 2 are my closest friends, and they just kinda shrugged it off like it is nothing, and havent been any support. the other person i told was my coach for mma, and strength training and he was really supportive and i felt better after talking to him, but then the next day my computer broke, and for some reason that was a breaking point and i just lost it for a minute. been reading this thread and it has a lot of good info on here

Offline snwbrd

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2012, 01:02:26 PM »
oh one more questions i know yall arent docters, but my doc. said, that my cd4 count is 625, i dont have the results in front of me so dont know about viral load, i forgot, but i think it was like 37000 or something like that. but he wants me to go back in a month to check it again, then he said ever 3 months or so. but is 625 good?
« Last Edit: December 16, 2012, 01:06:31 PM by snwbrd »

Offline texaninnyc87

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2012, 01:22:14 PM »
625 is totally good. you're in the same range as an average healthy HIV negative person, so you shouldn't be worrying about that so much right now. theres some debate on whether or not to start meds right away in order to get your viral load down and keep those T cells up but I'm sure your doctor will explain all that to you. in terms of dying or getting really sick in 10-14 years, as long as you take care of yourself and take your meds you shouldn't worry about that. you can totally live a normal life span as long as you do what your doctors say, so calm down! there is a chance the worlds going to end in a few days anyways, so it might not matter at all  :o
also, its pretty easy for little things like computers breaking to remind you of all the things that are going wrong with your life. chances are, your computer would have broken down even if you'd never heard of HIV, so try to take each thing as it comes and dont get overwhelmed.
Dxd: 9/11/12
Blot confirmed: 11/12
12/12 cd4: 280 (20%) vl: 129,000
1/13 $tribild
2/13 cd4: 350 (26%) vl: 80
4/13 cd4: 510 (29%) vl:: 35
6/13cd4 350 (31%) vl: 21
9/13 cd4 492 (30%) vl: ud
12/13 cd4 846 (36%) vl: 100
1/14 cd4 480 (31%) vl: UD
3/14 cd4 650 (33%) vl: UD

Offline WindySkies

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  • Tested + 10/11/12
Re: it was postivive
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2012, 01:32:01 PM »
"A normal CD4 count can range from 500 cells/mm3 to 1,000 cells/mm3."

http://aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/just-diagnosed-with-hiv-aids/understand-your-test-results/cd4-count/

Theoretically the longer you go with out medication, the lower your number will get, and the higher the amount of virus in your body will increase.  There are unique cases where that is not true, but is very rare.

You seem to be very worried about numbers, OI's, and how your quality life will be, but you haven't decided to start medication yet?  What other type of disease would you get where you would delay treating it?  Especially one where you know it's directly affecting your bodies ability to fight off other infections?

It might be a personal choice, or a financial one, but stop and think about things before taking one doctors advice (if he is advising against meds right now).
10/11/2012 Journey Started
10/17/2012 First Labs: VL=57,645  CD4+=730  37%
10/31/2012 Started Complera
11/30/2012 Labs: VL=80  CD4+=929 40%
12/24/2012 Started Stribild

Undetectable since 1/15/13 CD4+= Over 1,000

Offline Ann

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2012, 06:17:54 AM »

What other type of disease would you get where you would delay treating it?  Especially one where you know it's directly affecting your bodies ability to fight off other infections?


There are plenty of other diseases/illnesses that are not immediately treated with heavy-duty meds, but are dealt with through changes in lifestyle and/or dietary type changes until such time as meds are definitely needed. I went for many years before starting meds - because my numbers were good - and I didn't worry about OIs or whatever. Just because one has hiv doesn't necessarily mean that the immune system is completely compromised. A CD4 count of 625 does not point to a compromised immune system.

Snow, you do have time to carefully consider your options. There's no need to panic with a CD4 count of 625.

Hang in there. You have time to come to terms with this emotionally and learn more about your options, so take a deep breath and take things one day at a time. Your doctor's plan of having labs done again in a month and then going on to regular monitoring sounds good and perfectly acceptable to me. You're going to be ok. OK?
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline snwbrd

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  • Posts: 10
Re: it was postivive
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2012, 09:41:23 AM »
thanks yall. im so concerened because the only thing i know, and the only experiance i had, was with someone in the last stages of aids, they had no immune system and so we were always wooried abou getting sick.that is why im so parnoid about getting sick and stuff now that i know im positive. i think i am going to wait a little bit to start meds, it is a life long thing, and i cant  afford them, am meeting with a case mangager, or something like that today, we are going to go over the things which i may quilfy for, ive heard some things about adap, or something like that. but anyway i am going to wait for a little bit, and see how my next few labs are.

Offline bob_89q

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #12 on: December 18, 2012, 07:59:22 AM »
I have read that you can buy the Indian version of atripla fairly cheaply and get them sent to you.
I also don't think your computer broke cos it knew you have HIV. If it did then bin it.

Offline snwbrd

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #13 on: December 18, 2012, 10:46:36 PM »
im not saying it broke cause i had hiv, im saying i found out about my status, then my computer broke like a few days after that, and i fell apart over it. i wouldnt say my computer broke cause it knew i had hiv

Offline collegedude250

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  • Posts: 7
Re: it was postivive
« Reply #14 on: December 19, 2012, 12:25:51 AM »
Hey,

     First of all, I am so sorry. I remember when I got my results back a year ago; it didn't even seem real and it took me over a week before the fog cleared enough for me to think logically about what was happening. My suggestion to you is: find a friend who you trust and tell them. Be prepared for them to be in a bit of shock at first, (also, make sure this friend is stable because you are going to need to lean on them for a little bit of support)but let them love you. Second, realize you are still worth loving and your status has no affect on your person-hood or your intrinsic value. Third, I recommend doing some research (but limit yourself to 30 minutes or so a day at max, obsessing is not going to help); find out what you are dealing with from professionals who have written on the matter (cites like webMD or Mayoclinic would be helpful in aiding this). Last but not least, realize this isn't the end of your life, things will be a bit chaotic at first, but as time passes you will learn how to cope with this and medication will allow you to live a normal and happy life. Life will never be the same, but that doesn't mean it has to be bad. Like many of life's troubles, this will get simpler as time goes on if you listen to your Dr.s and take care of yourself. I wish you all of the luck, and if you need to talk, feel free to message me.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: it was postivive
« Reply #15 on: December 19, 2012, 05:32:22 AM »
im not saying it broke cause i had hiv, im saying i found out about my status, then my computer broke like a few days after that, and i fell apart over it. i wouldnt say my computer broke cause it knew i had hiv

I get what you're saying there. A week or two into my own diagnosis, I decided to defrost my freezer. It needed to be done and it was "busy" work to keep myself occupied. I got a little over-zealous and accidentally punctured a coolant line and I ended up a basket case for a couple hours. It was the first time I really cried after diagnosis and it was very cathartic. It took a minor (in the greater scheme of things) problem to break through the numbness I had been experiencing.

Minor or not, it was a very real problem because the whole fridge was unusable and I didn't have the money to buy a new one. It all turned out ok in the end - my partner had a mate who coincidentally happened to have a working fridge going for free, because he'd just bought a new one. I ended up with a better (bigger) fridge than I'd had and the whole experience also had the effect of breaking through the numbness so I could finally start dealing with the emotional aspects of an hiv diagnosis. Win-win.

You're also not the only one to view a diagnosis in the post-HAART era through the lens of the pre-HAART days. When my current partner was diagnosed (not the fridge guy), his prior experience of hiv was when he was an aide worker in Sudan during the 1990s. He saw people dying horrible deaths due to aids - adults, children and babies alike.

When he was diagnosed in 2001, he thought the doctors were humouring him when they said the meds worked and as long as he took them as directed, the type of deaths he saw in Africa weren't in his future. It took him quite a long time to finally trust and believe the doctors, but he got there in the end. You will too.

It gets better. Give yourself time.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline YellowFever

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #16 on: December 20, 2012, 08:30:05 PM »
"It gets better"

People with HIV should really start making videos like that. God knows how much it would have helped all those newly infected... like me.
I mean, search for HIV and its just a very lugubrious list of videos, especially Nick Rhoades'. I cried too..

*sorry to run this off topic.
08/2010 HIV- 08/2012 HIV+
10/2012 CD4 415(15%)
04/2013 CD4 457(15%)
10/2013 CD4 520 (20%) VL 650 (wtf?)
02/2014 CD4 410(20%) VL 390 (yay!)

Offline Ithappens

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Re: it was postivive
« Reply #17 on: December 21, 2012, 02:00:10 AM »
Snw, it gets easier!  I held it together pretty well after finding out when around people but cried like a baby every chance that i got alone.  My Dr reassured me i'd be ok, hugged me and eased my fears before i left the office.  What was most painful for me was a feeling of disappointment in myself and my family members that i'd have to tell and that it was actually made be cry. You'll definitely need a friend you can trust, i don't recommend holding it all in.
4/2009 Negative
6/24/09 ER with 104 degree temp
July-Nov 09 constantly had a cold and was tired, late Nov i asked to be tested
11/30/09 Tested positive and my Dr had the results confirmed before he told me
12/30/09 Appt with ID MD
1/28/10 cd4: 382 VL:72226
2/11/10 Started Atripla
4/10 cd4: 530 VL: UD
8/10 cd4: 551 VL: UD
11/10 cd4: 430 VL: UD
3/11 "                     "
9/11 cd4: 628 VL: UD
2/12 cd4: 638 VL: 103
7/12 cd4: 644 VL: UD 35%
1/13 cd4: 665 VL: UD 36%

 


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