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Author Topic: sex in a long term relationship...  (Read 1677 times)

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Offline mitch777

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  • Posts: 3,691
sex in a long term relationship...
« on: November 30, 2012, 10:45:30 AM »
OK, many of you will laugh at this, but...

My hubby and I have been together 18+ years.
During our first year together we were watching TV and someone (don't remember who) said, " If you put a penny in a jar every time you have sex with your partner for the first year, and then take a penny out of the jar every time you have sex after the first year, you will never run out of pennies from the jar."

We laughed. :)
18 years later...
not so funny. :-[

Comments? ;D
(those people under 35 and those who have not been in a long term relationship can continue with your giggles.) ;D

PS- We did have a GREAT first year!! ;)
« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 10:48:46 AM by mitch777 »
32 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline red_Dragon888

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  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2012, 11:24:39 AM »
Sex is the road you ride on but love, commitment, security, love, yeah I said it already, is the destination.   
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Online Buckmark

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  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2012, 01:33:30 PM »
In a long-term relationship, most couples need to actively focus on keeping up (no pun intended) their sexual activity.  Otherwise, for many (most?) people, the familiarity of being with someone for a long time tends to make sex with them less exciting and interesting.  Also, for many people, their sex drive seems to fall off with age (though that's certainly not true for everyone).  If you are unhappy with your sex life, the two of you need to talk about it and work at changing that.
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline mitch777

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Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2012, 02:42:02 PM »
Thanks Buckmark,

I/we don't seem to have much of a problem with the way things are with our sex life.
Something reminded me of that quote today and made me laugh once again.
(although for much different reasons than I was laughing 18 years ago. ???)
Just thought to share the story of the penny jar. :)
I should have made this more clear in my original post.
oops.

Quote
Sex is the road you ride on but love, commitment, security, love, yeah I said it already, is the destination.

Well said, potholes included. :D
« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 02:45:18 PM by mitch777 »
32 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Online Buckmark

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  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2012, 03:51:48 PM »
Well said, potholes included. :D

And blow outs.   :o
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2012, 04:49:04 PM »
I thought Love was a Battlefield. I've been gearing up wrong THE WHOLE TIME.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline tednlou2

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  • Posts: 5,053
Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2012, 05:22:17 PM »
We just celebrated 17 years.  Had a jar full of pennies the first year, and even the first 5.  Our donations to the jar were less and less each year.  He just isn't all that sexual anymore.  I do think his migraine meds, bp and lipid meds contribute.  Plus, he believes his testosterone is low and wants to get it checked.  But, the familiarity factor is big.  I always say if our hot neighbor came over and hung out, he would get excited and be ready to go.  Sex together is amazing, don't get me wrong.  But, sex with someone new is exciting.  There is just something more thrilling about new sex.  Sex with a partner is great in different ways. 


Offline mitch777

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Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2012, 05:37:50 PM »
hey Ted,
i understand everything you are saying but the pennies in this theory start to come OUT of the jar after "year #1".

can you still buy a candy bar?

our years 2-6 were still pretty good too but SO many pennies were put in the jar in year #1 that, well... ;) ;D ??? :P :-[ :)
« Last Edit: November 30, 2012, 05:44:25 PM by mitch777 »
32 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline tednlou2

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Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2012, 05:45:13 PM »
hey Ted,
i understand everything you are saying but the pennies in this theory start to come OUT of the jar after "year #1".
our years 2-6 were still pretty good too but SO many pennies were put in the jar in year #1 that, well... ;) ;D ??? :P :-[ :)

Ok, right.  Well, we have a shit load of pennies in our jar.  We ain't taking many out.  :'(   

Offline mitch777

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Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #9 on: November 30, 2012, 05:47:48 PM »
lol!
us too.
oh well,
we are still happy. :)
32 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #10 on: December 01, 2012, 02:38:42 AM »
I think lack of sex can be a very bad thing in a long-term couple...  Can be.  For example, both parties need to be OK with lack of sex, with each other.

Also if one of them wants sex and goes seeking it elsewhere, we all know what a landmine that can be.  (careful to use the modal can - does not "have to" be...) 

Also, if no sex means not much physical contact, that would be pretty crappy. 

Love is bigger than sex, sure.  But life without sex is like life without _______________ .  (fill in blank with something that really floats your boat.)
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline decayingsinner

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  • Posts: 274
Re: sex in a long term relationship...
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2012, 09:00:56 AM »
I have been in a relationship for close to four years and we both love each other very much.  The problem is our sex life has been non-existent for the past year.  I was having issues with alcohol and he approached me to stop and for the better of our relationship and my own health I have not drank for a year now.  We both are very comfortable and I know some of his weight gain bothers him a lot.  I did approach him a few months ago about our lack of a sex life together and he said he would work on it, but I have not seen much of an improvement if any.  I'm not sure what to do now.  I make advances, but nothing.  When we first started dating our sex life was non-stop.  Not sure what to do.

 


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