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Author Topic: New place...In need of local friends! :)  (Read 1066 times)

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Offline unspokenthoughts

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  • Posts: 13
New place...In need of local friends! :)
« on: December 08, 2012, 07:14:34 PM »
 :) Hello everyone! I just moved to a much bigger city than what I'm used to and in need of friends, advice, and maybe some form of employment. I looked on all kinds of sites and almost played into a couple of scams online. PM me if you're interested in becoming friends. I'm 30 yrs old, in a committed relationship, fun to be around, love to laugh...I just want to seek the city of Chicago more. My fiancee really doesn't like going out much and since she has lived here for years isn't really looking forward to site seeing LOL, but I'm all up for it if I have a few dollars for a one day pass. Take care!

And another thing. Look up the definition of friendship before you even pm me because I don't want to be friends with someone that isn't comfortable in their own skin. We keep our health issues private from her friends, so I expect the same respect. If there is ever an indiscretion the friendship or what I thought was will be over.  :(  Have a good one! I'm open to anyone regardless of race and sexual preference. I just clearly want a friend.

Offline Rev. Moon

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  • Smart ass faggot
Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2012, 07:19:48 PM »
Hi.  Just to be sure... are you HIV positive?
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline unspokenthoughts

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Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2012, 10:33:54 PM »

Hi.  Just to be sure... are you HIV positive?


Yes I am HIV poz. 2007 and still stronger than ever. :)

Offline emeraldize

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Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2012, 10:57:37 PM »
I'm genuinely curious.

If I moved to a new city and was looking for new friends -- I wouldn't be inclined to serosort search for them. In other words, most of my current friends aren't HIV positive, thankfully, and if I moved to a new city, I'd be looking for people via meetup groups like those that focus on art, or jazz, or whatever hobby I was pursuing.

You note you have a poz fiancee and she's supportive -- so why not friendships no matter what someone's health status may be?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2012, 11:34:11 PM »

And another thing. Look up the definition of friendship before you even pm me because I don't want to be friends with someone that isn't comfortable in their own skin. We keep our health issues private from her friends, so I expect the same respect. If there is ever an indiscretion the friendship or what I thought was will be over.  :(  Have a good one! I'm open to anyone regardless of race and sexual preference. I just clearly want a friend.

I"m thinking that the definition of "comfortable in their own skin" might be addressed before the definition of friendship here.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline wolfter

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Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2012, 11:40:08 PM »
I'm not sure I'd want to be friends with someone who always has a stringent sets of rules for me before we even meet.  Friendship don't develop that way.  You meet excessive amounts of people and connect with those who spark your interest.  Then you either developer deeper relationships or you don't. 

Best of wishes on your new journey.  Perhaps you could introduce yourself and get to know us a little here. 

Wolfie
Judging someone does not define them, it defines you. 

True peace is not merely the absence of war, it is the presence of justice.

Offline unspokenthoughts

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Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2012, 01:27:48 AM »
 :( I tried having negative friends...then I opened up to them about my status and that's the only reason why I wouldn't want the friends I may have here to know my status. When I lived in AL...there were a couple of girls that I got close with. I told them my status. I thought I could trust them since they trusted me with vital information about their personal lives, but they ended up telling everyone at my job what happened and why I seem to be tired at times, and why I wasn't dating anyone at that time. I tend to be an open book and I've been working on that. The reason why I said the person who wants to be my friend shouldn't be bold about their status is because my wife's friends aren't educated about the disease. They don't even know we have it. I just don't want a bold activists in here on girl's night playing cards and discuss  their cd4 count. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. I guess I have to rewrite my invitation. Now if its just me and you then yeah we can discuss HIV all day if you want, but I'm mainly on here to find a friend...Excuse me for being blunt.

My name is Yolanda. I'm originally from AL and I've been positive since March 2007. I have no children, never been married, had many relationships both with poz people and negative people. If you would like to get to know more about me...maybe we could pm each other that would be nice. I'm not new to poz either. I have had a few names trying to search for love and friendships earlier a couple of years ago, but like I said with the relationships that came and gone came heartache and distrust. I just want everything to be out in the open that way if we do become friends there would be a time and place for everything and talking about HIV around her friends is something I don't want to do and argue with my wife about after the odd looks her friends may give her and possibly end their friendship with her at the end of the night. And I've tried to explain to her if they are your friend they will accept you all of you, but she likes it like this.

Offline unspokenthoughts

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Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2012, 01:33:55 AM »
jkinatl2....I apologize for the bad grammar...lol but I know what friendship means. And yeah I put that in the wrong way, but you got the point either way. And wolfter I tried to be friends with people from work, but they already have their own group. People are different here. I'm really and truly a nice person, but that's new blood in the city life eyes so I try to stay stern and clear about what I expect, what you can expect from me and so on. Kinda tired of doing the online chat thing as well. I found my gf through a mutual friend on Facebook. Isn't that something? I just want someone to talk to, chill with other than my wife, and have conversations about poetry, travel, etc.

Offline unspokenthoughts

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  • Posts: 13
Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2012, 01:38:52 AM »
emeraldize- Like I stated before I am trying to find a friend and also someone I can talk to about everything. And I moved because she wouldn't move to AL, so I took a chance on moving out here already knowing that I will have to start fresh which is a good thing, but also a bad thing when there's absolutely nothing to do on a Friday night lol or any night in my case. I'm tired of just being a home body. Negative people at times don't understand what its like...I have one poz friend, but she stays in NY and when I call her up and she says she's tired and she just took her meds then I know what's going on. I can't tell a negative friend that. I'm undetected and not taking meds but if I ever...I wouldn't know how to explain that.

Offline emeraldize

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  • Posts: 3,261
Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2012, 07:18:56 AM »
It appears your best opportunity is to call your local AIDS service organization and find out when their support group meets.

Again, it escapes my logic that you're lucky enough to have a positive partner and yet need someone to "talk to about everything". You're looking for someone to hang with on a Friday night and you want that person to be positive. You're lucky enough to be "undetected" and not taking meds and want someone who understands being positive.

I don't think I've ever read of a "friend shopper" like you. Please let us know how you get on in your new city. Makes me think of millionaires who only wanna hang with millionaires rather than having a welcome taste of interactions based on chance and genuine liking. Aside from an ASO support group, maybe you would find it easier, and I am serious about this, to go on the poz dating site to find friends. I think you indicated you don't care about any criteria other than being positive -- so as long as your profile is clear about your intentions, that may be your Mall.

Offline unspokenthoughts

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Found a couple of locals!
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2012, 06:22:10 PM »
Found a couple of locals that feels the same as I do on the poz personals friendship only search. Thanks everyone!

Offline unspokenthoughts

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  • Posts: 13
Re: New place...In need of local friends! :)
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2012, 06:24:56 PM »
When I said I couldn't talk to her about everything is because sometimes its her that lets me down. She's at times depressed about having it and in some cases even told me she was saving to commit suicide at one point before meeting me. We have talked everything out and we are both going to go to counseling next week. Thanks again.

Offline unspokenthoughts

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  • Posts: 13
Job Hunting...
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2012, 12:42:48 AM »
Now all I need to do is find another job and I'd be set. I'm happy, but financially I think everyone has had their downfall. I look at this time as a test of faith.  ;) While talking to others on this site since 2007 I've only had one person that I still communicate with daily or every other day in that matter. Hopefully get to visit her in New York soon. Also does anyone know any info about medicaid and how that works? I went on the site, but by me not having an IL license it's kinda hard to sign up for anything. Plus in 87 the state changed my last name to my biological's father name. (just recently found this out) and its been hell. DOn't don't accept copies of my original certificate so I ordered a new one and that's when I found out. Are there any other options available. Also talked to the doctor my wife goes to and she said without an IL license I can't do much. Ugh like an ongoing circle of bad luck here.

 


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