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HIV+ and married with child

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RiderMan, I am interested in hearing if you ever told your wife. I am in a very similar situation as you. Married, no intimacy, but outside of that we have a great relationship that I do not want to destroy. I am terrified of telling her. I have started taking meds and have been able to keep everything secret so far but it seems like a matter of time before I will have no choice to tell her.

Not only do I fear the reaction of my positive status but also of my cheating on her which led to it.

Any advice from would be welcome.

If you love your wife and if you respect her, let her make up her own mind what she wants to do about/how she wants to feel and react, to your infidelity and HIV+ status.
What kind of great relationship is based on fundamental lies.  Been there, done that. If there are big lies in a relationship, its not a "great relationship."  In my humble opinion.

Also when sex dies in a relationship, the partners should hash it out honestly and thoroughly to see if they both want to repair the intimacy, both want to continue in a non-sexual relationship, or split up.  I know lots of people do not have this communication, but I still think its the best way forward for all concerned.  People should never give up on sexual intimacy, no matter how long the dry spell.  That's my opinion.  I know couples who stay together for a lot of reasons besides sex. Sex can be totally off the table and each partner pursues love affairs.  Whats the point of staying "faithful" is there is no sex, period.


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