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Author Topic: ex girlfriend won't get tested  (Read 1270 times)

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Offline okay

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ex girlfriend won't get tested
« on: November 29, 2012, 10:06:20 PM »
should i just let it go?

i'll keep it short:

knew her for 3 months
she had one bf before me

we had oral sex on two separate occasions 5 weeks ago

ONLY oral

HOWEVER!!!

i had a little cut on my nose during that time. so small that i did not even notice it at the time. it was not bleeding. on the bright side, she was not very wet. the first thing i noticed about her is that she was not as wet as any other girl i had been with. which is probably a good thing (in this case). so i had to use a lot of saliva on her vagina. I don't remember if i stuck my nose inside her vag but i probably did.

3 days after our first encounter i had a swollen lymph node on my neck. then i noticed i had a cold sore inside my nose (that's related to the cut i was talking about). i was already long due for a cold sore, since i get them all the time, so i didn't make a big deal out of it. it went away in 3 days and so did the swollen lymph node.

4 weeks after i start developing stomach acid. then i got a sore throat. then dry cough -- the dry cough, i believe, is due to globus sensation, which can be caused my stress and anxiety, and i've been very stressed about it lately so it could be from that.

here are my symptoms, in the order in which they appeared:

swollen nodes under neck
acid reflux
sore throat
specific muscle pains
sweet taste in mouth

here's what i DONT have:

diarrhea
fever
fatigue
white tongue
rash

Should I be worry? Should i keep telling her to get tested? she doesn't want to. she's sort of a shy girl and very intimidated by these things.

Online RapidRod

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Re: ex girlfriend won't get tested
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2012, 10:37:01 PM »
You never had an exposure from oral sex.

Offline okay

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Re: ex girlfriend won't get tested
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2012, 10:44:42 PM »
You never had an exposure from oral sex.

I know the risks related to oral sex... but what about the cut on my nose? that's what worries me the most.

and assuming she was HIV+ AND had a had a high viral load (she broke up with her ex 3 months after our incident).

but on the bright side there was not a lot of vaginal lubrication

also I had facial hair - maybe my spiky beard cut little holes in her vag?

Online RapidRod

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Re: ex girlfriend won't get tested
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2012, 11:00:11 PM »
No risk at all.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: ex girlfriend won't get tested
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2012, 12:12:24 AM »
I know the risks related to oral sex... but what about the cut on my nose? that's what worries me the most.

and assuming she was HIV+ AND had a had a high viral load (she broke up with her ex 3 months after our incident).

but on the bright side there was not a lot of vaginal lubrication

also I had facial hair - maybe my spiky beard cut little holes in her vag?


Let me attempt to address your misconceptions about HIV transmission. The first of course is your statement that you "know the risks related to oral sex." Your statements before and after prove that you simply do not.

Cunnilingus is NOT a viable route of infection. Never has been. Not with cuts on your nose or scraping her "vag" with your beard.

As the most cursory reading of this forum, particularly the eloquent posts by moderator Ann should offer, the vaginal lubrication you experience during cunnilingus arises from the Bartholin's Gland, a gland which secretes lubrication which is no more infectious than sweat or saliva or tears - meaning none at all.

In a female with HIV, infectious fluids are isolated in the thick mucousal cervical fluid, which is NOT reached by the tongue and the fluids are NOT dispersed throughout the vagina.

Moreover, your saliva contains over a dozen elements that act to neutralize HIV, rendering it inactive.

The notion of small cuts and microscopic scraping of the skin sounds like the early 80s, when hysteria ruled over reason insofar as HIV was concerned. Please believe me, were any of those things viable transmission risks then the human race would be in serious decline by now.

Cunnilingus is no more risky than kissing, or sharing a hot tub, or getting a bead of her sweat in your eye. In other words, it's patently not.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline okay

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Re: ex girlfriend won't get tested
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2012, 08:12:56 PM »
Then why do so many people get the same symptoms as I do? Just by reading this forum I see a lot of people with similar symptoms.

Could stress and anxiety really cause it?

Have you ever told anyone they had no risk and then they come back and tell you they did test positive?

Online RapidRod

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Re: ex girlfriend won't get tested
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2012, 08:16:53 PM »
What part of you didn't have an exposure is it you don't understand? If you are concerned about your symptoms see a doctor, they have nothing to do with HIV.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ex girlfriend won't get tested
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2012, 08:26:13 PM »
You did not have a risk for HIV. We're not going to engage in  a debate with you about it. Doubts and conjectures and bits you pick up elsewhere are not facts. There is no need for further concern about HIV. Whatever is causing your symptoms is not HIV and is something you need to discuss with your doctor.

If you continue to return here about this non-risk incident you are very quickly going to find yourself getting a time out for 28 days. Consider yourself warned.

HIV is not your problem. Period.
Andy Velez

 


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