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Author Topic: Scared  (Read 2029 times)

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Offline babybear67

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Scared
« on: December 05, 2012, 02:49:57 PM »
I was just diagnosed last month.  My blood work came back and my Dr told me that my T-cell are over 1000 so, no meds right now.  After I was told i went to my partner and told him.  he freaked out and told me to get out, to never return.

Now I'm scared to death to say anything to anyone for the fear of them leaving me also. I have a good friend that we are talking and they want more of a relationship but, there is the status that i need to disclose.  If i do, they may leave. 

 I have told my Dr and they are going to see me and evaluate me for anti-depression.  I have been trying to find support groups but, all i find are counseling center and they want to preach to you.  i do not need that,  i need to find other HIV people in my area.  Its like they are all hiding....  Welcome to the south.


Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Scared
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2012, 05:56:22 PM »
I was just diagnosed last month.  My blood work came back and my Dr told me that my T-cell are over 1000 so, no meds right now.  After I was told i went to my partner and told him.  he freaked out and told me to get out, to never return.

Now I'm scared to death to say anything to anyone for the fear of them leaving me also. I have a good friend that we are talking and they want more of a relationship but, there is the status that i need to disclose.  If i do, they may leave. 

 I have told my Dr and they are going to see me and evaluate me for anti-depression.  I have been trying to find support groups but, all i find are counseling center and they want to preach to you.  i do not need that,  i need to find other HIV people in my area.  Its like they are all hiding....  Welcome to the south.



Hello, and welcome to the forums! I am sorry you had to find us, but glad you did.

Also sorry to hear about your partner's response. Funny how gay men still manage to lead the charge when it comes to HIV stigma sometimes.

Where in the south are you? I'm in Atlanta, and maybe we can find an ASO and a group that meets nearby. Regardless, this is a safe place to talk about your issues, and you won't find a better informed bunch of people.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline anmlvrnyc

  • Member
  • Posts: 22
Re: Scared
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2012, 10:20:56 PM »
hey babybear,
i was diagnosed last year and i was afraid of people leaving me too. i still have not told my friends or family yet. i searched for support groups but that didn't help me that much. but i did find some good people all over the country. thank god for the internet. you will find new friends and support. you are certainly not alone.
I had already been on anti depressant when i was diagnosed. i did increase the dose and it helped me calm myself down. 
your CD4 is excellent.
take a deep breath. keep living.

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,765
Re: Scared
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2012, 11:20:40 PM »
Welcome to the forums, even though I'm sorry you had to find this place.  Your CD4 is great.  I'm sorry to hear about the reaction your partner had.  Man, that just makes things worse.  I can always understand someone not being able to deal with the virus.  I mean, we're all human.  But, being so cruel about it, especially to someone you supposedly love, is just being an asshole.  Even if an infection came from an affair (not suggesting that's the case), I would still hope a partner would at least show compassion, even if it meant an end to the relationship.

It is good you found out what kind of person he is now, even though it was a bad way of finding that out.  This site is a good place to discuss health issues or even just silly stuff.  It is especially good for people who don't have anyone in their "real" life to talk with about HIV. 

I'll look forward to hearing more from you. 

Ted

Offline Jmarksto

  • Member
  • Posts: 468
Re: Scared
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2012, 12:33:29 AM »
Hey Babybear;  I am sorry you need to be here, but welcome - you found a very supportive place with great information.  I am so sorry that your partner reacted the way he did -- the good news is that HIV is medically manageable and you are going to be fine.  It is good to see that you know that you need support.

Again, welcome and wishing you well,
JM
03/15/12 Negative
06/15/12 Positive
07/11/12 CD4 790          VL 4,000
08/06/12 CD4 816/38%   VL 49,300
08/20/12 Started Complera
11/06/12 CD4   819/41% VL 38
02/11/13 CD4   935/41% VL UD
06/06/13 CD4   816/41% VL UD
10/28/13 CD4 1131/45%  VL 25
02/25/14 CD4   792/37%  VL UD
07/09/14 CD4 1004/39%   VL UD

Offline Fisher

  • Member
  • Posts: 272
Re: Scared
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2012, 05:45:06 PM »
Hold on!  Time heals. You are fine. You will settle down and feel better soon.  Give yourself some time!  Absolutely natural to feel scared shitless.  This will pass, and you have your full life ahead of you.
- fisher
04/14 CD 486 %23 VL <20
11/13 CD 351 %21  VL <20
10/13 CD 390 %16  VL <20
06/13 CD 315 %19  VL  22
02/13 CD 396 %14  VL <20
12/12 CD 392 %13  VL 320
11/12 CD 428 %13  VL 1200
*Started Meds: Atripla
10/12 CD 427 %11  VL 139000 -- 09/12 CD 408 %13 VL 92928
09/11 CD 745 %27 VL CLOT -- 10/10 CD 863 %29 VL 2782
10/09 CD 597 %30 VL 2537 -- 05/08 CD 809 %28 VL 1504
04/07 CD 797 %25 VL 3558 -- 11/06 CD 720 %28 VL 1214
06/05 CD 731 %25 VL 1575 -- 12/04 CD 1176 %30 VL 1329
01/04 CD 959 %26 VL 1011 -- 11/03 CD 1000 %28 VL 1581
12/02 CD 748 %28 -- 10/01 CD 860 %25
08/00 CD 1022 %28 -- 04/99 CD 854 %27
11/98 CD 899 %28 -- 02/97 CD 1400 %37
11/96 CD 1325  VL <500 -- 09/96 Western Blot
05/83 04/98 - Monogamous Partner Being Negative
ARS - Los Angeles Dec '82

 


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